The Cerulean Swan
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: Anna Smith owns a jazz club called the Cerulean Swan and John Bates enters the scene to replace a lagging alcohol maker and distributor, Green. He invites her to come to his alcohol refinery, The Bubble Room, and specializes in refined champagnes and other alcoholic beverages. Together they will create a new kind of night club with his new brand: Ugly Duckling.
1. Welcome to the Swan

She rubbed at her eyes and then blinked rapidly as if she could clear her vision. Taking a deep breath she shook her head.

"How many times do I have to tell you? We want the order no later than two every Monday and Friday."

"It gets difficult to keep up with the orders."

"I don't bloody well care. I'm running a business and I can't have my customers being told before last call that there's no more for them." She held up her hands, "I've found new suppliers and they start tomorrow."

"What about this week's receipt?"

"I already paid you in advanced for the half shipping we had last week so you finish delivering this week and that's it."

"What if I don't?"

"Then, Mr. Green, I'll have to talk to the nice men I know down the street at the nearest precinct and they'll come and raid your trashy little dump for what you owe me and at least three other jazz clubs down this street." She stood up, "And by the way, the last batch you sold us was shit so you're lucky we paid you at all."

"Ms. Smith-"

"No," Smith waved Green out of her office, "Get out before I have someone haul you out of here."

She watched the man throw his chair back and stomp out of her office, slamming the door. She shook her head again, pacing behind the desk as someone knocked on the door. She sighed and turned to the door, "Come in."

A tall, lanky man came through the door and waved her, "Sorry to bother you, Ms. Smith, but I just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I will be once we get all those bottles of Green Champagne out of our system." She snorted, "Maybe we give it to the drunk ones and we'll find ourselves out fractions of cost for the good stuff."

"I think we could use it to fill the toilets and save on water." The other man laughed and she pointed to the space outside her office.

"What's the view for the evening?"

"We've got a good take I think. Mr. Crawley is in tonight, probably because Mrs. Crawley is singing, but he's not bringing the younger Mr. Crawley. He's bringing someone with him but won't say whom."

"Probably some new investor Mr. Talbot." Ms. Smith took another breath, "Make sure we set aside the Grey Room for them."

"Will do Ms. Smith." Talbot left and Ms. Smith took her seat again, rotating in her chair to stare out the window with the large, blue swan in flight etched into its surface. She took a deep breath, staring down at the golden hued room below, decorated with blue over the walls and large chandeliers with bubble-styled lighting.

She stood up, folding her arms over her chest as she looked down at the room with her workers and cleaners making the room shine for the evening's activities. Her eyes went to the large artistic display on the wall of a larger, attacking blue swan, over the label, 'The Cerulean Swan'.


	2. King of Bubbles

Ms. Smith arranged her skirt and walked out of her office, turning the key before tucking it into her belt. She took the back stairs to the dressing rooms and knocked on one of the doors. A voice inside halted in the middle of a set of scales to call "come in" before continuing to a high note.

Ms. Smith entered the room and clapped as the dark-haired woman finished her warm up, "Congratulations Mrs. Crawley, you'll kill them all tonight."

"I'd rather have them all lining up to buy the album." Mrs. Crawley checked herself in the mirror again, touching her hair, "I think I should get it all cut off."

"I don't think the pixie cut'd look good on you Mary." Ms. Smith stepped forward and measured at Mary's chin, "Maybe a bob with a nice a-line."

"Maybe." Mary checked herself in the mirror again, "But Matthew'd throw a fit. He loves my hair and can't stand to part with it."

"Maybe we should stop making decisions based on what men think. It's your hair and the twenty-first century."

"Remind my father of that. He almost had a heart attack when he saw the album cover," Mary shuddered, "Ranted for an hour about how I needed to wear more clothes."

"Or any clothes at all?"

Mary pulled a face, "Anna, not you too."

Anna held up her hands, "I'm only saying that we live in a new time and while I'm sure you sold more posters to needy boys than you'd like to think about, there's an image to the Cerulean we want to protect."

"This posh, retro 20's feel?" Mary pulled a boa from over the mirror and tossed it over her shoulder, "That vibe?"

"No," Anna snatched the boa away, smiling, "The image that I don't run a jazz club trying to be the Playboy club."

"Please. The drinks aren't good enough for that and you got rid of all the cigarette girls." Mary took a drink from a glass before hissing, "Drinks like this. Is this Green's?"

"It's the last of it." Anna grimaced, "I fired him today."

"Best move you made all year," Mary finished the glass and shuddered, "Only the good stuff from now on."

"Talbot's already on the case. He's just increased our contracts with three suppliers and your father hinted at another one he wants us to look into."

Mary made a face, pulling her lips away from her teeth, "Eesh, are you sure you should take advice from my father?"

"I respect the honest efforts of good people who invested in this business." Anna took a deep breath, "And put up with a bit of interference if the situation calls for it."

"Anna that man's shit with investments."

"Hey," Anna swatted at Mary, "He invested in this and in you."

"Every blind squirrel finds a nut and only because I told him to."

"I'll keep it to myself that you said that. He calls this his greatest triumph."

"He would."

Anna looked over the dressing room, "Otherwise are you all ready for tonight?"

"It's a soft opening launch for my second album," Mary waved a hand and dug in the mini-fridge for a bottle of water, "I'm a pro."

"Right." Anna went to the door, "Just remember that the next time I have to hold your hair while you chuck into the toilet."

"That was one time."

"One time I'll never forget."

"Go if you're only going to make fun. Shoo."

Anna waved and shut the door, leaving Mary to start her scales again. She shook her head and weaved through the backstage rooms as a woman with brown hair and a plain dress checked something on a clipboard.

"Alright there Phyllis?"

Phyllis looked up at Anna and nodded, showing her the clipboard, "So far. Talbot's got the Grey Room all made up and I made sure the sound'll carry perfectly in there. Tom's situated at the bar and with Mrs. Crawley prepping in her dressing room I'd say all we're missing is the DJ."

"I hope she's not late again." Anna rubbed her forehead, "My iPod didn't exactly wow the crowd last time."

"I already checked and she's out back unloading with her group. Mrs. Harding, or as her DJ moniker goes, DJ Hard Style," Phyllis winced, "Will be ready to start ten minutes before opening."

"Good." Anna checked around the bustle of backstage. "Make sure Will and Alfred are on the floor and I want Moseley managing the Grey Room. It'll take stress off Talbot to have someone else working the executive rooms with him."

"What about Jimmy?"

Anna shook her head, "If he's late again sack him with my permission. If he's on time he's managing deliveries and closing up. If he argues remind him what happened to Barrow and O'Brien. I don't need that kind of attitude or behavior in the Cerulean."

"Yes ma'am." Phyllis smiled, "There's one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Tom said there's a man here early."

"Tom's not supposed to open the doors to anyone before five. Or at all." Anna checked her watch, "Dinner rush isn't even until six. What's he thinking?"

Phyllis shrugged, "He said the man claimed to have a meeting with you and seemed adamant about it."

"I don't have any meetings unless Talbot scheduled and forgot to tell me." Anna wracked her brain, "Alright, I'll go handle that. Keep everything else running and remember the motto."

"Don't let it burn down around our ears?"

"That's the one." Anna took the door to the main floor and stepped back as the hidden door rotated right back into the wall.

She looked over the room and noticed the long bar, shaped like a pair of wings in flight, hosting a man chatting to the barman. Anna eyed him from a distance, noting his broad frame and straight back as he sat on the stool. His voice seemed deep enough to be intimidating but held a light and friendly tone. She ran her tongue over her teeth as she sized him up, she would have to use a gentler hand with this one.

Anna walked over to the bar, noting the second of fear in the barman's eyes, before she tapped on the surface to get the other man's attention. "Will you be buying yourself a drink or continue to sit here and take up my barman's time?"

The barman ducked his head, "Sorry Ms. Smith. He said he had a meeting scheduled with you."

"Not a problem Tom. Just open up a new create for us and then don't let anyone else in before we open." Anna lowered her voice, "And remember to cut half and half on the wine after five glasses. I don't want to blow everything on the lushes yeah?"

"Absolutely Ms. Smith," Tom winked at her and then extended his hand toward the other man, "Good to meet you John."

"And you Tom," John shook and then turned to Anna, "I apologize for taking up your barman's time but he's quite the conversationalist."

"He likes to talk but usually cuts his charm to get people to buy more drinks. You," Anna stared at the empty space between them, "Don't seem to be ordering any drinks."

"I don't drink."

"Makes me wonder what kind of meeting a man like yourself has with the owner of a jazz club that specializes in selling alcohol." Anna pointed to the assortment of alcohol behind the bar. "If you don't drink it seems a bit of a waste."

"Not if I get to see someone as gorgeous as yourself."

Anna raised an eyebrow, "Do you use that in all your meetings?"

"Only the ones I care to impress." John spread his hands, "I'm actually here to meet a friend."

"Does your friend know you don't drink?"

"He's aware."

"And yet he invited you to an establishment that sells alcohol?" Anna tsked, "That feels low for a friend. Thought of investing in another one?"

"I lost all my other friends after the divorce." John shrugged, "I guess since we didn't have kids that was all I had left to lose."

"Then they weren't really your friends in the first place." Anna sucked the inside of her cheek, "Neither is this one."

"My friend likes to drink and since it's a chance to drink away from his wife, who thinks he should cut back, it's his excuse to do so without feeling guilty."

"That makes you his enabler?"

"That makes me his disapproving friend."

"And what does that disapproval get you?"

"Short twenty quid for his cab home when I roll him into it." John opened his hands, "So it goes with our guilty pleasures eh?"

"I don't think we should ever feel guilty about our pleasures." Anna smiled at him, "Since we're already talking I guess I should ask about the meeting you said we had."

John grimaced, "Actually I may've lied about that."

"I thought as much."

"But you didn't say as much."

"Tom'd feel guilty the whole night about letting in a potential trouble maker and then he'd sell less drinks. Because I'm not a fool I know his Irish charm and cracking smile get us more money from the lonely hearted older women and the ambitious younger girls than anything else we do." Anna clapped her hands together, "Is there something I should have Tom or Talbot get you before I consider having Carson boot you out the door?"

"I'll be fine with water." John tapped his throat theatrically, "I'm a little parched."

"Then I'll see about getting you water before you drink from the gutter Mr.?"

"Bates. John Bates," He extended a hand and Anna shook it. "And you are?"

"I thought you had a meeting with me?" She clicked her tongue, "Seems unprofessional to meet with someone when you don't know their name."

"First, that'd go both ways since, if we were to have a meeting I'd hope you knew my name, and secondly I thought we established I lied about a meeting."

"To get what, the best bar stool in the house?"

"No, to get my bearings." John released her hand, "I wasn't lying about meeting a friend here."

"The same friend that drinks with you even when you don't drink?"

"The very same." John wagged a finger at her, "You still haven't given me your name though."

"Anna Smith."

"Wow," John whistled, "Here I am, meeting the owner on the first night. I heard it's harder to see you in your own club than to find a healthy match on Tinder."

"I am in rare form nowadays." Anna took a breath, "What friend are you waiting for, Mr. Bates?"

"Robert Crawley." John leaned over the bar, "Is there really water back there? I wasn't wholly joking about feeling a bit parched."

Anna hopped onto the counter and swung her legs over, giving John a temporary view before landing behind the bar. She dug in the fridge there and passed him a water. "That's five quid."

"The mark up's insane."

"You should see how the prices jump after ten pm." Anna put her arms on the bar, "So you're the investor Robert was all hush-hush about."

"I wouldn't know about investing," John swigged from the bottle. "I'm here because I have a business proposition and wanted to see where Robert was putting his money these days."

"That's a long list," Anna groaned, "I'm just one of the success stories. I warn you, his percentages aren't high."

"I've known Robert long enough to guess that." John passed the bottle between his hands, "But he seems to've made a good bet with you."

"You can thank Mary for that."

"Mary?"

"Yeah. She's the one who convinced him to invest in this place." Anna scanned the room, admiring the high ceilings and the general décor, "Without her this'd still be a doodle on the back of a napkin somewhere."

"Then," John raised the water bottle like a toast, "To Mary's interference… for once in her life."

"You seem to know Mary pretty well then." Anna ducked under the counter again to retrieve a bottle of water for herself. "How'd you meet her?"

"I've known Mary her whole life. She and Edith were always fighting like alley cats." John shook his head, "I was happy to hear Edith married and moved her business to New York, even if it just meant she didn't have to fight Mary all the time for any kind of attention."

"They say siblings have rivals," Anna pulled at her water, "But you're right, I never met a pair who fought like they did."

"And then there's Sybil." John sighed, "Wonderful Sybil."

"Don't say that name too loudly or Tom'll swoon." Anna smirked, "He's trying to find a way to tell Robert they're dating without losing his job… of his head."

"He's lucky if his head was all he'd lose." John whistled, "Robert accept that his baby's all grown up?"

"Must be rough on a parent."

"Wouldn't personally know," John nodded his head to the side, "Tom and Sybil though… I could see it. He's got a brain and she seems to court adventure."

"Social upheaval is more the word for it. I never met someone so convinced a nurse could fight the establishment as a hipster, social justice warrior."

"The silver spoon probably doesn't help."

"Helped buy the education." Anna took another drink, "Then what does Robert want you investing in?"

"This place." John finished his water and Anna raised an eyebrow. "He got wind that you were cutting a supplier and thought I might want to expand."

"I'm looking for brewers."

"I brew."

"You don't drink."

"Doesn't mean I can't make."

"In my experience, Mr. Bates, those who don't taste what they make are poor judges when it comes to the quality of their product." Anna pointed toward the hidden door, "Just ask my chef, Mrs. Patmore, and she'll talk your ear off about it."

"There's a difference between tasting and drinking." John leaned over the bar, "Your supplier, Green, drinks too much. Ruined his palate and now half his stock is vinegar."

"We just fired him so there's no more worries about that."

"Then you do have an opening."

"You didn't say you'd take it," Anna smiled over the rim of her bottle, "And I never said I was offering one."

"If you were, would you think about it?"

"Depends," She smacked her lips and put her bottle down, "You don't call any of your products after your name, do you?"

"Bates Champagne doesn't really ring in the mouth."

"I don't know," Anna glanced down and then back up, "It might ring in someone's mouth."

John reddened and coughed, "It's not named after me."

"Then what's it called?"

"I've got a product called 'Ugly Duckling'."

"The vodka?"

"That's it."

Anna chewed the inside of her cheek, "Is that the same one that won last year's artesian vodka competition?"

"It did. Beat out three Russian originals and matched with Grey Goose." John shrugged, "What can I say, I'm good at what I do."

"I'll have to see for myself, Mr. Bates."

"Come to the Bubble Room sometime." John dug in his pocket and pulled out a business card.

"The what?"

"The Bubble Room," John ducked his head, "I named it that when I was specializing in expensive champagnes."

"Hm," Anna looked at the card and laughed, "You call yourself 'King of the Bubbles'?"

"No," John tapped the card, "King of Bubbles."

Anna shook her head, "Now I have to see this place."

"You're welcome anytime." John looked up as a deep voice greeted someone through the door and Anna recognized Robert Crawley. "That's my friend."

"So you say." Anna tucked the card into her own pocket. "I've still got my doubts."

"Be that as it may," John extended her his hand, "Pleasure to meet you Ms. Smith. Artifices and deceptions aside."

"And you, Mr. Bates." She bit the side of her mouth, "I admit to enjoying the deception since it was something new."

"Then I'll work to find something new for next time."

"You're certain there is one?"

"I've got a good read on people." John slid off the stool, "Until next time Ms. Smith."

Anna watched John greet Robert and the larger man with intimidating eyebrows escort them to a table as Talbot went to flip the sign at the door. Something jostled behind her and Anna turned to see Tom returning.

"Alright Ms. Smith?"

Anna narrowed her eyes, still watching John. "I think so."

"He's quite interesting isn't he?"

"Who?" Anna furrowed her brow as Tom wiped his hands on his jeans and then pointed across the room to John. "Mr. Bates."

"He's something." Anna pursued her lips, a small smile taking the side of her mouth, "He's definitely something."


	3. The Grey Room

Anna opened the door and smiled as Robert immediately wrapped her in a hug. After a moment he broke away but kept an arm around her shoulders, pointing at her while slightly slurring his words, "She's the reason I'm still afloat."

"I believe it." John came to her rescue, putting a hand on Robert's chest and back, pulling him away before moving him to a white couch, "But I think you're floating right now for a different reason."

"It's this drink," Robert splashed a bit of his drink and Anna tried to suppress her giggle. "It's amazing. Anna have you had any?"

"Yes, I've had it Robert," Anna took the glass from Robert's hand, "And I think you've had too much."

"Never too much at the Cerulean."

"That's why we took your keys." Anna turned to John, "Are you rolling him into a cab or driving him home?"

"I could take his keys but Cora'll spray him with a hose for this." John cringed, "And me too for letting it happen."

"He's celebrating."

"Apparently you've made him rich again."

"I do what I can." Anna tried a smile but it just stretched her mouth without reaching her eyes.

"Don't we all?" John winced as Robert banged his shin on the table but kept walking anyway, dancing to the music wafting through the speakers from the floor below.

"I think I need to impose a limit on him." Anna waved a balding man checking the executive bar in the corner over to her, "Are his drinks half cut with water?"

"I did after his third."

"Maybe next time after the second?"

"Will do Ms. Smith."

"Thank you Moseley." Anna walked over to Robert, pulling at his arm to stop him dancing near the window, "Robert, Cora wants you home."

"She's out with Edith and Sybil until morning." Robert escaped her grip, "I can dance until dawn."

"Maybe you shouldn't," John grabbed Robert and forced him to sit, "Remember you and I were discussing a business proposition."

"Right," Robert snapped his fingers, leaning forward to put his glass on the table but missing it. John caught it before the glass could hit the ground and Anna raised an eyebrow. "I think you an Anna should get together."

Anna and John stared at one another, eyes a little wide. John coughed, "Rob I think-"

"You have your brewery and she's looking for new suppliers. I think it's a great way to get your drinks drunk. No more of the artesian competitions or the overly refined reviews in flight magazines no one reads." Robert waved his hands like he was trying to bat away mosquitos, "I'm talking in people's stomachs instead of just in fancy pictures."

"That's quite the proposition Robert but Henry's just gone and changed the orders we take from the suppliers we already have," Anna took the seat next to John so both of them could focus on the inebriated man now dancing in place on the sofa. "No offense to your friend, who I'm sure is very good at what he does, but we have relationships with these people and-"

"It's foolproof." Robert went to stand but wobbled and fell back down, "It's without fault. This plan'll bring us all success and welsh… I mean wreath… riches, that's it. It'll bring us riches."

"What if Ms. Smith here doesn't care for the taste of what I make?" John suggested but Robert shushed him with a finger over his lips, leaning precariously over the table between them.

"It's my decision as owner."

"Part owner, Robert." Anna ground her teeth slightly, "Remember those decisions are left up to me after last time."

"But John's got the best brewery in the region and I love- love," Robert hiccupped, his eyes unfocusing for a moment as he swayed, "I love him. And his drinks. I love them both so much."

Robert turned to John, his eyes misting and voice gaining a weepy tone, "I love you so much. Did you know John? Do you know how I love you?"

"Yes," John sidestepped around the table to catch Robert under the arm as the man slumped forward, "I know exactly how much you love me."

"Good," Robert buried his face in John's shoulder, "I'm glad you know. Because I love you. If I could marry a man I'd choose you. Do you know why?"

"Because you love me?"

"Yes," Robert poked John's chest, "Because I love you. And you love me too right?"

"I do." John patted his back and waited a moment as Robert's head slipped down and he started snoring into John's jacket. "And he's out."

"How much did he drink?" Anna stood and nodded to Moseley. Moseley lowered the shades of the Grey Room so it was blocked to those below before turning the lights up.

"Not as much as you'd think." John maneuvered Robert's arm over his shoulder and stood. "But more than he should've."

"Is this why he brings you along?" Anna gestured to Robert's lolling head, "Because you can carry him out of the building?"

"And drive him home." John stepped between the sofa and the table, dragging Robert with him, "I don't suppose you still have his keys?"

Anna reached into her pocket and dangled them, "Let me help you get him to his car."

They managed to get Robert down the back stairs and out where a young man was in deep discussion with the older man from the front door. Both stood in a hurry as Anna exited and she tossed the keys to the younger man. "I need Mr. Crawley's car Andy, fast as you can."

"Yes Ms. Smith." He hustled off into the darkness of the car park as the older man pursed his lips at the sight of John holding Robert precariously over his shoulder.

"I thought Mrs. Crawley requested her husband not be allowed to drink more than three."

"She did, Carson but I'm afraid Mr. Crawley is celebrating. Though what I'm not exactly sure." Anna pointed inside, "Could you please make sure that none of the guests are taking their own celebrations to intimate proportions in any back corners?"

"Yes I can." Carson puffed out his chest and stalked inside, ready to put the fear of God into anyone who dared fornicate on the premises.

"He's a little intimidating." John noted, adjusting Robert's arm as the other man started singing softly and slightly off-key.

"Carson's the person I want intimidating my guests. If they're afraid a man who looks like a combination of their father and God decided to keep an eye on proceedings I find far fewer people having sex in my bathroom stalls." Anna hugged her arms to her as the night chill finally set in. "He's softer than he looks."

"I should hope." John smiled and then bit his lip, "I want to apologize for what Robert said up there. He was out of line to force that on you."

"Robert's drunk." Anna kept her shoulders stiff and turned to face John, "He'll forget about it in the morning."

"Even so, it wasn't right."

"It's nothing."

"It wasn't nothing, Ms. Smith. He was out of line in how you run this place." John insisted and Anna felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise.

"It's none of your business, Mr. Bates."

"I'm not saying it is."

"Then maybe you shouldn't say anything." Anna turned back to the strip of asphalt as a car drove up, Andy getting out of the driver's side and opening the passenger door. "Thank you for helping get Mr. Crawley to his car, Mr. Bates."

"Ms. Smith-" John let out a breath, "Never mind. It was my pleasure."

"Drive safely then." Anna gave a tight smile and walked back inside.

* * *

Anna frowned at the receipts and rubbed at her eyes. "I'm seeing double."

"Maybe we should call it a night then?" Talbot entered something into the iPad on his lap. "It's almost three."

"Definitely passed my bedtime." Anna put her elbows on the desk and rested her head in her hands, "Let's finish this tomorrow."

"Later today you mean?" Talbot smirked as he turned off his device, standing and pulling his coat off the back of the chair.

"Something like that."

"What time?"

Anna let out a breath, "We've got Mrs. Hughes handling the lunch rush so we don't need to be in until one."

"Which means you'll be in by noon," Talbot straightened his jacket, "I'll see you at twelve-thirty."

"I can be in at one."

"You're physically unable to do anything less than your best, boss." Talbot shrugged, "That's not always bad thing."

"Thank you for the backhanded compliment." Anna stood and cracked her back with a groan, "Did you happen to chat at all with Mr. Crawley's guest tonight?"

"I had a conversation with him about his work when I led them up to the Grey Room. Mr. Crawley seemed rather insistent I talk to him about his business."

"Then you know Mr. Crawley wants us to start sourcing from Mr. Bates's alcohol?" Anna watched Talbot but he only shrugged.

"He never mentioned it to me but I guess it makes more sense that he'd insist on the conversation now that I have that context." Talbot stopped, "Is that what he told you?"

Anna nodded, "What'd you think of it?"

Talbot teetered his head back and forth like a seesaw, "Our suppliers now are reliable and dependable. We've built great relationships with them so to suddenly pull our promised order increase feels pretty underhanded."

"Then you'd suggest against investing in another supplier?"

"I didn't say that." Talbot leaned on the back of his chair, "I think we could benefit from building a few new friendships in that business. Based on our recent earnings I'd say expansion is in our future so I'm interested in sourcing our food from a few new places as well."

"If you can get Mrs. Patmore on board then you can do what you like with that." Anna sighed, "Have you heard of Mr. Bates's location?"

"From a few people and I've read a few articles about his work."

"What've you heard?"

"Good things. It's a bit experimental for some but there's a place on the other side of town all bent on innovation that loves him to death."

"Are you talking about Creature with the Hundred Mouths?"

"It's actually Beast with a Thousand Mouths but yeah," Talbot held up his hands, "They only source from the Bubble Room and they talk of nothing else."

"That's annoying." Anna dry-washed her hands, chewing the inside of her cheek.

Talbot folded his arms, "Are you thinking of partnering with him?"

"Mr. Crawley insisted on it while drunk in the Grey Room." Anna clenched her jaw a moment, "His order as owner apparently."

"He's a part owner and not even a controlling part."

"I know and it's-" Anna paused, "It's nothing. I'm letting it get under my skin and it's nothing."

"If you say so." Talbot headed for the door, "Try and sleep yeah?"

"I do sleep."

"I haven't heard of you getting more than four hours a night since you opened this place."

"Who told you that?"

"Tom."

Anna shook her head, "That's the last time I drink at the bar."

Talbot laughed, "See you at twelve-thirty Ms. Smith."

"Good night Henry."

Anna left her desk as it was and grabbed her purse and jacket before locking up her office for the night.

Low lights, all glowing a friendly blue, lit the Cerulean Swan as Anna took the grand stairs down to the main floor. The floor glittered in the light, speckled with shining stones Anna insisted gave the ambiance of a pebbled beach. Her heels clacked on it, echoing back in her ears, and Anna basked in the silence.

These were the moments in the Cerulean Swan she liked the best. The moments when she could stand in the middle of her dream and think of the good times without dwelling on the bad. These times when the music she heard spoke of another era and time while promising a brighter future ahead. And all of it took place in her head with no one to distract her. She could be alone with her wonder here.

Anna left through the back door, pulling it hard to make sure the latch fell and walked to her car. Dawn winked on the horizon, taunting her with its promise of a new morning she would miss like all the others. Driving in the early morning was one of the perks of working late since Anna could take the deserted streets in record times those who endured traffic could only wish to experience.

But her drive ended like all the others before it. She reached her building and waved to the night security guard she only knew by face. Charles? Tony? Or was it Evelyn? Something made her think she had thought it odd when he introduced himself but now he was just a part of her routine. His face was practically a part of the wall decoration, no more significant than the expressionist painting on the wall behind him.

The lift groaned, as it always did when pressed into service so early, and the doors caught a little before opening on her floor. Anna waited the extra second to avoid colliding with the smudged chrome and walked to her door. With an expert turn of the key she had the door opened, herself inside, and the whole thing closed again before anyone could blink.

Anna dropped her purse on the table with her keys, digging her phone from the depths of the bag while shucking off her jacket with one arm. It joined her other coats, neatly hung by color in her hall closet, before Anna flipped the deadbolt on her door. The hallway caught the grey glow from the window at the end of her small hallway so she did not even need a light.

The rack of shoes clinked when she set her high heels down in their place. Anna then padded barefoot over the hardwood floors to her bathroom, plugging her phone in to charge as she went. She pulled her hair out of her face and brushed her teeth before removing the makeup that brightened her eyes and lifted her cheeks.

When she turned back to the mirror, risking a look as she rinsed her face, Anna saw the dark circles edging beneath her eyes. She gripped the sides of the sink and stared at herself. Anna furrowed her brow at the woman staring back at her and for a moment she did not recognize the face there.

"What happened to you? What made you like this?" She whispered. Her reflection did not respond, keeping secrets behind the glass. Anna shook her head and dried her face before flicking the light off to head to bed.

Her pajamas replaced her dress and Anna pulled the covers back on the large bed. It bounced appropriately as she dug herself in. With a sigh Anna leaned her head back on her pillow and reached over to operate the curtains that blocked the rising sun as Anna closed her eyes.


	4. The Bubble Room

Anna winced as the shrill voice at the other end of the phone punctuated her statements with occasional retching sounds in the background.

"Do you hear that?"

"I do, unfortunately." Anna held the phone away from her head as the sound increased in volume.

"He's been doing that since this morning. Three this morning. It's because he drank so much last night."

"Disgusting as it is that's his decision."

"You're supposed to monitor him."

"He's an adult, Cora, and I'm not his babysitter. While I respect you have aversions to his drinking habits it's none of my business."

"It's literally your business Anna."

"This is between you and your husband, Cora, not me."

"You're the one with the alcohol."

"I sell alcohol on the premises, Cora. If he drinks that's on him. I was focused on things other than keeping Robert away from the bottle because, as you said, this is my business. I need to run it and that means I don't bottle-block your husband all night when I have three hundred other guests in a three-hour period to manage. Your husband wasn't my only customer last night." Anna took a few deep breaths, "Why aren't you giving the third degree to Mr. Bates. He was here with Robert last night in the Grey Room. Discuss monitoring with him."

"Oh, I gave him an earful at five this morning when Robert chucked all over my tile floors."

"I bet you did," Anna muttered to herself and closed her eyes, "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Refuse him service next time."

"Cora I don't have the grounds to do that."

"Then tell him I said so."

"Tell him you say so and leave me bloody out of it." Anna waited a beat and heard Cora calming, "Maybe you should think about talking to him about this instead of biting my head off."

"I have and he won't listen."

"Then I can't help you, I'm not a therapist." Anna looked up as the door to her office opened, "Cora I need to hang up, I've got other things going on."

"Fine. Just abandon me to this like you did last night. Just-"

Anna hung up the phone as Talbot took the seat across from her. He pointed to the phone, "Tough conversation?"

"Nothing more than I expect on a Saturday from Mrs. Crawley." Anna folded her hands in front of her on the desk, "What's up?"

"I've had an idea about the Bubble Room?"

"What kind of idea?" Anna narrowed her eyes and Talbot raised his hands in defense.

"Hear me out and don't judge until I'm finished."

"I'm listening. With reservations but I'm listening."

"We can go and see the Bubble Room for ourselves. Test some of the products against ours and even offer a trial run to see how it goes over with our normal weekday crowds before agreeing to any contract."

Anna leaned on the desk, "Go on."

"If it sells well for a week then we try it out on the weekenders. Get a big enough hit we sign a six-month contract with option for renewal but no guarantees." Talbot clapped his hands together, "What do you think?"

"I think I hired an excellent floor manager." Anna sat back in her chair, "But you should probably handle the taste testing."

"Why?"

"I didn't exactly exchange the kindest of words with Mr. Bates last night and I don't think it'd be appreciated if I showed up asking him to do us that kind of favor."

"That's the thing," Talbot shifted his jaw and Anna furrowed her brow, "This was all his idea."

"Excuse me?"

"He called me when I got into the office this morning, after you and I finished the accounting from last night, and proposed it." Talbot held up a hand as Anna went to speak, "I know it sounds like he's backing you into a corner but he actually wanted to avoid putting you in a spot after what happened with Mr. Crawley last night and asked that I mediate this discussion."

"Discussion?"

"That he just wants a trial run. He's not pushing it on you but he'd like us to give him a fair shake if we can manage it. He'll even do it on a week-by-week order without contract."

Anna folded her arms over her chest and scrunched up her nose a moment, "He's willing to let us test him without a contract?"

"He won't even take a PO on the first week, his words."

Anna scoffed, "He's that confident in his product?"

Talbot shrugged, "Everything I've heard is good."

Anna let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, I'll test it."

"Good," Talbot stood, "He's waiting at the Bubble Room right now."

"Now?"

"You don't have any appointments and Mrs. Hughes is managing the lunch rush so I'd say you're good until four. If you're late I'll manage."

"Sometimes I detest that you're so good at your job." Anna grabbed her jacket, "It's annoying."

"It's a gift." Talbot held the door open for her, "Don't forget, this is his olive branch."

"This is his something but I doubt it's an olive branch."

"Barley stalk?"

Anna threw a scowl at Talbot before taking the back stairs.

* * *

Anna pulled into the parking spot and turned off the engine. She leaned over the steering wheel to see the top of the building that looked like a converted farmhouse with connected out buildings. The whole thing felt far too quiet for a brewery and Anna shook her head at it.

"Not what I expected."

She walked up the little path to the front door and went to knock but the door opened before she could bring her fists to wood. An old woman stood there, looking Anna up and down, before shaking her head, "You're too young to run your own business."

"Age isn't any indicator of ability." Anna crossed her arms over her chest, "And it'd be just as rude for me to assume that you're too old for whatever it is you do here."

The woman laughed, "I live here."

Anna sucked the inside of her cheek, "Perhaps the rule still applies."

"I can see why you run your own business. Mouth like that you couldn't possibly work for anyone else." The woman stepped back from the door, "I'm Mrs. Bates, please come in."

Anna crossed the threshold, shaking the woman's offered hand, "Anna Smith but I was under the impression Mr. Bates was divorced."

"He is. That's Mrs. Bates the evil. I'm Mrs. Bates the older."

"Pleasure," Anna released Mrs. Bates's hand to nod at the stonework and wooden décor, "Decorate this yourself?"

"No, that'd be Johnny's doing." Mrs. Bates closed the door before guiding Anna down a hallway and up a set of stairs to an office, "He's very protective of this place."

"It is beautiful." Anna took a seat as Mrs. Bates dug around on the other side of the desk, "Not what I expected but in a pleasant surprise kind of way."

"Dear," Mrs. Bates held out a container of cookies to Anna but she waved them away, "There are very few pleasant surprises."

"Maybe you just haven't had enough."

Mrs. Bates chuckled again, shaking her finger at Anna, "You're sharp."

"It's how I can be so young and run my own business."

"It's how you got Johnny to suggest something borderline insane." Mrs. Bates looked up and Anna turned in the chair to see John at the door. "Speak of the devil."

"You haven't been frightening our guest have you mother?" John kissed his mother on the cheek as she moved to the other side of the desk.

"I doubt that woman gets frightened by anything." Mrs. Bates nodded at Anna, "Don't go easy on him. He needs someone difficult."

"I'm sure I'll manage just fine."

Anna smiled to herself as Mrs. Bates left, closing the door behind her. Taking a breath Anna faced John across the desk. She swallowed, to clear her throat, and spoke first, "I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night. You were trying to be kind and I snubbed your attempts. That was rude and unprofessional of me."

"You were protecting something private and I respect that." John lifted his hands, palms up, from the desk, "No harm done."

"But I think there might've been and I wanted to clarify that it's not that I'm not interested in the possibility of working with your brewery or that I think Robert made a mistake in suggesting such a venture"

"But?"

"But, to make a long story very short, Robert has a bad habit of trying to make changes to my business that have led to a few disasters in the past I only managed to handle at great cost when I avoided inevitable disaster."

"Making you a little hesitant?"

"Leery would be my word of choice but yes, I'm hesitant to take his advice since so many end up going down in flames."

"Which is why you weren't too eager to jump into bed with me?" Anna snorted as John's faced reddened, "I didn't mean to suggest-"

"Mr. Bates," Anna waved her hand, "I know what you meant and no, in keeping with your metaphor, I wasn't eager."

"Then what brought you here today?"

"Your olive branch."

"It was more of a grape vine."

"I know," Anna nodded her head, "Whatever it was, I found it a kind gesture in response to the rude way I treated you and it deserved at least a face-to-face meeting on your territory for me to at least acknowledge that."

"Then I'm flattered you came all this way just to thank me for my time." John furrowed his brow, "I do have to say I'm a little confused you didn't just refuse my offer with a phone call."

"Who said I was refusing?" Anna crossed her legs, "I'm here to hear more about your proposal Mr. Bates."

"You're interested?"

"I wouldn't have driven all the way out here if I weren't."

John gaped a moment but quickly regained his composure, "Well, then I guess the first thing I can do is show you what I've got to offer."

Anna giggled and John reddened, "I didn't mean anything presumptuous-"

"Mr. Bates," Anna stood, "If I thought you were being presumptuous I would've just left but, as I hope yesterday proved when I wasn't being horrible to you, I enjoy a little innuendo."

"So do I." He laughed, though Anna still heard the twinge of nervousness at the edge of his voice, "Then I guess we could start at the beginning."

Anna followed John to a door at the back of the upstairs office. He opened it and stepped to the side as she walked onto the wooden bridge that connected the converted farmhouse to the outbuildings. She waited as he shut the door and took the lead again.

"To begin, The Bubble Room works predominately in champagnes." John pointed to the far side of the building as they walked over the activity below. "We age all of our alcohol here."

"Do you ship your raw materials in or as part of a premix?" Anna leaned over the railing to watch someone pour a load of hops into a masher.

"Depends," John pointed to a corner, "We import Spanish materials for a version of champagne for those with a lighter palate and then I work with two vineyards in Bordeaux and one in the actual Champagne region."

"None from California?"

John cringed, "I tries out a temporary contract last year but the fermentation made air shipping expensive because of liquid weight and the variability, even with refined refrigeration, in shipping made the whole thing untenable." He shrugged, "If I ever open a Bubble Room in the States I might think about pursuing those relationships again. They were a good company it's just-"

"Logistics are against you," Anna sighed, "I know a thing or two about that."

"Nature of the beast I guess." John motioned her forward and they crossed into the next building. "This is our fermentation process."

Anna studied the large vats as they emptied into barrels or drums before an automated system carried them down elevators to holding beneath the floor. She pointed to one and John came to her side. "Is your rotation system automated as well?"

"This process is. I have a man, Henry Laing, he designed the system to rotate everything based on location temperature, the kind of alcohol we want, and the taste we're going for." John smiled, "Got the idea after watching a documentary on Jack Daniels brewing actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah," John pointed, "Those are our Scotchs and Irish whiskeys. They'll be stored in our oak barrels and then rotated from the top of our large warehouse, which is really just a converted barn, to the basement and back up for five years before we crack the lid open again to see what's inside."

"I'll bet you get a nice amber color to yours." Anna folded her arms on the railing, "Does the barn construction help?"

"It does temperature wise. The expansion of the barrel in correlation with the seasons impacts how the whiskey ferments in the barrel and how much of the oak taste comes out with the color." John pointed ahead, "Bottling's this way."

They walked into the next building and Anna watched the automated system tap barrels and pop drums to drain the contents through a series of machines before bottling them. Each line worked with different sized bottles and fill rates, all overseen by workers who turned all the bottles the same direction or made sure nothing was cracked or carrying floating materials before the lids sealed and the labeled marked everything.

Anna motioned for John, "Between draining and filling what kind of inspections do you do?"

"Colorimetric measurements first. Then a sugar test, viscosity, and an x-ray to make sure anything large gets found and removed."

"You've got a metal detector?"

"That last one there," John pointed, "And another camera our genius, Laing, programed to detect anything not moving like liquid. It's caught glass and small plastics before."

"What about quality control?"

"We've got a team that tests one in every ten on a lot."

"How'd you decide?"

"Each bottle is imprinted with a serial number and the computer does a random selection."

Anna smiled, "Your automated system removes the identified bottles from the line and takes them to your QA lab?"

"Makes sure no one tries to sneak any away." John smirked, "Our poor sensory testers all have drivers because they sometimes go home more than a little buzzed and I don't want any wrecks on the road."

"I hope they have good livers."

"I only hire for a six month cycle for sensory to prevent cirrhosis." John pointed to the last building. "And this is shipping."

"All trucked?" Anna saw the line of lorries all marked with the three smaller bubbles to the upper right of a large pink bubble that carried the words 'The Bubble Room' in a white, cursive script.

"Shipped everyday but that depends on who bought what and how their orders stand." John noted the office, "It's all handled through the shipping office and works independently of the receiving office."

"That all goes through you I imagine?"

"No, my mother handles the shipping and receiving and acts as our accountant while our normal one finishes his paternity leave." John waved at Anna to follow him back over the walkway. "I handle all orders personally. Every order for supplies or materials comes through my office and I balance it with the requests and contracts we owe those who buy from us."

"I know you work with the Beast with a Thousand Mouths," Anna stopped, as John opened the door to his office again, "But what other businesses hold contracts with you?"

"Worried about competition."

"I want to judge your local popularity." Anna paused, "Unless you're contractually obligated not to tell me."

"Nothing like that." John held up a hand, counting on his fingers, "A few local restaurants invest in our wine collection because we taste comparatively with more expensive vintages while some of the clubs in your district like our champagnes and our beers. I have a few pubs in Dublin and Belfast that only buy our whiskey but that's because I have relationships with the barmen personally and they like me better."

"Relationships are everything in our business Mr. Bates." Anna retook her seat, "Which is why I didn't want to leave ours on the wrong foot."

"And I'm glad you didn't." John sat and propped his elbows on his desk, putting his fingers together, "In that spirit I have to ask, and I know it's none of my business so feel free to tell me to get stuffed or whatever if you think I crossed the line here, what got under your skin about Robert's proposal the other night?"

Anna tried to shrug, "Like I said, it wasn't the proposal but that Robert seemed to force it on me. I don't like being forced into anything, especially a business venture that could hurt my employees or my credibility."

"Is there more to it than that?" John held up his hands, "Again, if you think I overstepped the mark then-"

"I think, given the possibility that you and I could be working very closely together, it's only fair." Anna focused on a point in the corner, "Robert made me a promise when he first helped me finance the Cerulean Swan and I've found he tends to break it more than keep it."

"But you feel indebted and so you're forced to accept it?"

"Full marks Mr. Bates. It was a promise made by word of mouth and not a contract so technically I'm only bound by personal pride and an overdeveloped sense of honor more than anything else."

"What kind of promise?"

"When I wanted to open the Cerulean I didn't have enough money but Mary and I'd been friends since Uni. She knew what I could do and convinced her father that unlike his other harebrained schemes this would actually pay off. He took her at her word and matched my money to buy the premises but it was all by mouth. We didn't get a contract until Mary met her husband, Matthew, who drew up the papers later when he realized we needed an actual legal document."

"Good on Matthew."

"I thank that man every time I see him." Anna smiled, "Mostly for marrying Mary because otherwise she'd be insufferable."

John laughed, "From personal experience I can attest that's true."

"Anyway," Anna shook her head, "We'd already gotten into a bad habit by that point because while Robert promised me, when I tried to pay him back the money as soon as we broke even, that he only wanted a passing interest in the venture it's more than that. I'm one of the only successes he's ever had and he puts his own stranglehold on it."

"Keeps the power, as it were?"

"You could say that." Anna put a hand out, "And I don't want you thinking I bear him any ill will because I don't. I owe Robert my entire livelihood."

"Hence your problem?"

"Yes. He insists on periodic advice I don't really need and once had me hire two people on recommendation from Cora were not only stole from my club and treated the patrons poorly but were also lazy and late all the time. When I sacked them for being shit at their jobs Robert and I had a row that rocked the Grey Room." Anna took a deep breath, "He also insisted on the contract with Green because the deal they had went tits up and Robert wanted to recoup his losses in the free drinks he gets at the Cerulean."

"Not the best idea."

"Next time he's off after two unless he sneaks in his own flask." Anna shook her head, "When he tries to take control he thinks he has a clue what he's doing and he doesn't. His advice, on the whole, is disastrous, and his only real contribution is money."

"The worst part is Robert knows that and tries to delude himself into thinking otherwise."

"You sound personally experienced in that fact Mr. Bates."

John worked his mouth to a smile but it only pulled sideways without reaching his eyes, "I've known Robert a long time.

"And what's your opinion on it?"

John blew out a rush of air as if overwhelmed with a possibility of answers, "When Robert says he gives you free rein with the money what he really means is for you to do the heavy lifting and for him to step in when he likes. It makes you wonder if he really trusts you at all."

"Exactly." Anna closed her eyes a moment, "Sometimes it feels like I made a deal with the devil and didn't even realize."

"It's what brought down the Bubblery."

"The what?" Anna tried to suppress a laugh as John shushed her.

"The first incarnation of the Bubble Room was called the Bubblery. Robert and I went in on it together but I soon realized he had zero business acumen. He was always about the get-rich-quick schemes and focused on how he could double his money in a heartbeat of speculation." John chewed on his lip, "What I didn't realize was he was betting against future profits so the minute we made a quid we already owed five on it."

"Exhausting."

"Debilitating." John waved his hand in the air, "We only survived because Cora bailed us out but even then we barely covered our debts. It took me ten years to rebuild to the point where people trust my business again."

"Well, in your favor is that before yesterday I didn't even know you existed so I can't hold any past failures against you." Anna suggested and noticed a real smile sneak onto John's face. "I guess the biggest problem with Robert is that he's not malicious about it. He's just not good at what he does."

"As they say, a lot of passion without skill is just enthusiasm and unfortunately enthusiasm does nothing for you when you need money to buy food so you can eat." John interlaced his fingers on the desk, "Which brings me to our business proposal."

"You're willing to a six month trial period with no guarantee of further contract?"

"The conversation I had with Mr. Talbor earlier this afternoon said I'd give you a week and a weekend free." John pulled a page from a drawer and passed it over so Anna could read it. "I'll supply in the amounts matching what you just ended with Green and you can test it on your crowds for yourself."

"And you're in capacity, physically and financially, to give us that much sample?"

"I'm a well-enough off-"

"That's not what I implied, Mr. Bates." Anna finished reading the form to look John in the eye. "I'm worried about contracts being met. The problem with Green was not only could he not keep up with demand but also because his drinks were terrible and cost me a great deal of money. I won't make that mistake again."

"And that's why you came out here yourself?"

"Mr. Talbot thought I should also try your selection but I don't drink and drive and since I have a busy night ahead of me I thought it best to abstain for now." Anna took a pen from the cup on John's desk. She held it over the contract, "If you think you can hold up to a week, Mr. Bates, I'll sign right now."

"You trust me that much?"

"I like what I've seen of your operation here and if Mr. Talbot's only heard good things I don't think the bad are anything worth listening to." Anna touched the pen to paper, "Can you do it, Mr. Bates?"

"On one condition." Anna raised an eyebrow and John leaned forward on the desk, "Allow me to take you to the Beast with a Thousand Mouths."

"You're holding a date with me as leverage for a business transaction?"

"If you want to call it that I won't stop you but I want you to taste my work in action and it's a neutral location." John held out a hand, "Think of it as a business inspection."

"I don't usually share dinner for two as business inspection."

"Alcohol, unless it's being used to bury sorrows and pains, is never to be consumed on an empty stomach or alone." John grinned but Anna caught a hint of something in his eyes. "Tomorrow night?"

"Sundays are usually less busy," Anna pursed her lips before nodding. She signed the contract and passed it over the desk to John, "Tomorrow night then and I expect your first delivery no later than noon on Monday."

"It's a deal Ms. Smith."

Anna took his hand, "Yes it is Mr. Bates."


	5. Belly of the Beast

Anna checked herself in the mirror one last time before she heard a groan behind her. She turned, frowning, "If all you're going to do is make sounds then why did I even invite you?"

"To drink your wine." Mary held up the glass, "And I'm making non-verbal commentary because you refused my verbal commentary ten minutes ago."

"You looked in my closet and suggested shopping." Anna lifted two pairs of high heels, "Which one?"

"How about neither?"

"I don't have time for this Mary." Anna heard the doorbell ring and dangled the heels, "Which one?"

"The blue ones," Mary got off Anna's bed, "I'll answer it for you. Give you a minute to stop looking like a deer in headlights."

Anna struggled into the heels, almost tripping into the bathroom as she checked her hair and makeup one last time. She gripped the edges of the sink and took a deep breath, "It's fine. It's just business."

"If that were true you wouldn't be giving yourself a pep talk after an hour of debating dresses." Mary hissed at her from the door, "And he's in your kitchen."

"Why's he in the kitchen?"

"I offered him a drink and he just wanted to see your collection," Mary shrugged, "Not the way I impress my dates but everyone dates differently."

"It's not a date."

"He's not dressed for business." Mary warned as Anna rounded the corner out of the bathroom and saw John in her kitchen, examining her wine bottle.

He wore a black suit, a matching black tie, and a navy blue shirt. Anna glanced back at Mary who nodded and Anna wished her friend could be less right. She straightened her shoulders and walked over to the counter.

"Will you play barman this evening?"

John glanced over at her and stopped. His jaw opened a little and he had to clear his throat before answering. "In a manner of speaking, yes."

"Not here I hope." Anna took her wrap from Mary, "I know my collection and since I own nothing with your name on it that'd defeat the purpose of the evening."

"You don't have any of my product _yet_ Ms. Smith."

"You're very sure of yourself John." Mary leaned on the counter, "I don't remember your alcohol being very memorable."

"That was the Bubblery, Mary, and when you drank there you were so skunked I'm surprised you even remember trying it. You could hardly taste by that point and Matthew had to roll you out of the building."

Mary scowled, "It was my birthday."

"Yes it was." John came around the counter toward Anna, "Shall we?"

"Yes we shall." Anna grabbed her clutch, "Lock the door on your way out please Mary?"

"I live to serve." Mary came to the door as Anna went to close it, "Just remember, you said this was a business meeting."

"It is."

"Not with the way you two dressed."

"It's not a date," Anna hissed, "This is business."

"Keeping telling yourself that." Mary shut the door and Anna joined John in the hallway.

"You've been friends with her how long?"

"Since Uni. We met when Mary was singing in a band in Leeds." Anna felt her skin prickle at the memory, "She doesn't talk about those days much."

"I thought it was secondary school no one like talking about."

"Well Uni wasn't really the best time in either of our lives." Anna shifted on her feet, "Life got better for us after that."

"How so?"

"I opened the Cerulean and Mary landed her singing career. That's how it all took off." Anna entered the elevator and forced herself not to look at John. "Life starts when you stop looking to the past."

"I'll say."

They rode down to the lobby and John held the doors open for her as they exited. Anna pulled her wrap around her shivering a little, "I keep forgetting it's fall weather."

"Do you need a jacket?" John jerked his thumb back toward her building, "I can wait if you need to grab one."

"No," Anna shook her head, "It'll just be one more thing to carry around and I hate restaurant coatrooms. I always end up with cat hair all over my coat."

"And you don't own a cat."

"I don't like the idea of pets in my house." Anna turned to John, "Shall we take yours or mine?"

"Well if we take yours then I don't get to show off my car." John lifted his arm, "This way madam."

"I don't know if I like feeling that old by the application of that term."

"Old?" John waved a hand, "Nonsense. It's a term of respect. Besides, you're younger than me."

"In the end it's a feeling if eighty-year-old men can run marathons and thirty-year-old fathers feel like they're an inch from the grave. Age is relative Mr. Bates."

"That's never more true than when Robert drinks like he's twenty."

"And then vomits the next day like he's a twelve-year-old who broke into his father's liquor cabinet." Anna stopped, "This is your car?"

"Like it?" John opened her door and Anna laughed.

"I thought you'd have something with too much horsepower and flames along the side." Anna climbed into the car and John shut the door. "You know, to match your bachelor status."

"No." John slid into his seat, "I believe in class and comfort."

"So you buy a Japanese car?"

"These have the best resale value."

"I guess I never really buy my cars with that agenda in mind." Anna settled into the seat, "To each their own."

John drove them to the restaurant and opened the door before the valet could do it, handing him the keys instead. "Thanks mate."

Anna took John's hand, "Why not buy a nicer car?"

"How do you mean, nicer?" John pouted, "Maggie here is a great car."

"You named it Maggie?"

"Something wrong with naming her for one of the greatest British thespians this side of the 1960's?"

"No," Anna shook her head, "I just assumed she'd be a little more temperamental if you named her that. Or, at the very least your car'd be a little more expensive."

"Well, if I'd seen this date in my future when I bought this car I'd claim I did it so you couldn't take the mickey out of me for spending so much on a car with a large engine and too much horsepower."

"Why?"

"Because I find men who do that feel very insecure about their manhood." John smiled at the doorman.

"And you don't?"

"No, it's not a worry I've ever had. I named her Maggie after all." John went to the hostess podium, "Hello, John Bates party of two."

"Right this way Mr. Bates. Mr. Blake already readied your table and has a selection available for you."

"Please thank Mr. Blake and tell him we'll have two glasses of all the drink menu options."

"I thought you didn't drink?" Anna joined John as they followed the girl to a side table set away from the others already dining. "And two of everything on the wine list seems a bit excessive. I'd usually suggest going slow when you're easing back into alcohol from a life of sobriety."

"These are all tasting sample sizes." John pulled out Anna's chair, "Mr. Blake already knows that since I only ever come to his establishment to ply potential clients with my best."

"I see," Anna sat down and waited for John to take the other seat, "The ambiance tends to lend better to assuring them of your capabilities?"

"Atmosphere is an underutilized component of food." John turned to the dark haired man approaching the table, "Charles, it's good to see you."

"And you, Mr. Bates." They shook and Charles took Anna's hand, "Pleasure to finally meet you Ms. Smith."

"You know me?"

"I'm aware of all possible competition to our establishment and I have to say," He kissed her hand, "It's a pleasure to do battle with a venue as fine as yours."

"In the spirit of things thank you, for the compliment. My assistant manager's told me nothing but good things about your establishment as well, Mr. Blake," Anna waited for Blake to finish kissing her hand, "He told me you doing a smashing business though I admit to never having set foot through your doors before now."

"There's a first time for everything and a great deal of our success lies heavily on the wonderful partnership we share with Mr. Bates."

"Oh," Anna stared at John as she spoke to Charles, "I thought people came here to eat."

"It's a lot easier to get people to eat here with Mr. Bates vintages at our disposal, I won't lie." Blake smiled as a waiter approached, pushing a cart laden with glasses of liquid. "Two samples of everything we carry, as requested, and I already put an order in with the kitchen for appetizers. You never want to drink on an empty stomach."

"Definitely not." Anna waited as another waiter removed all the superfluous items from their table and arranged the glasses in serving order. "It looks to be quite the evening."

"Just what you'd expect from the Beast with a Thousand Mouths," Blake nodded his head at them, "Have a lovely evening."

"Thank you," Anna reached for the champagne glass first and turned to John as Blake left, "I'll have to remember the order. I haven't had to diversify my alcohol in some time."

"What's your drink of choice?"

"Wine, at home, like any lonely woman approaching her thirties drinks I guess." Anna picked up each glass individually, holding them up to the light to examine the contents. "I never drink at the Cerulean unless it's after hours and Talbot and I need to drown our sorrows."

"You're close then?"

"Who?"

"Mr. Talbot and yourself?"

"It's the nature of the work we do. You put out enough fires and solve one too many last minute crises and you develop a close relationship." Anna went to sip the champagne but saw John's face. She grinned at him over the top of the flute, "We're business associates, Mr. Bates, not romantically entangled."

"I didn't mean to assume-"

"It's alright," Anna set down her glass, swallowing and contemplating the smoothness of the liquid in her mouth, "We spend a lot of time together and we've developed a shorthand most couples don't have. It can be deceptive."

"Then you don't have anyone in your life?"

Anna stopped herself from a second sip, "Are you trying to ask if I've dating anyone?"

"In my own, roundabout and slightly flawed way I think I am." John smiled back at her, "Are you dating anyone?"

"No," Anna took a second sip, swishing it in her mouth before nodding, "That's a lovely flavor. I like the fruity aftertaste but it's more tart than I expect. What did you use?"

"It's fermented in a mixed berry blend. Mostly raspberries and blueberries to keep a hint of tartness and not wash out the alcohol sugars with too much fruit."

"Good choice." Anna put the glass down and picked up the next, "But back to your question, it's hard to date when you run a business that works in the hours most people use for their romantic meetings. Optimal business hours aren't conducive to building a relationship."

"But not impossible."

"One would think but men my age don't tend toward the flexible and most are intimidated that I run my own business because they're still paying off student debt or playing videos games into the small hours."

"I would've thought dating the owner of a nice restaurant and night club would be appealing."

"They like the cool factor of what I do and how it gets me into interesting places but then they just want to party and they don't realize that there's a work component to it. They also drink all the free booze and try to hit on me when they're pissed out of their minds to the point they pass out before they even get down the hall."

"Disappointing."

"Usually." Anna sighed, "Even when they can get it up most of them are all about themselves. For all the bad sex I've had I think I can count on one hand the times I've actually enjoyed it."

John choked slightly on his drink, "Only five?"

"I might not even go that high." Anna shrugged, "They like the coolness of what I do, they like how it looks to their friends, but then they can't stand the long hours or how I never spend time with them."

"Back to the selfishness?"

"It's all about them. All the time, everywhere, and heaven forbid I even dare to think about making them look bad by doing my job." Anna shook her head, "I don't have time for boys."

"Nor should you." John sipped the third glass in his line and made a face, "I think that's a little too minty."

"How often do they rotate and stir?"

"Depends on the request. I suggest, on purchase, rotating once every three months and stirring at opening and closing. I also recommend letting them breathe but in rushed situations the finer points of dining get lost."

"It's a shame no one eats to enjoy eating anymore." Anna pointed to the fourth glass, "I like that."

"People don't drink to appreciate either." John leaned over the table to see her glass, "That's a nice red we developed last year."

"People at the Cerulean, when they drink more than two, drink to get wasted and wash away all their problems."

"This may be a personal question, Ms. Smith," John folded his hands, "But do you ever drink to get wasted?"

"No," Anna replaced the fifth glass without drinking, "My trip to oblivion was usually by way of cocaine."

She took a sip of the fifth one and shrugged, "Not bad."

Anna looked over the table and saw John's face. His mouth was halfway open like there were words just piling up but if he opened too far they would all spill out and he could never recover them. She sat back, putting her hands on the table.

"If there's something you'd like to say, Mr. Bates, I suggest you say it before your jaw cracks under the weight of everything you want to say right now but won't."

"I'm not sure where to start."

"You can start where my mother did." Anna cleared her throat to attempt her best impression of her mother, "How'd you ever get yourself into such a mess?"

"I wouldn't have used those words but we can start there if you like." John held up a hand, "But only if you're comfortable because it's really none of my business and I-"

"Mr. Bates," Anna put her hand on the table between them, "I wouldn't have mentioned it if I wasn't going to say something about it. I'm not a show about to go to commercial break trying to keep you hanging on."

"Then how'd you get into cocaine?"

"The way anyone does I guess. I met this boy at Uni who I thought was Adonis with surfer hair. We went to a party and he told me to try some." Anna ran her finger along the edge of a glass, the ring adding background noise to their conversation. "I've always had refined tastes and I liked cocaine. We broke up a short time after that but I was already hooked. Mostly because I could still function and it was like living on a level above everyone else."

"High functioning?"

"You wouldn't believe what I did high." Anna tested the second to last drink while looking into the distance, "There was a time I drove the M1 from London to Leeds and back absolutely lit."

"What got you off then?"

"One night I was at a party and I'd just finished a line in the bathroom, just to make the lights glow a little brighter you know. I was there to hear this new band and wandered too close to one of the speakers. I tripped on some wires and barely caught myself. I accidently bumped into some bloke and spilled his drink all over his shirt."

"Happens."

"So I thought but then he grabbed me. I tried to fight him off but between the noise and the drugs and my drinks I wasn't myself. He dragged me to the alley and attacked me." Anna took a deep breath, "My head hit the wall and my mind cleared a bit but by then he had a hand up my skirt and I couldn't fight him off. I was too disoriented to do anything."

She fingered the stem of her last glass, "It was like I wasn't even myself. Between everything I'd taken and what happened by that point I couldn't even tell it was happening to me because it didn't feel like it was. I didn't feel anything so it was like an out of body experience. I was floating above it all. "

A hand covered hers and Anna looked up at John's face. " Do you need a minute?"

"No," Anna took her hand back, "Mary found me outside the club. That's how we met because she was filling in for the band since their singer was vomiting in the bathroom. She's the one who got a good look at the guy and reported the whole thing to the police."

"I never thought I'd say this in my life, but thank goodness for Mary Crawley." John smiled but Anna didn't return it. "I hope he rotted in prison."

"It never went to trial. He and his family's expensive solicitor encouraged me to settle out of court to 'save us the trouble' and gave me money." Anna gave a half laugh but even she could taste the bitterness, "They still pay me. Every year."

"What'd you do with the money?"

"How'd you think I bought the Cerulean?"

"Why the Cerulean?"

Anna sat back in her chair, "It was this wonderful jazz club in the twenties and a nightclub in the thirties. They had it open all the way through the war just to lose it when they knocked down another building in the sixties. Bad foundations or something so they closed it up but since it was a historical site they couldn't tear it down but the city didn't have the money to refurbish so it just sat there, empty for years. I remember seeing once as a child and my mind exploded with all the possibilities for it. I always wanted to build it up again and once I paid off my education I used the money from my settlement to put the down payment on it."

"Then you needed Robert to put in for the refurbishment?"

Anna nodded, "Mary convinced him while I was in rehab."

"Again, thank goodness for Mary."

"She's definitely a character. Selfish and caustic to almost everyone but never to me. She's the most loyal person I've ever met with the most creative mind and biggest heart, though you wouldn't know to look at her. She was the only one who visited me when I was getting clean."

"Your mother didn't?"

"My mother?" Anna scoffed, "My mother chose my stepfather's version of events when I accused him of abusing me as a child. She thought I was acting out after my father died. Even when I plunged a steak knife into his thigh for trying to touch me she thought I was unstable and sent me away."

Anna snorted, "He thinks about me every time it rains."

"Then your mother-"

"Cut me off. She thought I shamed the family with my little scuffle with the law and then my stint in rehab didn't help. My stepfather only reared his head long enough to say he always knew I'd amount to nothing…" Anna went back to her fourth glass and drained the contents. "I prove them wrong everyday."

"By working yourself to the bone?"

"That's right." Anna puffed out her chest, "I came, I saw, I conquered."

"But you still feel like you owe everything to the Crawley family?"

"I do, in a way." Anna stared at the tabletop, "Mary found me, backed my story, and paid for my solicitor. That's how I got a good deal in the first place. Then her father helped pay for the Cerulean, still occasionally invests in it, and he arranged for us to meet."

"Hard to feel self-satisfied if you feel like all your success came on the back of someone else." John sucked the inside of his cheek, "Robert saved me the way Mary saved you so I might have a tiny idea of how you feel."

"Oh?" Anna waited for the waiter, who left a tray of appetizers between them, to leave before grabbing a piece of cheese and a bread sample. "You mean you have this twinge of guilt every time you think about how you hate that no matter how much you do, you know your business was built on blood money and pity?"

"Something like that." John heaved in a breath, "Remember how I said my first business with Robert went under?"

"The Bubblery?"

"Yes." John chewed the inside of his cheek, "I ran that business while trying to escape my marriage."

"I thought you divorced?"

"After the Bubblery went under my ex-wife added insult to injury and confessed she'd been sleeping with someone behind my back." John shook his head, "I wasn't overly surprised but there was a measure of shock to it."

"That you hadn't seen it?"

"That I hadn't seen it coming. We'd had problems almost from the moment we married."

"How so?" Anna stopped herself, "Actually that's none of my business."

"Ms. Smith," John stared at her until she stared back, "You've been very honest with me and I'd feel very unchivalrous if I couldn't return the favor.

"More than that," John took a tomato and cheese covered crust, "It feels good to tell someone your sins since I don't go to confession anymore."

"It does." Anna held out her hand, "Please continue if you want."

"Well," John chewed, "We married in a drunken rush because we were young and stupid. For a few years we were rocky but tried to make it work by burying our problems in fun times fueled by alcohol and sex. Then, when I first started the Bubblery, the problems got worse. We were at one another's throats about money, bills, and work."

"The things that tear people apart."

"Robert gave me the money to start the business so he helped pay for my temporary escape. But my marriage got worse when I started drinking. I tried to tell myself it was for my business but when you get blackout drunk then you're just downing drink to drown your pains. Drinking to get wasted, as I think you said." John twirled the stem of his nearest glass, "Alcoholism was the way I filled the cracks in our marriage. That and sex."

"You still had sex?"

"By that point we realized that was all we ever had. We used it to solve arguments, fights, and even our pains." John hung his head, "I'm not proud to say it got violent near the end."

"How violent?"

"I never laid a hand on her, if that's what you think."

"I wouldn't assume-"

"I don't mind," John smiled but it just pulled at Anna's heart. "I finally recognized we had a problem when I woke up covered in bruises after a night I barely remembered. I started working more and only spending brief hours at home. When she finally confessed to her affair, when the Bubblery went under, I filed for divorce the same day. She wasn't too happy about it but she knew it'd been over for awhile and her lover wanted to get them moving toward marriage."

"Is she happy now?"

"They divorced last year." John shrugged, "I never wished her ill but I can't say I'm surprised."

"Those who cheat for you are bound to cheat on you." Anna sat in silence a moment, "I guess we're both broken in our own ways."

"Isn't everyone?"

They finished in silence and John drove Anna back to her building. He walked her to her door and Anna turned to him outside it.

"Thank you for the evening Mr. Bates."

"Really?"

"Well I thought your selection was good and I want-"

"That's not what I meant." John closed his eyes, putting up a hand, "After everything we discussed, after all we know about one another, you still think it was a good evening?"

"As you said, Mr. Bates, confession is good for the soul. I happen to enjoy a bit of catharsis with a stranger."

"But after all you've been through-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Anna held up a hand, "I'm not a victim and I never want you or anyone else to think of me that way. I got through it then and I'm over it now. I don't need your pity."

"Then me telling you I want to find the man who did that to you and break all the bones in his body's an inappropriate response?"

"What happened then happened. Nothing now'll change it." Anna laughed, "I don't need you to take care of me."

"What if I want to?" John stepped forward as Anna raised an eyebrow. "What if I want to take care of you?"

"I can take care of myself."

"Are you?"

Anna folded her arms over her chest, "I'm not weak, Mr. Bates, and I defy anyone to say I am."

"I never said you were weak."

"You just said you wanted to hunt down the man who raped me and break all the bones in his body."

"And?"

Anna gaped, "That's neither your place nor your responsibility."

"I want it to be mine."

"Well I don't. I don't need your help. I didn't need it then and I don't need it now."

"Ms. Smith," John huffed a frustrated sigh, "We can't always take everything on ourselves. We need to give others our pain sometimes, allow them to bear it with us. Having someone to share your pain isn't weakness. Being vulnerable is a strength."

"Well, no one needs to take my pain because I can manage it on my own. And another thing," Anna pointed at John, "I don't know you well enough to give you my pain even if I felt like sharing it. Which I don't, in case anything I just said confused you."

John balled up his fists and then just let out a breath, "Then you should be more honest with yourself."

"How so?"

"You don't live alone because you like it or because the boys you date are too immature for you. You live alone because you're scared to face anyone or anything with what you have to offer. You're afraid they'll leave you like your mother left you. That's the truth and anything less than that is a lie."

Anna slapped him and took a deep breath when she saw the red flare up on John's cheek. "How dare you?"

"How dare I?" John shook his head, "Don't lie to yourself Ms. Smith, it doesn't become you."

Anna fit the key into the lock and turned it to open her door, "I'll have Mr. Talbot send you a PO in the morning."

"Ms. Smith-"

"Goodnight Mr. Bates."


	6. Romantic Bistro

Anna opened her office door and groaned when she saw John sitting in one of the chairs, talking to Talbot. Talbot stood in a hurry and John followed his example but with far more grace and poise. He buttoned his suit coat like he had all the time in the world. Talbot looked between Anna and John for microseconds before and hurrying to the door, "I need to check… something."

"Henry-" Anna called after him but he was out the door and down the hall faster than she could turn and Anna considered herself enough of a professional not to chase him.

"I wouldn't be mad at him. This was my idea." John's voice came to her from the other side of the room and she rolled her eyes.

"That I don't doubt." Anna closed the door and walked toward her desk. "What can I do for you Mr. Bates?"

"Ms. Smith-"

"A drink, perhaps," She put her bag on her desk, tugging her jacket off and placing in on the back of her chair, "Or maybe I can help you into something more comfortable. Like a coma."

John chuckled, "That's good but I'd like to see you try."

"I'm willing." Anna put her hand on the antique phone, "I'd hate to use this on you but I might and I think it'll pack enough of a punch."

"Ms. Smith," John put his hand over hers, forcing the phone back to the desk, "We keep getting off on the wrong foot and I feel we need an honest conversation."

"We had that last night, Mr. Bates, and if I remember correctly it didn't end very well."

"Yes," John rubbed at the cheek she slapped, "I do recall a stinging sensation that I'd rather not have you repeat."

"Then we should leave all further interactions to professional emails and phone calls, not personal appearances in my office first thing in the morning."

"That's the thing," John put a hand on her desk, tapping his fingers and moving his mouth like he was testing out different ways to say what was on his mind, "I think the problem is that our motivations are confused."

"I'm not confused."

"Okay," John looked her in the eye, "Then my motivations are confused and I need to explain myself."

"That might be wise." Anna pointed to the chair, "You should get comfortable because I don't know the next time we have a conversation like this you'll be in that chair. Enjoy it while you can it's expensive and very comfortable."

"Thank you. It's a nice chair." John took his seat, leaning his elbows on his knees as he sat on the edge of the chair, tapping the tips of his fingers together. "I need to confess something to you."

"I'm not a priest."

"No, but you need to hear this." John took a deep breath, "I want to take you on a date."

"What?"

"A date, as in a romantic meeting that usually happens over dinner or some other activity meant to expose two people of relative acquaintanceship to aspects of one another to see if they're compatible."

Anna narrowed her eyes at him, "After I slapped you outside my door you want to take me on a date?"

"Yes."

"Are you smoking crack?"

"I'm completely sober." John clapped his hands together, "My reactions last night were those of a jealous man who wanted to make sure the woman he finds attractive was protected from harm not the actions of a professional seeking a business contract."

"I said I wanted the contract so that wasn't the part that bothered me."

"I know but my other reactions were entirely due to my budding interest in you romantically."

"Am I supposed to find that endearing?"

"No," John shook his head, "It's an explanation of my actions, not an excuse."

"Oh good," Anna used her foot on the ground to twist her chair slightly from side to side, "I was worried we might find ourselves in the middle of a bad romantic comedy for a moment."

"I don't watch them."

"No one really should. They tell the confused audiences unacceptable behaviors are romantic when they're really not." Anna leaned her elbows on her desk, "If I may ask, what exactly about me do you find attractive?"

"Fishing for compliments?"

"No, I need to understand what about the way I've treated you, which hasn't been the best thus far, would give you the impression we should pursue anything close to a romantic relationship."

John sat back in the chair and blew out, "I guess the most attractive part about you is that you fascinate me."

"Museums or science exhibits fascinate people."

"I'm interested in the woman who took a road to ruin but recovered and now runs a successful business." John pointed to Anna's key ring, "I don't see a sobriety chip."

"You don't have one either." Anna crossed her legs in her chair, "And I didn't need one. Rage was my motivator."

"Proving your family wrong?"

"It doesn't hurt when your picture is in the local paper and your restaurant gets a Michelin star. That tends to justify one to stay on the straight and narrow because falling from that great of a height is a fall indeed. I won't give them the satisfaction."

John smiled, "For all your reasoning and posturing, I've seen the way you treat people and I respect it. More than that you apologized to me, to my face, the first time and that takes a particular kind of person. The kind of person who flirted with me at the bar…" He grinned, "And unintentionally flashed me when she became temporary barman to pass me a water."

"Who said it was unintentional?" Anna winked at him and watched John's eyes widen, "It costs me nothing to admit I was interested last night when you mentioned that you didn't need a car to compensate so any anatomical shortcomings."

"I'm not talking about a sexual relationship, Ms. Smith."

"I didn't think you were," Anna leaned toward him, "But I wouldn't mind trying it at least once with you."

"Well," John cleared his throat, "Then I do feel obliged to at least treat you to dinner before I seduce you."

"Seduce me?" Anna raised her eyebrows, "Is that what you've been doing?"

"Usually it works better but I admit, I'm a bit out of practice."

"We all have our flaws." Anna put both of hands on the desk and stood, "In that vein, I do have to apologize for slapping you last night. Regardless of my own emotions it was unacceptable."

"I accept your apology." John stood as well, extending her a hand, "And I've already filled the first order for you week of testing."

"Are you trying to impress me with your professionalism and expediency Mr. Bates?" Anna felt the corner of mouth twitch toward a smile and she suppressed it by sucking her lips into her mouth.

"I might've done." John smiled, releasing her hand. "More to the point, I want to leave the romantic meeting strictly in your hands, Ms. Smith."

"Why?"

"Practice in vulnerability." John checked the buttons on his coat, "I'm a gentleman so you tell me when, where, and how long and it'll be my pleasure to treat you for the evening."

"In my experience the person who proposes the outing pays for the outing." Anna cocked her head to the side, "Doesn't that give me all the power?"

"It's what I think you need for the moment Ms. Smith," John leaned over the desk toward Anna and a slight heat bloomed in her cheeks. "I'm willing to give you all the time you need to prove to yourself that I'm not a boy."

"I think I got that impression the first time I saw you, Mr. Bates." Anna made sure he followed her eyes as she looked down, "And I'm getting a lovely repeat performance."

John did not appear at all embarrassed, like he had in similar situations in the past. "Under different circumstances, Ms. Smith, I'd have a hard time restraining myself from kissing you across this desk right now and perhaps even taking you on top of it."

Anna's eyes widened and for a minute she felt her throat constrict, making breathing difficult. "What's stopping you?"

"I've another meeting in an hour."

"It'd take more than fifteen minutes?"

"Ms. Smith," John put his mouth almost to her ear, "When I do have the honor of pleasuring you, it'll take all night."

Anna shivered and straightened, "I look forward to you making good on that promise."

"As do I." He nodded to her, "Have a wonderful morning Ms. Smith."

He was almost to the door when Anna called out to him, "Tomorrow night. Talbot's taking over management since it's my night off."

John nodded, "Then just tell me where to meet you and where you want to go. I'll be more than ready."

Anna thought a moment, "That little bistro diagonal from the brewery Gillingham's just opened last month. Eight o'clock."

"I'll see you there." John left her office and Anna collapsed in her chair, hauling in deep breaths.

* * *

When Talbot finally felt brave enough to show his head Anna had the air conditioning in her office at full blast and she studied her computer screen. Anna looked up at him as he sat on the edge of the seat. His legs were close together and his hands clasped tightly on his lap. She let him stew another minute before turning to face him.

"Mr. Talbot-"

"I just want to say he ambushed me outside the office and I didn't know what happened last night so I didn't expect you to be upset because he said he just saw you and-"

"Henry!" Anna smiled as Talbot stopped mid sentence, "I'm not angry."

"Are you sure because earlier I was sure I saw my life flash before my eyes."

"What you saw was momentary frustration. However," Anna pushed back from her desk and walked to a filing cabinet, flipping through it to remove a folder and return to her seat, "I find your ingenuity and business sense makes up for your over eagerness in most cases."

"Thank you?"

Anna leaned over the desk, "It's a compliment, Mr. Talbot."

"Then I'm not here for my walking papers?"

"No," Anna opened the folder and turned it toward Talbot, "We've been discussing expansion for the last few months and I wanted you to know I finally put in an offer on that property over in Shoreditch."

"Really?" Talbot pulled the folder toward him, reading over the information. "This is a good deal."

"I know." Anna crossed her legs and rested her hands on her stomach as she leaned back in her chair, "I expect the realtor to give me the papers by Friday and then we start refurbishments."

Talbot flipped a few more papers before looking up at Anna, "What's this in here about me moving there?"

"That's the thing," Anna put her arms on her desk, "I need someone I trust there. I can't manage both the Cerulean and a new place that needs a constant hand to get it off the ground. So I'm promoting you to manager of the Scarlet Swan."

"The Scarlet Swan?"

"I thought we'd just change the logo slightly and keep the brand." Anna opened a desk drawer and pulled out a few more papers, passing them over. "Those are possible blueprints and some logo designs. Close to what we have here but different enough that we're getting a new crowd. You'll choose what you like best once the redesign is done. We want something similar but new… like a reboot."

"No restaurant I see."

"No," Anna shook her head, "We need a nightclub in that area. I figured you could take Ivy and Alfred as kitchen staff to manage the food but nothing on the same level that we do here."

"Then who takes over as floor manager?"

"You'll take Moseley with you, as floor manager and behind the scenes operations to manage your night acts."

Talbot raised an eyebrow, "You trust that man to handle booking our DJs?"

"I've taken care of that." Anna tapped another paper in the folder and Talbot turned to it, "I've signed Gwen Harding as our permanent DJ here with the agreement she'll get someone for the Scarlet. She already suggested a girl named Ethel and we're auditioning her tonight. If she's good we'll keep her for the Scarlet and then Gwen helps us book a few other gigs."

"Who takes floor management here?"

"I'm promoting Mrs. Hughes from lunches to assistant manager. Carson'll stay here as security and then you'll have to find someone for that."

Talbot nodded, scanning the remaining pages, "You've thought of everything."

"Right down to the bi-weekly meetings we'll have." Anna waved a hand at her computer, "I figure we do Tuesday mornings and Friday afternoons to manage the weeks and the weekends. What'd you think?"

Talbot dropped the folder on the desk and collapsed back in his chair a moment before snorting a laugh, "If my mother could see me now."

"I do hope when you say that it's a good thing."

"My mother wanted me to be an MP from Manchester but here I am, managing my own nightclub in Shoreditch."

"We'll have to build it first but yes," Anna pushed back her chair to stand, "That's the general idea."

"I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll take the job and we'll shake on it." Anna extended her hand and Talbot pumped it enthusiastically.

"This'll be a great move for us."

"Expansion comes at a price but we can pay it and be the better for it I think." Anna smiled and released his hand, "Now how are we looking as far as tonight's bookings?"

* * *

Anna parked her car in the bistro carpark and extricated herself in the tight space between her car the John's. She eyed it a moment before shaking her head. There was no line out the door and when she entered she saw John standing to the side in a shirt and vest with a tie but no jacket. Anna risked a moment just standing to stare at him before finally going over to tap him on the shoulder.

He jumped a little but smiled when he saw her, "Glad you made it. I was worried that you might've changed your mind."

"And miss out on someone paying for dinner I don't think so." She smiled at him, "I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Not to long. I was in the area for a meeting anyway."

"Is all your time in London spent in meetings?"

"No," John rolled his shoulders, "Sometimes it's for medical check ups or shopping or-"

"I get it," Anna held up a hand, "Cheeky monkey."

"I'll have you know more than one woman finds my humor attractive."

"I don't count your mother." Anna pulled John's arm, "Unless there's another party of two named Bates I think that's us."

They walked to their table and John pulled Anna's chair out before sitting in his own. Their waitress hurried over and after the pleasantries Anna ordered immediately, John copying her order. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Are you sure you don't want to peruse the menu a little more before you make that decision?"

"I've never been here before so, at the end of the day, it's a gamble no matter what I order isn't it?"

"I guess." Anna thanked the server for the water glass and sipped at it, "I'm still curious why you asked me on a date."

"You don't know?"

"After the way I've treated you I wouldn't ask me out."

"I admit you've been a little more expressive with your range of emotions but I find people are themselves when they let themselves loose."

Anna snorted into her glass, "Don't expect me to dance on a table top or anything."

"Much as I'm sure I might enjoy that I don't expect it." John interlaced his fingers as he put his hands on the tabletop. "I wanted to ask you out because I wanted to see what you look like when you're not protecting your empire or helping sloppy lushes into their cars."

"I'm flirtatious without intent, Mr. Bates." Anna smiled, "Most think I'm a little too intense."

"Really? I find that hard to believe."

"You wouldn't if you saw me work." Anna rested her chin on her hand, "I'm what Talbot calls 'passionate', what Branson calls 'obsessed', and what the two employees I fired earlier this year called a 'hard ass bitch' so I guess you just haven't seen me in action yet."

"Those are words men use to describe women they're afraid will emasculate them by proving male entitlement is a waste of bloody time because women are capable creatures." John took a drink, "Do you know what I saw when I first saw you, Ms. Smith?"

"Caucasian female with blonde hair and a set of lacy knickers?"

"No," John held Anna's gaze, "I saw determination, kindness, humor, compassion, wit, intelligence, and drive."

"All that?"

"Well," John shrugged, smirking slightly, "I also saw a flirty, sexy, passionate woman wearing red underwear but I thought the first list fit the atmosphere of this encounter better."

"Really? Why's that?"

"Because this is a respectable institution."

"Please," Anna waved him off, "You make it sound like I'm a lady."

"You're not?"

"No, and I don't pretend to be." Anna shifted in her chair, no longer feeling comfortable anywhere. "It's the nature of who I am and what I've been."

"Anna," John touched her hand and Anna looked at him, really looked at him. "You're a lady to me and I never knew a finer one."

"Drug addiction and all?"

"I don't believe in loving anyone by halves." John drew back, "Either you accept that everyone's carrying around their own baggage and you offer to help them carry it or you get stuck with your own, alone."

"Afraid of being alone, Mr. Bates?"

"No, not alone. I'm afraid of never finding someone I want to share my baggage." John drew his finger over the white tablecloth, "I'm afraid of never finding someone who wants to share their baggage with me."

"Who wants to bear all that?" Anna waved her hands in the air, "Who wants to share that kind of trouble?"

"It's easier when you've got someone to share it with."

"You think so?"

"I know so." John made a face, "Why else would we make connections or have friends?"

"Desperation?"

"So we're not alone with our baggage." John spread his napkin over his lap, "And please, call me John. Mr. Bates is so formal."

* * *

Their conversation changed to lighter topics as the food arrived. Anna described what studying business management was like while John detailed his time in the army and later vocational training with a beer company in Germany. Unfortunately, for both, John never learned German and Anna hated her major.

They walked to their cars, the carpark mostly empty when they left. Honestly they only left the bistro because the waitress not-so-subtly left the bill on their table and then proceeded to pace around them for twenty minutes until they finally took the hint to leave. John laughed at the position of their cars and offered to move his first so Anna would not strain herself trying to get back into it.

Anna faced John and worried the straps on her purse a moment before looking at him. "This was lovely John."

"I think it's lovely you call me 'John' now." He smiled at her, "But I appreciate the professionalism of my surname in other situations."

"Well we'll see if I remember to call you 'Mr. Bates' on Friday when you bring our weekend supply." Anna shifted her weight on her feet, "I really did enjoy this evening. It's been awhile since someone took me to eat for the sole purpose of talking and eating."

"Mostly business dinners for you?"

"Nature of the beast I guess." Anna paused and noticed John's head moved toward her. "Are you thinking about fulfilling your promise to me tonight… John?"

"No," He shook his head, dipping slightly lower, "I don't believe on taking a woman to bed until I've seduced her properly."

"Properly?"

"Courtship is a serious business. It's not one and done," His voice was a whisper and he paused just shy of her mouth. "It's a slow process that makes both parties equal victim and victor."

"Sounds enticing." Anna slipped a hand to his cheek, "How's it start."

"With a kiss." John put his hand on the back of her neck and seized her lips with his.

Anna was no stranger to kissing. She kissed guys at Uni. Especially in her cocaine days when she kissed strangers by the score. And when she dated as a professional she kissed her dates. She kissed the guys she slept with. She was, by no means, uninitiated in the art of kissing.

But this…. This was above and beyond anything any man had ever given her in her not-so-inconsiderable experience with kissing.

He pulled and sucked, caressed and moved over her with all the finesse of a world-class expert plying their craft. She clung to him for support as her knees went weak. He used his other hand to hold her waist, keeping her upright as he teased his tongue along the line of her lower lip. Anna opened to him and immediately felt this was the right decision.

She inhaled, breathing in the smell of his cologne, of whatever product he used in his hair, and the fabric detergent that washed his clothes. Anna pulled herself closer to him, her hand at his neck and the other she wrapped over his shoulders providing the leverage. The shift brought their chests in line and the friction of the action sent Anna's sensitive skin into overdrive as she could feel the heat from him through at least three layers of clothing.

John broke the kiss slowly. There was no hurry to ending it like there was no hurry in it. He was thorough and complete but not glutton. Anna kept her hold on him until she was sure her legs could support her and noted John did not back away until he was sure too.

"Well," Anna gasped, "That was some kiss."

"I do my best."

"I've no doubts there." Anna took a deep breath, trying to calm her heart as it beat faster than a racehorse. "Now you'll have to take me out again."

"Why's that?"

"Because if you kiss like that, I can only imagine how good sex with you would be." Anna laughed a little but saw John's face stayed serious. "Did I say something wrong?"

"I hope you don't mistake my intentions for this date, Anna."

"How so?"

"I want to date you to get to know you. This isn't some grand plan just to sleep with you."

"Then all your talk about seduction-"

John crowded Anna toward her car and she felt her back bump it slightly. He did not menace or threaten, just stood over her. He moved a hand to hers and brought it to his lips. John kissed it softly, so softly Anna knew if she had not watched it she would never believe it happened.

"I'm dating you Anna to get to know you. I'm dating you to love you. I'm dating you so when the time comes that we both want to have sex it's because we don't want anything or anyone else."

"Seems a little extreme."

"If I wanted to just have sex with you I'd have taken you on the desk in your office yesterday, like I said." John shook his head, "Real love, the kind that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, is deeper than that. It's the meeting of two souls and has depths no one can fathom."

"Are you a secret poet, Mr. Bates?"

John smiled and pulled back slightly, "I read a story once about the Goddess of Love interfering in the love lives of a couple and I thought she had some interesting things to say."

"Like what?"

"The kind of love people can share with one another is unimaginable." John nodded toward the bistro, "What I said in there about the baggage and finding someone to carry it with you means that you find someone to love while carrying it. It lightens the load."

"And you want to love me, Mr. Bates?"

"If you give me the chance, yes Anna I want to love you."

"Are you sure I'm worth loving?"

"Everyone's worth loving." John kissed her again, softly and gently and pulling away far too quickly. "But I think you're the person worth loving to me."

"Then I wish you luck in your seduction, John." Anna smiled at him as he walked over to his car.

"It's all in your hands Anna." John climbed in and pulled his car out enough to allow Anna to leave, waiting until she left before driving off.

The whole way home Anna could not get the kiss on her hands or the kisses on her lips out of her mind.


	7. Gall of Bitterness

Anna stopped in the doorway of her office and pursed her lips at the sight of a vase holding two roses in it. Leaving the door to swing closed she stalked her way toward her desk, dropping her bag and jacket in a chair as she leaned on her palms to study the display. The vase was simple, cerulean, and etched with a lovely swimming swan. The flowers themselves were only halfway to bloom.

She smiled to herself when she saw they still had thorns.

As Anna looked down she noted a card tucked under the vase. She tipped it carefully to look at the simple paper with a pressed circle trailing three smaller circles in the top right. Flipping the card open she nodded her approval.

 _Roses are only beautiful because they bear thorns._

 _The gentle and the determined will brave them for such a reward._

"Will you now Mr. Bates?" Anna folded the card up and shrugged, "Might be worth my time to see you try."

As she grabbed her bag and went back around her desk the door banged open and she jumped slightly. Green's face was all thunder and red tinged as Talbot came running in, flapping his hands in animated apology. Anna waved Talbot down and only raised an eyebrow when Green slammed a paper on the desk between them.

"What's this?"

"Looks like paper, Mr. Green, but I haven't had time to actually see what might be on it so for now that's all I'm safe saying."

"Don't play with me," He waved it in her face and Anna leaned back slightly to better see the writing, "I've been shut down."

"What a relief. I thought the world'd have to suffer a cataclysm before your brew finally made it off the streets." Anna fanned the paper away, "What's it to me?"

"You're behind this." He threw the paper at her but it just floated limply to her desk.

Anna, for all her dignity, had to hold her breath to keep from laughing. It did not help that Talbot covered his guffaws with a cough from behind Green. She shot him a glare before addressing the fuming Green.

"I've got nothing to do with whatever failure this is of yours."

"You called them to get back at me."

"Mr. Green, if you want honesty I haven't given you a second thought since I ended our contract with you." Anna pointed to the door, "And since you don't have an appointment and I do, I'd suggest you make yourself scarce."

"I'll leave when I'm good and damn well ready." Green's arms flailed and caught Anna's vase.

It sailed off her desk to crash into the wall, breaking it into pieces and leaking water all over the blue carpet of her office. Anna bit her tongue to keep her head straight and pointed a finger at Green.

"Think what you like, Mr. Green, but you'll leave my office or I'll have you escorted from the premises and I'll instruct them to toss your sorry ass to the curb."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." Anna leaned over the desk at him, "I'm not afraid of you and you're making trouble for my business. I'm well within my rights to kick you off my property."

"You're just mad I found business with someone else."

"Not by the looks of this," Anna slid the paper back to Green, "Don't let the door smack your ass on the way out."

Green took the paper, crumpling it slightly in his rush, "You're going to regret this."

"The only thing I regret was ever working with your or your poisonous mess in the first place." Anna waved her hand, "A year of my life I'm never getting back."

"This isn't over." Green hissed at her, shoving Talbot out of the way as he made for the door, "It's not over."

Anna waited until Green left to examine the vase. The pieces were large and she gathered them in the fractured base to set on her desk before retrieving the roses. Talbot joined her, moping up the water with a towel from the bar in the corner of the office.

"Sorry about that. I tried to stop him."

"No real harm done," Anna examined the floor for stray pieces of ceramic, "Except to that vase."

"It was nice." Talbot held the sopping towel in his hands, "He's a bastard for ruining it."

"He's an entitled ass." Anna slipped the roses into the cup on her desk, "If I wanted to kill myself I'd just climb to the top of that man's ego and jump to his IQ level."

"Or just drink his shit champagne." Talbot dropped the towel in the ice bucket, "I'm so glad you took Mr. Bates's offer."

"How's that going?" Anna rotated in her chair, playing with the petals on the roses. "How'd the guests take to his drinks?"

"This week we've probably done fifty-percent better on our alcohol sales so I'd say he's worth price of admission. More to the point Mrs. Patmore's raving about how much better she can pair dinner with drinks given the quality of his beverages."

"What about his shipment for tonight?"

"He's unloading right now," Talbot jerked a thumb towards the door, "You want to meet with him about the contract?"

"Maybe I will." Anna left her chair, "But you should work on drawing up your contract for him and the Scarlet."

"Really?"

"It'll be yours to manage Henry," Anna smiled over at him as they took the back stairs to the loading area, "But I'd like to give you that advantage."

"Much appreciated."

Anna turned the corner and saw John chatting with Mrs. Patmore as she plied him with something in a take-away box. He tried to refuse her but eventually accepted with a little bow. Anna snorted and walked over to him as Mrs. Patmore disappeared into the kitchen.

"You shouldn't refuse her. I own the place and I don't refuse her."

John looked up, grinning at her, "If I tried would it be at my peril?"

"Yes," Anna grimaced, "But if you think you're brave enough for it, on your head be it."

"I'll take that in mind." He nodded toward the ceiling, "I couldn't help overhearing but it sounded like you might've had a spot of trouble up there."

"Nothing we haven't dealt with before. Just a wanker looking for something that's not his."

"Dignity?"

"Then you saw him leave?"

"I saw a petulant man stomp his way out of here like his mother told him no more sweets at the corner shop." John lowered his voice as Alfred and William passed them, carrying the cases of the weekend supply to the bar and the storeroom. "Did you get my gift?"

"I did." She bit her lip, "Sadly it fell victim to the actions of a petulant child."

"He broke it?"

"I believe they make glue for that." Anna put a hand on his arm, "The roses are sitting in the available cup on my desk."

"I wasn't worried about that." John flexed his jaw, "I wanted to know you're alright."

"Then why not ask that?"

"I worried you'd assume I was trying to be heroic when you didn't need it."

Anna pulled him out of the way of traffic, "That's incredibly sweet of you, Mr. Bates, and you've no idea how much it means to me that you said that."

"Which part?"

"That you worried I'd think you were being the hero." Anna stepped closer to him, "I don't mind heroes, I just don't want them fighting the battles I can fight."

"Then let me ease your mind." John lowered his voice, "I don't want to fight your battles for you, Anna. I'd want to fight them with you."

Anna had no response so they just stood there a moment. Unlike other situations where Anna had nothing to say to the man next to her, she liked this moment. She liked standing in the presence of John and doing nothing but standing. Having no expectation but standing. It wasn't awkward or pressing. They just stood and it was fine.

Something dropped and brought Anna back to her senses, "Sorry, I've got to do damage control before we destroy what looks to be a very lucrative weekend."

"Then I'll not keep you. Besides," John held up the take-away box, "I've promised to eat this before it gets cold."

"Why not-" Anna cleared her throat, "Why not stay here for dinner? I can put you up in my office for the afternoon and then we can both enjoy this atmosphere together?"

"As much as I'd like that I do have work at the office."

"Oh," Anna felt herself deflate slightly, "I'm sorry I assumed and that-"

"But," John held up a finger, "I'll come back later. I wouldn't miss a chance to share dinner with you in your pride and joy."

"Mr. Bates I think you're just flattering me."

"Would that be so bad?" John dipped down slightly, just barely kissing her cheek, "We all need to be flattered occasionally."

"I don't flatter well."

"You flirt well."

"Flirting isn't flattering."

"It is when someone wants to flirt with you. Then it's blushingly flattering and not many people can make me blush."

"We've all got our strengths." Anna reached a hand up to hold John's head close to hers. "Maybe one day I might be tempted to let you be my strength for a moment?"

John pulled back slightly, "I'd love that."

"Good. Then I'll see you at eight?"

"Wouldn't dream of missing it." John lifted the take-away box before going out the back door.

Anna hugged her arms close to her chest, taking a deep breath while convincing herself she could still smell his cologne.

"So the other night… that wasn't a date?" Anna jumped as Mary joined her, leaning on a stack of boxes behind Anna.

"No, it wasn't a date."

"Than that wasn't an interchange between a boyfriend and a girlfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend. He's my supplier."

"People don't usually whisper in corners with their suppliers unless I missed a business class I shouldn't have."

"You missed all of them Mary, that's why you had to drop out." Anna made her way back up the stairs toward her office, Mary in tow.

"Be that as it may, you're staring at him like that was exactly what you took the mickey out of me for doing when I started dating Matthew."

"You were practically drooling when you saw Matthew so this hardly compares." Anna opened the door to her office to leave Mary behind but the other woman snaked herself in. "Come in why don't you."

"Look, you could do a lot worse than John Bates. Believe me, I've seen the kind of guys you date. Especially that one who just stank of trouble… or just stank."

"That was one guy and he's long gone."

"Prison, wasn't it?"

"That's not funny Mary."

"It may be a little," Mary held her pointer finger and thumb less than a millimeter apart. "But I'd put, in John's favor, that at least he doesn't look like the kind of person your mother would've warned you away from in the eighties."

"That was one time, Mary, and it was a costume party."

"Still, bad eighties."

"Let's not forget the man you want me to pursue hung around with your father in the eighties."

"Ew," Mary shuddered, "I'd prefer not to think about my father before I was in his life. For all intents and purposes he only existed so I could exist."

"I don't think your sisters would appreciate that."

"I don't care," Mary waved her hand, "And how'd we start talking about me? This is about you finally moving on."

"I wish you wouldn't say it like I've got hang ups about moving on or like I never dated after what happened."

"No one I liked and no one you liked or they'd have lasted longer than a date and a shag."

"That's not fair because Adam lasted two months and I never shagged any of them on the first date."

"None of them?" Mary waited and Anna sighed.

"Okay, I did shag Adam the first time but, as I said, we dated for two months before we broke up."

"You only claim that because he was the DJ here for that long."

"And I don't just date to shag." Mary raised an eyebrow and Anna shrugged, "If it comes to shagging I happen to enjoy it and there's no problem with that."

"Anna it's all empty and you've said before, with a few more shots of tequila than you probably intended, that almost none of them were actually satisfying so you didn't really enjoy it."

"From now on I'm not drinking with you." Anna sat in her chair, throwing her arms up, "So what if they weren't all great?"

"Because you deserve great Anna," Mary took one of the chairs across the desk ,"We all do and anything less isn't worth our time."

"And you think John Bates is great?"

"I prefer not to think of my father's friend in a sexual way because I'd rather not have to burn my eyeballs with caustic acid." Mary shifted on her chair, "But if there's one thing I do know about him, he'll treat you like a queen."

"Is that what his ex-wife thought?"

"His ex-wife was a harpy and you're a far cry from her."

"Mary?"

"I never met her but I heard the way Papa talked about her and she was bad news. What's more she's old news Anna, very old, so why does it matter?"

"We've all got our damage." Anna ran a finger along the stitching of her leather chair, "Or our baggage as John says."

Mary grew quiet, "Does he know your baggage?"

"Yes," Anna clapped her hands together, "And he still took me to dinner on Tuesday night which means he's either insane or-"

"Or he likes you." Mary tapped the desktop, "No one hears that sort of thing without running for the hills and just wants to prep your knickers for extraction."

"That's disgusting."

"Anna, be honest with yourself, other than me who else actually has a clue about what happened to you?"

"That's not import-"

"If you say 'it's not important' I swear I'll scream." Mary held up a warning finger, "If you give me another round of 'people have it worse than I do' I'll use the shards of whatever that was and knock you soundly about the head and shoulders."

Anna glanced at the remains of the ceramic vase sitting on the edge of her desk. "What's it matter that I told him?"

"Because you won't even talk to a damn therapist and on a first date, which you adamantly denied being a date by the way, you told a stranger all about what got you here in the first place."

"And that means something?"

"You're not an idiot Anna, stop acting like one."

Anna heaved in slowly, "What do you want me to do? Go to therapy? Go lay on a couch and talk about my childhood and how that prepped me for a drug addiction that set the stage for a rape? Do you want me to tell a perfect stranger all of my problems and have them tell me to write it all down in a journal to feel better?"

"If it helps."

"It won't." Anna shook her head, "It's shit and I don't need it."

"What if you do?"

"I don't, Mary." Anna stood up, "I have things to do so if you need to be somewhere else I'd suggest now is the time to be there."

"Anna-"

"Please, Mary." Anna felt her shoulders shaking slightly, "Please just go."

Mary left the office and Anna collapsed into her chair, holding her face in her hands as she cried.

* * *

Anna pulled her hair back as someone knocked on her office door. "Come in."

"It's all ready down on the main floor Anna, if you're ready." Anna looked up to see an older woman standing in the doorway.

"I will be in a minute."

"It's just-" The woman rubbed her hands and Anna narrowed her eyes.

"What is it Mrs. Hughes?"

"There's a man waiting for you at the bottom of the main stairs and he insists on not moving until you come down."

Anna rolled her chair to look out the glass of her office and smiled when she saw John standing at the bottom of the stairs, holding a rose in his hand. "That's fine Mrs. Hughes, I'm expecting him."

"He said as much but I thought I'd warn you just in case."

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes," Anna pushed her chair back, smoothing out her dress as she slipped her feet into the heels she hid under her desk. "I'll be ready in a moment."

"That's not the only reason I came up," Mrs. Hughes stepped closer to the desk, still dry-washing her hands. "I wanted to thank you for the promotion. It means a great deal to me."

"I think you're more than ready for it and I need someone I can trust." Anna held a hand out to Mrs. Hughes and she shook it. "I think it'll be a great partnership."

"But what about Mr. Talbot? You two are so close and it's almost like you read one another's minds sometimes. I don't know if I'm that good."

"I think Mr. Talbot and I are on the same wavelength now but we weren't when we started. We'll find our own groove Mrs. Hughes, I've got faith in us."

"If you're convinced then I am too. Mr. Carson said as much when I mentioned it to him."

"And how are you and Mr. Carson, Mrs. Hughes?"

"If we're going to be partners then you'd better call me Elsie but we're very well. He's the most wonderful man."

"I don't know Mrs. Hu- Elsie," Anna laughed, shooting a side glance out the window at John waiting below. "I've got a pretty decent man waiting for me down there."

"There's no comparison. Each man if perfect for the woman who chose him." Mrs. Hughes smiled, "I'll tell him you'll be right down."

"Why don't we go down together?" Anna and Mrs. Hughes walked across the hallway to the stairs and descended to join John.

"You found her Mrs. Hughes," John kissed Mrs. Hughes, "How will I ever repay you?"

"Treat her well and I won't worry about Mr. Carson having to treat you to the pavement." Mrs. Hughes smiled at him, "Have a good evening Mr. Bates."

He coughed as she walked away and Anna laughed. He turned back to her, raising an eyebrow, "Are you taking pleasure at my discomfiture Ms. Smith?"

"And if I am?" She slipped her arm through his, "I think the third date is the perfect time to realize your date isn't perfect."

"I could've told you that on the first date. In fact," He paused for dramatic effect, putting a finger to his chin, "I believe I did."

"How about, then, taking time to laugh at yourself?"

"Again, not something I need help doing." He smiled back but stopped suddenly, sniffing. "Do you smell that?"

"What?" Anna sniffed, "I don't smell it."

"Is it possible Mrs. Patmore burned something?"

"She doesn't. She believes a chef doesn't get paid to burn things." Anna moved away from John, trying to follow the smell just as the klaxons of the fire alarm and flashing lights activated.

In predictable fashion a few people screamed as they worried over what to take from their tables. Anna moved away from John, going to the wall and pulling down the old fashioned phone she worked into the intercom system. She rung it up and held the phone to her ear.

"Please proceed calmly to the nearest exits. There are two in the front, one just by the restrooms, and another in the back of the building. Do not panic or run. Walk to the exits, the fire squad is already on their way."

She set the phone back in its cradle as the smoke snaked its way from the kitchens. A hand grabbed her and she saw John there, tugging at her. Anna took her hand back and moved through the people trying not to panic in their rush to the door.

Reaching the bar she dug underneath it for the fire extinguisher as Tom joined her, holding the red can from the other end of the bar.

"I think something in the kitchen caught."

"I doubt it. She keeps it cleaner than a morgue in there." Anna walked toward the kitchen, pulling the pin in the extinguisher while holding the hose out. "We're putting it out."

"Anna," She turned to see John finally reaching her, his clothes a little mussed from his struggle through the crowd.

"I'm not leaving."

"I just wanted to know where I get one." He pointed to the extinguisher and Tom handed his over.

"All yours mate. I'll take the one by the bathrooms and see if I can find Henry and go from that way."

"Anna," Phyllis came from the second level, "I've got everyone out but Mary."

"Was Mary even back there?"

"She was in her dressing room but I can't find her."

Anna went to respond when something behind the kitchen doors popped. A moment later the doors burst open and a draft of hot air hit the four standing there with a concussion strong enough to blow them backward.

A sharp stabbing sensation hit her back as Anna collided with the bar. She stumbled sideways, grabbing for a stool but missing and hitting the floor. Phyllis toppled into a chair but managed to keep her feet enough to come to Anna's aid.

Anna took the offered hand and stood, immediately crouching back down. They coughed through the smoke and Anna tried to see in the growing haze. The sprinklers above their head kicked on, dousing the women in moments.

Someone put a coat over Anna's head and she saw John there. He ushered her toward the door as Tom helped Phyllis out. They maneuvered around the tables and chairs, some knocked over in the rush to escape, to reach the doors just as members of the fire squad ran inside.

Anna stopped, instructing the firefighter closest to her about the possible origins of the flames and that there might be a missing person. He nodded and urged them to join the others outside before running toward the still smoking kitchen.

They shivered outside, drenched as they were and unfit for the cold weather. Patrons rushed Anna, some wondering about the state of their various personal items while others complained about the service. Anna tried to address their concerns as she searched the crowd for Talbot or Mrs. Hughes.

Talbot found her first. "I've got the head count. All guests accounted for and all staff. Mrs. Patmore's near the back of the building with Mrs. Hughes and they say that Mary's missing."

"Phyllis said the same," Anna pointed back to where Phyllis accepted Moseley's jacket as the man put it over her shoulders, almost slapping Phyllis in the face in the process. "Do we know for sure she was even here?"

"Anna?" Anna turned to see Robert and Cora parting the crowd to reach her. Anna rolled her shoulders back, trying to prepare herself for this. "Did you find Mary?"

"No one's seen her yet but we're trying to locate her."

"Isn't she with Matthew?" Everyone looked over at John as he joined the, hands in his pockets. "He came in with me. He had a bunch of flowers and said he had a surprise for his wife."

Anna turned to Talbot, "Did you see him backstage?"

"No," Talbot shook his head, "Let me check with Phyllis. Maybe she did."

Talbot left them as the crowd broke into factions. Anna edged to the side, working around to the back of the building as the smoke billowing out of the building slowed. Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore gave her their assessments, with Mrs. Patmore insisting the fire was not from her kitchen.

Anna smiled at them and went to respond to Mrs. Patmore when Talbot jogged over to them, one of the firefighters with him. Anna faced the man, accepting Talbot's dry jacket to wrap around her shivering body, "What's the damage?"

"We've saved most of the structure but I'd say the backstage and offices have extensive fire damage. We'll wait until we're sure it's all out and then give you a better assessment when we know more."

"What about the woman inside?"

"You mean the couple inside?" The firefighter shook his head, "We've got the squad on the way for the woman. She's breathing with the help of an oxygen mask but we need something a little more powerful to help her."

"And the man?" Anna held the edges of Talbot's coat, her fingers white.

"He didn't make it."


	8. Depths of Despair

Anna shot awake again, feeling the crick in her neck from trying to sleep with it supported on her palm. She grabbed the edge of the blanket around her and pulled it back up, shivering in the air-conditioned A&E waiting room. Across from her Robert and Cora held one another's hands while speaking in low tones. In one corner Tom spoke with another couple as the woman kept folding and unfolding her arms. The man with her put his arms around her and she leaned into him.

"Cold?" Anna turned her head up to see John, holding a steaming cup. "I promise I didn't get this from a vending machine or the canteen."

"Did you walk across the street?"

"I actually skidded up the street because I forgot I have no traction in these shoes." John took the seat next to her, "You look absolutely done in."

"Thank you very much."

"I figured we'd be honest with one another." He took a sip of his drink, "We spilled all of our biggest secrets to one another at a professional dinner."

"One would wonder what else we could possibly hope to talk about." Anna blew on her cup, "But I agree, let's keep a policy of honesty."

"What if you don't like what I have to say?"

"I can always leave," Anna sipped at her drink then made a face.

"What?" John put down his cup, "Is something wrong with it?"

"Not in so many words." Anna set her cup beside his, "I just burned all the taste buds on my tongue."

"That happen often to you?"

"Not as often as you'd think." Anna tugged the blanket back over her shoulders. "I can't help but feel responsible."

"For what?"

"For this," She pointed to the room, "It's my restaurant."

"You didn't set the fire." John put a hand on hers, "That fire is the fault of no one but the arson. Don't lay this on yourself."

Anna went to respond as the doctor entered. Everyone stood, immediately growing quiet. The Doctor, still a little overwhelmed no matter how often this happened, walked over to Robert and Cora.

"Mrs. Crawley's awake. She's a little groggy and we still have her on oxygen just to make sure her lungs are cleared."

"Can she speak?" Robert stepped forward, holding his wife by the shoulders.

"There's been some damage to her vocal chords but we don't think it'll be permanent." The Doctor pointed to Robert and Cora, "If you like you can go back and see her."

They rushed through the swinging doors as Anna wrung her hands. John put a hand over hers and she looked at him. "She's alive and she's fine."

"They said she can speak but that she has damage to her vocal chords."

"Which they said wasn't permanent. Isn't that a good thing?"

"What about her singing voice, John? He doesn't know he only thinks. What if she never sings the same?" Anna wiped at her eyes, feeling the tears gathering there, "What if she can't sing anymore period?"

"Then she adapts. We all do."

"Not her," Anna collapsed back into a seat, "In one night I took away her husband and her career."

"Anna-"

"I have to go." Anna grabbed her things, leaving the waiting room just as a dark haired woman ran inside. As she turned the corner Anna saw the woman fling herself into Tom's arms before speaking hurriedly with him and the couple standing next to them. She paused, watching them, and when the dark haired woman broke down into tears Anna left the hospital.

* * *

Her office still smelled like smoke. Anna pulled another wipe from the bottle and scrubbed at the surface of her desk until it shone. The shards of the vase sat on the edge of the desk but she worked around them, scraping at another ash mark from the smoke trapped in her office during the fire.

A knock came at the door and Anna turned, wiping at her forehead with the back of her hand. Talbot waved at her, thrusting his fists back in his pockets as he walked toward her. Anna put down her cleaning supplies and pointed to a chair. "It's the only one that doesn't look like I rescued it from a rubbish bin."

"At least your office's still intact. Mine's practically black inside. Everything I touch falls to ash." Talbot leaned on the chair with a hand, "How are you doing?"

"I don't know," Anna went over to the window overlooking the rest of her restaurant and nightclub. "Down there you can barely tell anything happened."

"Mrs. Patmore insisted, until Mrs. Hughes finally got her into her car, that it wasn't her."

"We never thought it was."

"Guilt's a funny thing that way," Talbot scratched at his head, "Sometimes it convinces you that you're guilty for something that's not your fault."

Anna glared at him, scrubbing at the window, "If that's a veiled reference to something you should be more specific, Mr. Talbot."

"It is."

Anna put down the cleaning supplies, "Are you saying I shouldn't blame myself for this? Because the insurance company is and I've been on the phone on and off all day with my solicitor to get them to pay up on the fire insurance we have. They still say it's my fault and they won't budge."

"It's not your fault, Anna." Talbot waved a hand at the glass window, "This is your achievement, your great dream, but it's not just yours. It's everyone who put all their blood, sweat, and tears into this. This is all of ours so you taking all the responsibility for something you didn't do is ridiculous."

"This is karma coming back around to bite me in the ass, Henry." Anna took a cleaner to her chair, scouring the leather. "I thought I'd escape it and I didn't. End of story. This is my reward for arrogance. For thinking I could leave it all in the past."

"Anna, what are you talking about?"

"Do you know how I bought this place Henry?" Anna kept at a stain, her wrist aching slightly from the angle and the intensity.

"Robert Crawley helped you."

"But the rest of it?"

"I've never been curious."

"Never?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Because," Anna threw the cleaning bottle and the rag. The bottle skidded over her desk, knocking into the shards of the vase and sending them to the floor. Anna gripped the bridge of her nose, squeezing until she saw colors dancing before her eyes, and then released. She stared at Talbot, "I paid for my half with blood money, Henry."

"Blood money?"

"Hush money, whatever you want to call it. I bought this place and refurbished it with pity and silence."

"I don't see the relevance."

"I don't deserve it. I don't deserve this place, I didn't deserve the success we saw, and I certainly didn't deserve the generosity that got it off the ground. Because I took what I didn't deserve I'm paying the price now. Or, to be more correct," Anna picked up the shards of the vase and dumped them in the rubbish bin, "Everyone else is paying the price."

"This isn't the work of some vengeful god, Anna. This was the work of an arsonist. The Fire Chief's report said as much and when the solicitor gets it then the insurance company'll have to face facts. They'll pay what they owe us for the insurance and we'll get this place back to fighting shape." Talbot tried to get Anna's attention but she avoided him, going back to scrubbing at her chair. "Blame yourself all you want Anna but you're taking a tonic that's not yours and it'll poison you from the inside out."

"Maybe I deserve it."

"You don't." Talbot reached out a hand but dropped it, "Whatever you think you deserve Anna, it's not this."

Anna refused to respond and kept scrubbing until Talbot left. Once his footsteps faded down the hallway Anna straightened, tossing the rag onto her desk. A survey of her office had her dropping to the only undamaged chair to sob into her hands.

* * *

Talbot, to Anna's gratitude and chagrin, had been right. With the Fire Chief's report about the fire in the hands of her capable solicitor the insurance company paid on the insurance. Given the publicity of the fire and the fame of the Cerulean Swan, Charles Blake rallied the local council to remember that since the Cerulean Swan had been a famous club in the twenties and thirties it could be considered a national landmark, deserving of a place on the registry for historical buildings. They grudgingly gave it historic status, which gave Anna a stipend for repairs and refurbishment.

Because of his efforts on her behalf, Anna thanked Charles with a table of his own any time he wanted and a spot at the opening of the Scarlet Swan. Instead he just wanted her number. She handed it over, expecting a romantic call but instead he rang her to discuss a joint venture in Yorkshire. Within a month Charles Blake and Anna Smith were the co-owners of a lovely restaurant that Charles named the Mabel Lane Fox, after his manager's wife.

Talbot's own nightclub, the Scarlet Swan, benefitted from the press about the Cerulean Swan and the renovators worked around the clock to have the new Swan shipshape and Bristol fashion in half the time. The grand opening beat out all projections and Mrs. Patmore and Mrs. Hughes were rushed into service to get food and drinks to all the attendees. They even stayed for the next week until the initial fuss died down.

Anna settled back into her job, her office still occasionally smelling of smoke if she stepped on some parts of the carpet, and tried to pretend everything was normal. The Fire Chief's report sat open on her desk with the final analysis: work of arson, no suspects. Even the local DCIs were baffled as to who would wish to burn down the Cerulean Swan. Anna had no enemies, none she thought might wish her real harm, and the questioning just ran itself in a circle with disgruntled employees or suppliers. Eventually they closed the case since they had no leads no suspects.

Through it all John never called. Anna tried to tell herself she did not mind but when she went home, to her empty flat, she realized she did. She cared very much in the small hours of the morning, when sleep refused to come. Sleep did not come to her in the silence and oppressive loneliness of her home.

So she did not go home.

She spent hours reassembling her files, instructing the decorators personally, overseeing the painting, and matching table and chair designs to the originals. She replaced the window in her office an updated etching of a cerulean swan in attack mode and matched all the other swans in the building to it. The backstage received two new exits, an updated fire suppression system, and the whole building was lined with sprinklers. Every employee now had a swipe card for entrances and exits, the same one used for them to clock in and out, and all their suppliers were put under ridiculous scrutiny. Some cracked under the pressure but Anna found new ones to replace them in no time at all, the help of Charles Blake.

Looking back Anna wondered how any of her employees found the energy to cope with her as she revamped the entire building like a paranoid schizophrenic. Eventually it was Talbot, arriving for their bi-weekly meeting, who found her asleep on her desk in the same clothes she wore to their last meeting. He carried her to his car, giving the keys to Anna's car to Mrs. Hughes, and driving them both home to her flat. Anna tried to argue but Talbot dropped her in her flat and Mrs. Hughes manhandled her into a shower before tucking her in her bed. They even stayed until Anna was actually asleep so Talbot could drive Mrs. Hughes back to the Cerulean before returning to the Scarlet himself.

When Anna finally came back to work, rested and a tad less obsessive, she got back to basic office work. It was one of these days, staring at spreadsheets until her eyes crossed, Talbot came into her office and gave her a letter.

"What's this?"

"I want to buy the Scarlet Swan."

"What?" Anna read the letter quickly before holding it up to him, "You want to buy into it?"

"I've talked to our solicitor," Talbot sat her down in her chair at her desk and took the seat across from her like it was old times. "He thinks we could start this as an enterprise. You've got co-ownership of the MLF in Yorkshire-"

"Could we not call it that acronym?"

"That's what Charles wants to change it to." Talbot raised an eyebrow, "Didn't he tell you? He's thinking of a nightclub franchise up there under that label."

"He wants to make a chain of nightclubs titled MLF?" Anna waited but Talbot did not seem to understand her concern, "You do realize how you pronounce that right and the problems we'll have with it?"

"It's a big hit with the prepubescent boy crowd."

"Oh my goodness." Anna covered her face before pulling her fingers down her face, "Okay. I'll have to talk to him about it."

"I don't think you should change the name."

"I want to get my name off it then."

"And lose out on the revenue?"

"I don't lend well to something that is pronounced MILF." Anna took a deep breath, "But what were you saying about enterprise?"

"Charles got me the idea, really. We were talking about the how the MLF is doing and he suggested the chain up there and I thought, what about a chain of Swans?"

"A chain?"

"We're almost ready to get the Cerulean open again and the Scarlet is doing brilliantly." Talbot scooted forward on his chair, "I think we could open another one by start of next year."

Anna leaned back in her chair, chewing the insides of her cheeks as she thought about it. "That's what you're buying into? A franchise?"

"Yes. We could put on in Reading, another in Sussex, and one in Essex. Just to start you know. Then we move north and west."

"How many do you have planned?"

"Honestly?" Talbot counted off on his fingers, "At least eight others off the top of my head."

"Eight? Henry are you out of your mind?"

"Not all at once. We start slow."

"We already opened the Scarlet this year and it's," Anna checked a calendar, "Practically Christmas."

"So?"

"I think we need to get the Cerulean back to fighting fit before we plan anymore." Anna waved the letter, "But I'll say yes to this. I'll give you half ownership of the Scarlet."

"Really?" Talbot whistled, "I just wanted to start with a quarter but alright."

"It's more than fair." Anna wrote something on the bottom of the page and handed it back, "Sign that saying you saw me sign this and take it to our solicitor. Have him draw up the papers and bring them over for me to sign."

"Will do." Talbot was almost to the door before he stopped. He walked back to the desk, "Have you heard from Mr. Bates?"

"No," Anna turned to her computer, going back to the spreadsheet she had been in the midst of studying. "Why'd you ask?"

"I wrote out a cheque for him but his office just responded that all costs were suspended through the end of the year. I thought maybe you had a deal with him."

"No," Anna shook her head, pushing away from her computer, "He's still delivering?"

"Twice a week, like clockwork. His drivers are always on time and he's been giving us the quality and quantities we asked for."

"But you're not paying him?"

"I double checked. The woman on the phone was adamant they weren't taking our checks, that it was all covered by something but she never did say what." Talbot gaped a moment, "Should I've argued?"

"You wouldn't win against her." Anna stood, pulling her coat off the back of her chair, "I'm going to go sort this."

"Why?"

"Because, Mr. Talbot," Anna slid her phone and keys into her pocket, checking she had her chequebook and a few other necessary items, "We already tested his product and I signed the six month contract with him for it because we liked it and so did our customers. If he's holding up his end I'm holding up mine."

The chill of the late December air bit at Anna on the way to the car and she felt her it complain when she turned the key. Waiting for the engine to heat she drove to the Bubble Room, risking a few questionable patches on the road but arriving safely. Pulling into the carpark she recognized John's car and got out of her own as Mrs. Bates came from the offices to the front porch.

"Nice to see you back here." She held up a cup, "Fancy a bit of tea?"

"Is it spiked?" Anna kept her hands in her coat pockets, forgetting her gloves,

"Well, I like a stiff Irish coffee myself so when I said tea what I meant was if you want me to make you tea. This," She held up her cup, "Is not tea."

"Actually I'm here to see John."

"Good," Mrs. Bates jerked her thumb toward the door, "I'm out here, braving the cold at my age, because that boy won't stop pacing around his office."

"How long's he been doing it?"

"Ever since he came home from the hospital after the Crawley girl was released." Mrs. Bates shook her head, "Up and back and up and back… it's maddening and he's damned lucky I haven't stabbed him with a bottle opener. Instead I stand outside in this weather. My old bones can't take the cold."

"I'm sure you're old bones are just fine." Anna pushed through the door and heard exactly what Mrs. Bates meant.

John's footfalls went from one end of the room to the other in constant enough time to keep a clock correct. Heaving in a deep breath, Anna ascended the stairs to his office and knocked on the wood of the railing. He stopped, turning to see her, and then shuffled his weight from foot to foot.

"How can I help you Ms. Smith?"

"You can start by calling me 'Anna' for one." She removed her coat, "And second you can tell me why you aren't billing the Scarlet for their shipments."

"I-" John fumbled for words and finally thrust his hands into his pockets. "I thought, with all that was going on, it was a donation I could make to the cause."

"That's kind of you but I'm here to pay for a month of twice-a-week shipments." Anna pulled her chequebook from her coat pocket, draping the coat over the back of the nearest chair, "Based on the numbers you gave us when we signed the six-month contract at the Cerulean Swan I think it should be about this much."

She showed him the number, written on a notepad, but he shook his head. "There's no charge."

"John I can't accept that."

"Because you can't accept charity?"

"Because I run a business and so do you."

"My business isn't struggling."

"Neither is mine." Anna crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't need your charity for my business. We're fine. Better than fine, actually and so I need to pay you for this."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why?" John crossed his own arms, setting his jaw. "Why do you _need_ to pay me? Why can't I make it a donation to a fellow business owner? People do it all the time."

"Because the Scarlet is the black and the Cerulean will be too once it's opened back up again."

"Then when the Cerulean opens I'll start sending you bills but until then I'll make my own decisions about the pricing of my products."

"I can't accept that."

"Why?"

"It's not important."

"Yes it is, Anna." John pointed at her, "You can't accept this because you believe you don't deserve it."

"I don't."

"But you believed you deserved the blame for the fire and the guilt for Matthew's death?"

"Yes."

"You didn't even go to the funeral Anna."

"The murderer doesn't go to the funeral." Anna's voice was soft but John could hear it.

"You're not his murderer."

"Aren't I?" Anna raised her hands in the air, palms toward the ceiling, "He died in my establishment, that puts his death on my conscience."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No," John took a step toward her, "This is you blaming yourself for something not your fault, again."

"What are you talking about?"

"The reason you feel guilty about the Cerulean is because you think it's built on blood money and pity. I remember you saying that to me at the Beast."

"It is."

"The Cerulean was rebuilt on generosity and justified restitution, Anna." John threw his hands into the air, "You want to go around pretending you can do it all on your own, like nothing can touch you, like you need no one but it's a lie Anna. The biggest lie you ever told yourself."

"And what about you?" Anna's voice rose, edged with a whine but she did not care. "You haven't called."

"You walked out on me in that waiting room when I wanted to help."

"So then you just abandon me after that?"

"You didn't call either."

"I don't know how." Anna shouted and then cleared her throat, trying to maintain her composure, "I don't know how to ask for help."

"Why not?"

"Because every boyfriend I ever had lasted, max, a month. They were for shagging, for forgetting my problems, for having a good time. They weren't serious and neither was I. I wasn't serious at Uni and look where that got me. But I am serious about the Cerulean and I want that to succeed." Anna rewrote the number on the pad and held it out to him, "That's how much I'm paying you for the shipments. Please take it."

John sighed and nodded. Anna wrote the cheque and tore it off, handing it to him. Their hands met and he held hers. Anna looked up at him and she saw tears in his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere Anna."

"But you did go somewhere."

"No, you did Anna." John brought his hands up to cup her face, "I'm here. I've been here waiting for you. Just like I promised."

Anna broke down then. She had not cried since that day in her office but she did now. John pulled her to him and she sobbed in his shirt. His hands at her back, soothing over her just as his slight twisting motions rocked her.

Neither of them spoke. Neither of them needed to. Anna just cried until she could not cry anymore and then pulled away. John offered he a box of tissues and she took a few, dabbing at her eyes and blowing her nose.

"Not very professional, crying in your office." She tried to laugh but John just held up the rubbish bin for her.

"We're not very professional in this relationship Anna."

"Is that what we have John?" Anna bit her lip, "Because I don't feel like we're really in a relationship."

"What do you think it is Anna?"

"I don't know. I-" She took a deep breath to calm herself, "When you didn't call I fretted about it to the point where I didn't sleep. I went days at my office to try and not think about how much I wanted you to call."

"Why didn't you call then?"

"I didn't want to press if you didn't want me."

"What gave you that idea?"

"In my experience, when someone doesn't call you they don't want you."

"So you don't want me then?"

"No I-" Anna felt the words choke in her throat and she took a moment to swallow before continuing, "I do want you. More than I think I'm comfortable admitting or saying. I just don't know how to tell you."

"That was good enough." John bent and placed a simple kiss on her lips.

Anna wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him down when he tried to retreat. His hand held at her waist while the other framed her face to hold it steady when he recommitted. She sighed into the gesture and pulled away, taking his lower lip with her a minute before releasing her teeth.

She stared at his chest, speaking there instead of meeting his eyes, "I don't know how to do this."

"Then we'll learn it together." John tipped her chin up, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Anna hugged herself to him, "Good. I don't want you to."


	9. Horizon

Anna steeled herself and knocked. A monotone voice answered and Anna opened the door to see Mary sitting by the window. In the corner a blonde-headed boy played with some toys, crashing trucks and cars into one another.

Mary turned to Anna and even from the distance Anna could see a deadness there. It was like all the light left her. Anna swallowed.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

"Why should you be?" Mary shifted, moving her legs to the floor, "You have a life to keep living. The living owe nothing to the dead."

"You're not dead Mary."

"I feel dead. I've nothing now."

"Yes you do. You've got a life to live." Anna walked forward, sitting on the edge of the bed, "Your father said your voice is fine and your lungs are completely healed. I thought you'd be doing promotion for your third album."

"Turns out you don't need it when you're all over the news in a fire that kills your husband." Mary snorted, "I think they all bought the music because I was a source of pity."

"Mary-"

"No," Mary shrugged, "It's fine. The money's in the bank where it belongs and I'm here, where I belong."

"Your mother said you haven't left the house in a week."

"Why do I need to?" Mary raised an eyebrow, "I send someone for the shopping, Tom and Sybil take George to school and the park which ingratiates Tom to my father, and I hired someone to do the cleaning every three days so everything's handled."

"That's not what I mean Mary." Anna snuck a glance at George but he was flying a car with Batman on top of it, paying them no mind. "I'm talking about getting out to see the sunshine."

"It's December, Anna, there's no sunshine."

"You know what I mean." Anna sighed, "You need a way to release your grief, Mary. Not bottle it all up in this house."

"I did release my grief." Mary straightened her back, "I cried at his funeral. Which you would've seen had you bothered to show up."

"I couldn't go."

"Too busy at your precious Cerulean?"

"I felt guilty because I felt Matthew's death was my fault." Anna tried to keep her voice from cracking, "I didn't want to show my face because I was afraid you'd think it was my fault too."

"I hope you're not expecting me to feel sorry for you."

"No," Anna shook her head, "I'm not expecting that."

"Good. Because I don't." Mary leaned back against the window, "I hear the Cerulean is reopening. Congratulations."

"You don't mean that."

"Why wouldn't I? I'm a part owner." Mary shrugged, "Maybe the opening will give me a reason to get out of the house."

Anna did not answer immediately. When she did she chewed on her lip a moment, "Are you looking into counseling Mary?"

Mary glared at her, "What a moment to throw my own words back in my face. I didn't think you'd sink that low."

"I wasn't-" Anna bit her tongue, "I wanted to know if you're talking to anyone."

"I'm talking to you aren't I?"

"I mean someone professional."

"What kind of professional?"

"Stop being so bloody belligerent Mary." Anna raised her voice and struggled to rein it back in. "You're in pain, you're grieving, but you've got to crawl out of your shell. You can't keep living like this because it's not living."

"And do what? Open a night club?"

"Say whatever you like, you can't hurt me by throwing my failures back in my face," Anna stood, "I'm immune."

"If you're so immune then why blame yourself for Matthew's death? Why blame yourself for any of this?" Mary stood too so they were toe-to-toe, "If you're so immune why haven't you had a steady boyfriend since that dickhead at Uni got you hooked on cocaine? If you're so immune how come you live alone, feel guilty that I ever talked to my father about your idea for a night club, or push everyone away?"

"Don't Mary-"

"Don't what, Anna? Tell you the truth? Make you confront the reality that you never recovered from what happened?"

Anna closed her eyes, putting her hands to her head, "Stop Mary."

"No, I won't stop. I won't stop because every year on the anniversary of the day you lock yourself in your flat and refuse to take any calls. You take Tuesday off because that's the day that it happened. You won't date anyone decent because they might actually want to be with you. And you blame yourself for a fire some shit set in your nightclub because it's easier than accepting that sometimes shit happens and we've got to learn to get the hell over it because that's all we can do."

Anna shook her head, trying to drown out Mary's words, "Stop."

"You're broken Anna and the only one who refuses to accept that is you."

Anna slapped Mary.

Mary stood in shock a moment and then slapped Anna back.

They stared at one another, both breathing hard with their cheeks stinging, and then broke down in tears. They clung to one another, sinking on the bed, and sobbed. These two women, so full of pain and anger and sorrow, let it all go in the most vulnerable they had ever been with anyone. The most vulnerable they had ever been with even each other.

When Anna finally managed to breathe evenly she reached over to Mary's bedside table and grabbed the tissue box. They shared it between then, turning the hiccups into giggles. Mary dabbed at her eyes before throwing up her hands.

"I knew I should've bought the waterproof mascara."

"I think your makeup looks fine." Anna wiped at her eyes, examining the tissue in her hand, "Mine on the other hand…"

"Screw your makeup Anna. Take the day off." Mary blew her nose, "Go somewhere fun and go wild."

"I don't have anywhere fun to go." Anna took a shuddering breath, her body still adjusting to being all cried out.

"Then go to John." Mary scraped all the used tissues from the bed into the rubbish bin and replaced it near her bedside table. "He can cheer you up."

"Not sure how."

"Just his presence." Mary took Anna's hands, "Do you remember when you told me I needed to trust Matthew wouldn't break my heart the way Kemal did?"

"I can't believe you remember what I said to you then. You were so wasted."

"And you were high," Mary leveled her finger at Anna, "Don't deny it, your eyes were both dilated at different levels."

"I was high for most of Uni." Anna shook her head, "What about what I said?"

"You told me that men aren't like buses, that another one isn't just going to come along in ten minutes."

"I think I specified another good one isn't coming in ten minutes." Anna snickered, "I've had them come in five but then they're always coming too soon for me."

Mary and Anna laughed until they were crying again. Eventually Mary composed herself, "The advice still applies, Anna."

"Why would he want to take on all this?"

"He's got his own baggage."

"I know, I heard it." Anna took a deep breath, "I still don't know how he didn't run for the hills when I told him mine."

"Because you are more than your baggage, Anna. Just like he's more than his." Mary adjusted on the bed, "We're all a mess. You know it, I know, and for some reason we all still want to be in one another's company."

"I don't know if I can, Mary."

"If you couldn't I wouldn't tell you to do it." Mary squeezed Anna's hand, "Don't let him get away. Not when he's everything you need and everything you ever wanted."

"How do you know what I want?"

"Because I've been your friend since you before you got clean and I believe some of the most truthful things I ever heard you say came in a drug induced state." Mary helped Anna stand. "Don't miss out on this."

Anna hugged Mary, "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, Anna." Mary clung to her a moment more before letting go, "And I should be thanking you."

"Thanking me?"

"I haven't cried since his funeral and I haven't really felt anything since I learned he was dead." Mary smiled at Anna, her eyes tearing, "I'm sorry about what I said."

"You're right."

"Please say those words again."

"No." They laughed, "But thank you, Mary."

"What are friends for?"

Anna ran her tongue over her teeth, "Do you think you're well enough to sing at the reopening?"

"I sang at the opening, it only seems appropriate." Mary pushed Anna toward the door. "Now go and get your man before he decides you're too much for him."

* * *

Anna parked outside John's offices and saw Mrs. Bates outside, rocking in the rocking chair. She barely acknowledged the woman, pushing into the building. The steps were not even obstacles as she entered John's office.

He looked up from his desk, furrowing his brow. But Anna did not allow him to speak. She came around the desk, took his face in her hands, and kissed him.

For as surprised as the poor man was he immediately responded. Anna plunged her tongue into his mouth and he sucked at it. His hands reached around her waist inside her open coat and pulled her down on his lap. Her legs went on either side of the chair and she ground down on him.

He groaned into their kiss before moving a hand to the back of her head. The slight pressure of his hand angled her head for him to take the kiss deeper. She dug her fingers into his scalp, holding him in place while her hips rocked into him.

Eventually both had to break for air and John just held Anna there. She stared down at him, smiling as her thumb stroked over his cheekbone. He grinned back, licking his lips before running his hand in her hair.

"What brought this on?"

"Mary told me I needed to make a move on you before you decided I was too much for you to handle."

"Anna you're-"

"I wasn't finished," She put her finger on his lips. "I thought I was honest with you when we had dinner, that I told you everything but I didn't."

John only nodded, waiting for her to continue.

Anna took a deep breath, "I take Tuesdays off because I was attacked on a Tuesday. Every year, on the anniversary of the attack, I lock myself in my flat and cry. I don't date anyone decent because I don't want to confront the baggage I have or fix it because it scares me. I never got help for what happened except for rehab because I thought I brought it on myself. And I pushed you away, or only wanted you for sex, because I was afraid you might actually want me but then you'd discover you were wrong and leave."

John waited a beat, "Can I speak now?" Anna nodded and he continued, "No matter what I know about you, it won't change how I feel about you."

"Really?"

"Really. Even with everything I know about you, with all of it in the open, it doesn't change a thing."

"Well, it's out in the open, I'm glad of that at least." Anna let out a breath, "I don't have to worry about being found out anymore because now you know and my shame's got nowhere to hide."

"Shame?" John moved his hands to her face, "Why are you talking about shame?"

"Because I'm broken and I'll never be whole. Being broken, to me, is shameful."

"You're not broken." John forced Anna to look at him, "You're no more broken than anyone else. In fact, I think you're made stronger and better because of what you've been put through and survived. And even if you were broken there's no shame in that."

"Why not?"

"Because everyone's broken, Anna, in their own way." John smiled at her, "No matter what you think of yourself, you're the person I love most in the world and I've never been more honored to care for anyone than I am knowing I can care for and love you."

Anna hugged John, burying her head in his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her. Holding her. Protecting her. Keeping her safe.

Anna finally felt loved.


	10. The New Cerulean

Anna took deep breaths, counting each inhale to ten before exhaling. Opening her eyes she checked herself in the full-length mirror. The dress hung like a waterfall on her. The straps at her shoulders supporting the sleeves that tied at her elbows to leave them billowing from shoulder to elbow and from elbow to wrist while leaving her skin exposed. The material swished over the floor as she walked and the silver-blue glinted in the light to send dazzles of color over the mirror. Anna pulled at the edge to check, for the hundredth time, that her heels really did match.

A buzzing at her door interrupted her and Anna dropped the edge of the dress. She moved to the hall, pulling down her coat and slid one arm through when she checked through the peephole. John stood on the other side, the blue tie of his tuxedo showing through the lapels of his black pea coat. She finished getting on her own coat, buttoning it to completely cover the dress so she would stay warm in the January air.

Anna took a few deep breaths before opening the door. John turned and smiled at her. If Anna had not kept her firm grip on the door she might have fallen over with how that smile lit her up inside. She returned it, beaming at him, and grabbed her purse.

"Ready?"

"Yes," She checked for her keys and essentials before smiling at him, "Perfectly."

"Not that I'm not overjoyed you're already ready but Mary warned me that women take forever and I shouldn't be surprised if I had to wait on your couch for an hour or-"

"I'm nervous," Anna walked into the hallway, pulling her door closed before locking it. "I always get ready quickly when I'm nervous."

"How nervous are you?"

"You know how some people would rather be an hour early than five minutes later?"

"Yeah."

"I'd rather be two hours early."

"Well then," John gave her his arm, "Allow me to escort you insanely early to your party Ms. Smith."

"If it's your pleasure Mr. Bates," She giggled at him, slipping her hand in the crook of his arm."

"It is."

They walked to the elevator and John pressed the button. He waited a moment before taking Anna's hand in his. Lifting it to his lips he kissed it and then replaced it back on his arm.

Anna thought her face might break if she kept smiling. "You're very sure of your seduction Mr. Bates."

"I did promise you that I planned the perfect seduction."

"Not sure you planned the way I shut you out." Anna's voice lowered and she swallowed. A slight pressure on her shoulder had her turning to see John's face.

"It just delayed it a bit, nothing more." The doors opened and he stepped back, waving his arms, "After you Ms. Smith."

Anna entered the elevator and waited for John to enter before pressing the button for the lobby. When she joined him she felt his fingers caress over the back of her neck. She froze, trying to bask in the sensation. A moment later he bent further, barely brushing his lips over the skin available to him. She sighed and he took her hand to turn her to him.

His hand came to her cheek, holding her as gently as an expert handles fine china, and he bent to kiss her. It was not like the kiss she forced on him in his office but like someone trying to touch a bubble without breaking the surface tension. She slid her own hand to his cheek, enjoying the tingle in her fingers of his soft skin under her fingertips.

He slid his tongue over her lips and Anna opened to him, pulling him closer with another hand on the back of his neck. He backed her into the wall of the elevator and pressed his advantage with a hand at her waist. She could barely feel it through her coat but she surged upward to take more of his mouth.

The elevator dinged open and John released her lips. He did not back away but spent a second stroking over her cheek before bringing the back of her hand to his mouth to kiss it. Tucking it back into the crook of his arm he led them from the elevator to the street.

Anna gasped, covering her mouth with both hands as John walked to open the door for her. He waved his hand toward the inside, "Your carriage awaits Ms. Smith."

"John," Anna stepped forward carefully, taking in the full length of the black limousine. "What did you do?"

"I thought that the owner of the newly reopening Cerulean Swan deserved to arrive in style." John took the pace toward her, taking her hand, "It's my gift for the evening."

"Is this the surprise Mary warned me about?"

"Mary warned you I had a surprise?" John paled slightly and Anna stopped.

"You do have a surprise?"

"Yes, I do… or I did but it's not a surprise if you know there is one." John shook his head, "I don't know why I told Mary anything."

"She didn't say what it was."

"Well it's not the limo, that's for sure. That's a gift, not a surprise." John guided Anna inside and slid in after her. "But if you want the limo to be a surprise then consider it a surprise."

"Well I was surprised," Anna leaned over to him, "But now I'm curious what surprise you have."

"If I tell you then it's not a surprise." John kissed her cheek before pushing a button, "We're ready to go now Andy."

"Sure thing Mr. Bates."

John released the button and turned back to Anna to see her pouting. "What?"

"I don't like surprises."

"You'll like this one."

"The last time Mary said that to me we got wasted on a cruise around the Mediterranean and I ended up food poisoned."

"So I won't take you on a cruise."

"That's not funny John." Anna swatted at him but John did not stop laughing. "I was puking everywhere."

"Then let me tell you it's not a cruise or poorly prepared seafood."

Anna narrowed her eyes, "Is it sea food?"

"No," John held up a finger, "And I won't play twenty questions with you so don't ask."

"Fine." Anna got comfortable on the seat, "Then I won't ask."

They drove to the Cerulean with bursts of conversation but as they drew closer Anna had less and less to say. She glanced at her hand, noticing it shaking when she pulled it to eye level. As she went to clench her fist John took her hand in his. He squeezed gently before setting it on his knee.

"It'll all be alright Anna."

"You think so?"

"Talbot closed the Scarlet just for this. He wouldn't put faith in something he doesn't trust."

"You and Henry've gotten close," Anna furrowed her brow, "Did he help you with the surprise?"

"He and Mary did. I wouldn't have thought it up on my own." The limo stopped and John put his hand on the door, "Are you ready?"

Anna took a deep breath, counted ten, and nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Good," John kissed her on the cheek, "You'll be amazing."

He opened the door and a flash of light punctuated by a million following flashes blinded Anna for a moment. She glided over the seat, taking John's hand from outside the door, and waved to the gathered crowd of photographers, critics, and guests pressing to get inside.

Charles Blake strode over to her, took both her hands, and kissed her cheeks. "They're all ready for you to make a grand opening Ms. Smith."

"Thank you Charles." Anna smiled at him as he stepped to the side, whispered something to John, and then disappeared into the blinding lights again.

John took her hand and they walked up the rented red carpet to the front doors. Talbot waited there with a pair of enormous scissors, almost too obnoxious to be real, and beamed at them. He leaned over to shake John's hand and kissed Anna's cheek, "Better turn out than expected yeah?"

"It's something Henry," Anna called above the noise and followed him up the set of stairs to the small, temporary platform. She hugged Mrs. Hughes, shook Carson's hand, and greeted a grinning Tom. Turning to the crowd Anna approached the little podium and tapped the microphone once. It buzzed and the crowd dulled its roar.

Anna cleared her throat to the side, "Thank you all for braving the January weather to be here. I know this isn't what any of you expected to be doing a month ago but neither did I."

There was a short cheer and Anna waited before continuing. "I want to express my gratitude to Henry Talbot for forcing all of you out of the Scarlet to come back to the Cerulean," A ripple of laughter went through the crowd and Anna looked back at Talbot, "He's been a stalwart support to me from the moment the Cerulean opened it's doors for the first time and every day since he becomes more important and dear to me so I'd like to take a moment to thank him properly."

Anna stepped back and clapped, joined shortly by the entire crowd. Talbot stood, bowed slightly as he waved, and looked to Anna with tears in his eyes. They nodded at one another before Anna took her place at the podium again.

"I also need to thank Charles Blake, who conveniently disappeared, for his tireless efforts to have the Cerulean recognized for the landmark it is." Anna craned her head back to take in the building behind her, "In the twenties this was a fledgling jazz club, pun intended, and in the thirties it was a night club. The forties saw it endure the Blitz and the devastation that followed with open doors and open taps to show Hitler that they wouldn't be cowed by his efforts."

"Here, here." Carson bellowed and the crowd whooped with him.

"In the fifties some of the grandeur faded but it held strong until the sixties. By then the foundations had cracked but the council couldn't tear it down. It languished on, limping on as a shell of its former self." Anna paused, smiling to herself, "It's funny but some people talk about love at first sight with a person. I fell in love with this building the first time I saw it as a little girl and I haven't looked back since. I saw it for what it had been and could be again. It's been my goal, my dream, and my greatest achievement.

"So," Anna waved her hands at the Cerulean Swan, "Let it be opened again."

The crowd cheered as Anna and Talbot walked down the stairs to the doors. A huge bow, in cerulean silk, tied the doors closed. Anna held one end of the scissors and Talbot the other. They posed a moment for pictures before slicing through the fabric. It fluttered to the ground and for a moment Anna could hear nothing but the imagined sounds of life on the other side of those doors from the decades past calling out to her.

When sound hit her again Anna blinked away tears, beaming at the cameras as Carson took the large scissors and Talbot opened the doors. John joined her, Tom and Mrs. Hughes snaking past them through a side door, and Anna stepped into the Cerulean.

* * *

Anna basked in the compliments but felt the muscles in her face twitching from smiling all evening. Her stomach rumbled and she recalled the bit of appetizer she scrounged earlier before another person drew her into a conversation about possible investments. She searched the crowd for John, Mary, or Talbot but none of them seemed about.

A hand touched her shoulder and Anna turned to see Mrs. Hughes. "Mrs. Crawley's ready to sing now."

"Perfect way to close out the night I think." Anna went to walk toward the stage but Mrs. Hughes grabbed her arm. "I'll get up and tell everyone."

"No need."

"What?"

"Mr. Talbot is. She insisted."

"Why'd Mary insist on Henry doing it?" Anna shook her head, confused.

"She's a surprise for you first."

"What?" Anna frowned and then heard Talbot's voice over the microphone. She turned to the stage to see Talbot, looking rather dashing in his tuxedo with a scarlet tie and cummerbund.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I do hope you haven't indulged yourselves too much on the champagne and appetizers since you all have to drive yourselves home." The group laughed and Talbot flashed them a smile, "And since I'm here to announce a surprise that's coming to the Cerulean as of tomorrow I want you all as alert as possible."

Titters went through the crowd and those around Anna looked over at her. She smiled, feeling a flush rise in her cheeks since she had no idea what was going on. Her gaze went back to Talbot as he turned to motion someone to join him on stage. When John got up Anna covered her mouth with her hand.

"This man, John Bates, opened a contract with the Cerulean and the Scarlet Swans a few months ago as the owner and operator of The Bubble Room. If you haven't heard of it then you don't know what you're missing." Talbot paused again, "In celebration of the grand reopening of this historical site and this wonderful restaurant, it is the honor of Mr. Bates and myself to present to Ms. Anna Smith the newest line of alcoholic beverages distributed by The Bubble Room and made exclusively for the Swan franchise."

They both stepped sidewise as Mary rolled a table, draped in cerulean silk, forward. The three of them grabbed sides and counted to three before pulling back the fabric. Everyone gasped and then clapped at the sign depicting the label and the line of bottles in front of it.

Talbot retook the microphone, "Starting tomorrow night the Cerulean and Scarlet Swans will carry the 'Ugly Duckling' brand for vodka, champagne, red wine, white wine, whiskey, and scotch."

Anna could barely hold back her tears as John and Talbot congratulated one another. John met Anna's eyes over the crowd and for a moment he looked nervous. But she smiled at him, clapping with everyone else and smiling bigger than she had all night.

"And now, we present, to close off our perfect evening, Mary Crawley." Talbot handed the microphone to Mary before vanishing from the stage.

Anna watched John make his way to her as Mary sang into the microphone. Her voice sent a hush over the crowd and couples started dancing as Mary sang. John took Anna in his arms and she wrapped her around his neck.

"Surprised?"

"Pleasantly." She kissed him, "More than I can say."

"If you're mad about it in the morning it was Talbot's idea."

"We'll discuss it I'm sure."

They danced across the floor, John tilting his head toward the stage, "What's this song?"

"Heaven by Fire Theft." Anna smiled, glancing at Mary, "It was Matthew's favorite."

"Not hers?"

"No, her romantic song was always Starlight by Anna O'Byrne."

John shook his head, "Never heard it."

"She'll sing it for you anytime you like." Anna cringed, "Like non-stop driving through wine country in France."

"Oh," John laughed, "Brutal."

"Not as brutal as when Robert started singing Michael Jackson songs because he was smashed," Anna shuddered, "We couldn't get him to shut up for an hour."

"And he doesn't sing well when he's sober."

"Not at all."

John glanced down, "I don't think I told you how beautiful you look in that dress."

"You didn't."

"Well I wanted to say it at your door but since you already had your coat on I thought you'd think it was a line I was feeding you since I had no proof and then, when you had your coat off, there was a line of people to talk to you and I wanted the moment to be special."

"Did you?"

"Yes," John stopped them as the song finished, "You look beautiful Anna."

Anna stepped forward to put a kiss on his cheek, grateful for her high heels, "Thank you John."

"You never have to thank me for paying you a well deserved compliment."

"Not just that," Anna pointed around them, "For this."

"You did this Anna."

"You helped plan this party, you made me a line of drinks, you-" She faced him, "You never gave up on me, even when I pushed you away."

"Anna," He held both her hands in his, "I'll never give up on you."

Anna struggled to control her breathing and kept her focus on John's jacket when she spoke next, "You told me once that you didn't believe in taking a woman to bed until you'd seduced her properly."

"I did."

"That courtship is a serious business where both parties are victim and victor."

He stepped closer, bringing her hand to his mouth to kiss the palm of it, "I did."

"And you said that, when the time came, when neither us wanted anyone or anything else, that's when we would have sex."

"I did."

She looked up at him, "I want it now John."

His eyes widened, "Are you sure?"

"I wanted sex with you when I flashed you my panties over the bar," They laughed but Anna quickly became serious, "But now, I want you John."

John tugged on her hand, "Then you'll have me."

They collected their coats, leaving the party and the noise behind. Andy brought the limo around faster than Anna thought possible and delivered them to her doorstep in record time without collecting flashing lights on their tail. She still could not tell how they kept from sprinting across the lobby but they managed to make it to the elevator at a reasonable pace.

Inside though…

Anna was back against the wall of the elevator with John's hand at her waist and the other holding her neck to give him all the access he needed to her mouth. She clung to his jacket with one hand and the other flexed into the hair at his scalp. He moaned when her nails scratched there and she barely managed to hit the button for her floor with an elbow as the doors closed.

His hand moved up her back, gliding over the material of her dress, while his mouth sucked at hers. She thrust her tongue between them and he responded by taking it into his mouth, not losing hold of her. The ding of the bell in the background had John pulling her from the elevator and into the hallway.

They stumbled along, neither wanting to lose their hold on the other. When Anna did have to move herself away, digging in her purse for the keys, she felt him at her neck, kissing up to her ear before biting down. Her hands went to the door, holding herself up when she wanted to do nothing more than sink to the floor.

Fumbling the keys into the lock, she turned the handle and they managed to make it inside. He shut the door with his foot and Anna backed him against it. The lock flipped in place as Anna took John's mouth back.

Her purse and keys barely made it onto the hall table, wobbling on the edge a moment but she did not notice or care. His coat hit the floor with a satisfying thud and her coat soon joined it. When his hands trailed up her arms, skimming the silk of her dress and sometimes moving it over her skin, Anna shivered.

She pulled him toward her room, missing the light switch on the wall but barely caring when he backed her to the bed. Anna hit it with her knees and fell back as he put his knees on either side of her hips and continued kissing her. The duvet under her scratched with the sound of their clothing on it but Anna did not want to risk a moment away from him.

It was John who took a step back. Placing one lingering kiss on her, he tipped back to remove his jacket. He stepped over to drape it on the back of the chair in her room while she watched. Two shoes, right after the other, hit the floor with the socks following after.

In the dim light Anna stared at John, transfixed as he unhooked his collar, slipped off his tie, and carefully managed the cuffs of his shirt before slipping it and the waistcoat off. His large hands, almost too large for something as small and fine as the buttons on his trousers, moved them easily to strip down to just his pants. In a moment those were gone too and Anna felt her mouth go dry as he stalked back to her.

Anna lifted herself onto her elbows as John took a knee at the end of the bed. He stared at her as he lifted her right foot. He slipped the heel from her foot, placing it carefully to the side. The left foot soon felt freedom, followed by a quiet thump of the heel meeting the floor. He worked his hands up the outside of her dress, skimming over her, legs and up her chest to reach her neck again.

John took her face in his hands and made sure she looked right at him before continuing, "If, at any point, you don't feel comfortable I want you to tell me."

"How could I-"

"Anna," His tone grew serious, "Promise you'll tell me."

"I promise." Anna pulled his lips to hers, "For now, please don't stop."

He kissed her back as his hands slithered down to her hips. They held there a moment before he lifted to her sit on the bed. With him leaning over her Anna could almost imagine he engulfed her but she never felt safer.

One hand found the zipper at the back of her dress and the other skimmed to her breasts. The zip echoed over the room, a bass line to Anna's moans when John ran his hands over her. His hand at her breast continued his ministrations while the other pulled the ties at her elbows loose enough to push the top of her dress off.

Anna pulled her hands free, bringing them back up to John's face while she lifted her hips so he could finish removing her dress. He ended their kiss to pull the dress off her legs and place it with his clothes on the chair. When he returned Anna waited on the edge of the bed.

John kneeled down in front of her again and ran his hands up her legs to her hips, slipping under the elastic of her knickers. "You told me that you could count on one hand the number of times you've enjoyed sex."

Anna nodded, sending her head bobbing almost uncontrollably when John teased a finger over the top of her sex. He grinned up at her and pulled her knickers down farther. She raised herself on her hands so he could pull them the rest of the way down. Unlike her dress, which he showed care for, he tossed her knickers away without another thought.

"I promise, every time you have sex with me, you'll enjoy it."

"Will I?" Anna's tongue weighed heavy in her mouth, dry with anticipation as John brought his mouth near hers.

"Yes." He did not kiss her, just leaving his mouth near hers. "Do you want me to continue Anna?"

She nodded her head but he did not move, "I need you to say it, Anna. Do you want me to continue?"

"Yes."

"As you wish." He kissed her, pushing her back to the bed before moving back to his knees. "If you want me to stop, just say so."

But she did not want him to stop. He kissed down her body, paying careful attention to her breasts, even through her bra, and her stomach. His lips ran a wet trail down to her hips. There he left a ring of burning kisses while his hands smoothed up and down her thighs.

When he first kissed the top of her sex Anna let out a sigh. A moment later he spread her legs enough to fit his shoulders and took her nerve bundle in his mouth. She arched her back, her hands coming to the back of his head to press him closer. He responded with vigor, licking and sucking over her folds before plunging his tongue inside her.

Anna dug her fingers into his hair, tugging at it as her only means of communication. John ran the flat of his tongue over her before thrusting in again, moving like a man trying to lick her completely clean. She panted, unable to expand her lungs to pull in more air, and John brought his fingers around to touch where his tongue proved an enthusiastic participant in his perfect seduction.

With his fingers entering her Anna saw spots on her vision. One of her hands went to the bedspread, strangling it in her grip, as he added a third finger and curled inside her. She sat up on the bed, almost sobbing as she tugged his head to hers. His fingers continued inside her as Anna attacked his mouth. She located every trace of herself on him, sucking him dry in time with his final move of his fingers inside her.

Anna cried out his name, throwing her head back to the mattress. John kissed over her neck, riding through her spasms with slow massages, and waited until her body calmed. He drew his fingers from her and licked over them while she watched.

"Anna," John ran a hand through her hair, "I told you before, I love you, and I want you to know that's truer now than it was then. I'll always-"

"I love you too." Anna interrupted him, "I love you John."

He kissed her again, moving them up the bed and resting between her legs. She reached into her bedside table and pulled out a package. John caught sight of it and shook his head. Anna raised an eyebrow but John reached over her into the drawer, digging around until he found the package he needed.

Anna grinned as he tore it open and went to put it on. She stole it from his hand, rolling it over him herself. His eyes rolled back into his head as she touched him and then settled back.

He lined them up and slid slowly into her. Anna moaned at the feeling of him inside her and wrapped her legs around his waist when he went to pull out. His hand interlaced with hers, the other running up her back to unlatch her bra. They broke apart long enough for her to drop it over the side and John thrust in again.

The rhythm started slow, both of them getting used to the other. Anna immediately recognized that when she ran her fingers down his back he shivered. John found her breasts sensitive enough to send her into sobs of ecstasy when he kissed them. Their speed increased and Anna pulled his mouth to hers again.

She felt herself rising to the edge again and his hand rasped down her body to work at her center. She tore from his mouth, heaving in breaths as he kissed her breasts again. John sucked at them, taking her nipples in his mouth as he suckled there with enough concerted attention to send her spiraling over the edge for the second time.

With another few thrusts he finished, barely holding himself over her. Anna wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him to her and holding him there. He shifted a moment, pulling from her to remove the condom. She tugged the covers down, feeling the edge of chill on her body as John came back. He crawled under the blankets with her, laying next to her.

They lay on their sides, John running a hand over her arm while Anna played with his hair. He smiled at her, "I guess you've had you're way with me."

Both of them burst into giggles that had Anna burying her head in the pillows a minute before looking him in the eye. She leaned over to kiss his forehead before settling back on her pillow, "I just hope you don't live to regret it."

"I couldn't regret it." He took her hand, moving his fingers between hers. "No matter what comes I'm convinced that I'm now the person I was meant to be."

"I'm not the easiest person to be around." Anna bit her lip, "And I know I'm not worthy of you. You've done so much for me and I've been horribly ungrateful and sometimes sod all but you keep being wonderful. After everything I've done and been through there're a lot of people who'll say I dragged you into my troubles or that you're a fool for having stuck by me."

"Anna," John put a hand on her cheek, "I think you've waited long enough to be happy. Now that I'm here for you can that be enough? Even if its just tonight, can that be enough?"

Anna nodded, not willing to risk crying as the tears pricked at her eyes, "It's enough."

John leaned over to kiss her, pulling her closer in the process. "Then just go to sleep knowing I'll be here in the morning, that I love you, and you will always be loved by me. Can you do that?"

"I think I can." Anna settled on his shoulder, "I love you John."

"I love you Anna."


	11. Summit of All Fears

Anna opened her eyes and felt behind her on the bed but the spot was empty. The sheets still held a little warmth and as she sat up, putting a hand through her hair, she squinted around the room. John's clothes were gone from the chair and her dress hung in the closet with her shoes back in their slot.

Pushing out of the covers Anna grabbed her dressing gown from the back of her door and tied it around her waist before padding into the hallway. Noises drew her to the kitchen where she saw John, wearing his shirt and trousers from the night before with her apron around his neck, dug in her cabinets. She smiled to herself and leaned on the counter, "I don't usually get treated to breakfast."

He glanced up, grinning at her, "Well, I thought it the least I could do."

"This is the least?" Anna scoffed, "It'd hate to see what you think of other people's least."

"How'd you mean?"

"I've had boyfriends who never did more than bring me the wrong order from a coffee shop and acted like it was a privilege they bought me anything at all."

"I admit I don't know your coffee order but since all you have in your kitchen is tea I'd suspect you don't drink coffee." John leaned over the counter to kiss her, "Good morning, by the way."

"Morning." She beamed at him, taking one of the chairs at her island. "What's on the menu?"

"I've had to be a bit inventive." John showed her the contents of her fridge and Anna cringed, "But the little shop up your street is twenty-four hours so I got everything I needed."

"I don't know if a more perfect man has ever walked the face of the earth."

"That depends on which religion you follow I guess," John cracked some eggs into a pan, "I do hope you're not secretly vegan."

"No." Anna paused, "Why, would that end the relationship in a hurry?"

"It might cause some damage," John leaned over, making a conspiratorial face, "What if I wanted to cook meat for you? I'd lose all chance of impressing you."

"I think you impressed me enough last night, John." She snickered when he fumbled with something on the counter, "Given that performance, I think I'd change nationalities if that's what it took to eat anything you'd make me."

"That's good to know. Regardless, a man can never be too careful when seeking to impress a lady."

"I'm not a lady."

"But you are," John held Anna's gaze and she swore she blushed, "And I never knew a finer one."

"Charmer."

"I try." John went back to manning the food, "I hope you like omelets."

They talked as John cooked, narrowly missing setting off the smoke detector when he was too busy kissing Anna over the island at one point and burned a corner of an omelet. He joined her, both eating off one another's plates as they talked about his new line of drinks for the Swans. Anna insisted on paying for the campaign to market them and eventually John gave in to her.

When Anna finally set her fork down and pushed the plate away she caught John staring at her, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Yes, but don't worry," He leaned forward, "I'll get it."

His lips met hers and Anna wrapped her arms around his neck. A moment later he lifted her out of her chair, holding her to him. Anna gripped tightly, bringing her legs around to lock at his back, and tilted her head just a tad sideways to better access John's mouth.

Better than his cooking, she decided when he swept the inside of her mouth with his tongue, was his kissing. He set her on the island and worked a hand up her leg. Anna lifted the back of the apron off his neck and John risked the half-second it took to untie it at the back and toss it into his abandoned chair. He was back to running his hands up and down her legs, sending shivers down Anna's spine as she pulled him closer to her.

His hands ventured farther up and Anna gasped away from his mouth as he teased her legs apart. Her fingers dug into the back of neck, raking through his hair when he stroked down and back up again. With her eyes closed and her head back, she moaned as he worked one finger inside her while bringing his lips to her neck.

He worked his mouth downward, sucking and licking at her skin while his fingers massaged inside her. Just at the point Anna thought he reached the height of his abilities he pushed her dressing gown aside enough to pull one of her breasts into his mouth. The design of her kitchen, though perhaps not built with acoustics in mind, reverberated the shriek of ecstasy Anna gave off.

"You know," Anna could barely hear his voice over her own panting when John slipped a second finger into her, spreading her wide, "I think I should've taken more time with you last night."

"What?" She gasped, struggling to focus when his thumb flicked over her nerves, sending shocks and zings through her spasming body.

"I thought I adored you last night but I don't think that's true," He looked at her, sliding a third finger inside her. "I didn't watch you closely enough when you came."

"It's nothing to see." Anna hauled in air, her lungs shrieking for it as all the muscles in her body contracted around his fingers.

"But it is Anna," John kissed back to her neck, her dressing gown fully open as his other hand kneaded over her breasts, pinching at her nipples, "You're beautiful when you're completely free."

She gave in then. With his lips back on her breasts and his fingers caressing her from the inside it was all Anna could do to even manage basic functions. Any of the energy she had she invested in holding onto his neck as she broke, sobbing his name when he sent her over the edge in her kitchen. Her vision dotted and her chest rose and fell faster than she thought possible but eventually she came back to earth.

Anna glanced down and saw John remove his fingers, tracing over her for a moment before taking them one by one into his mouth to suck them dry. She waited until he finished and pulled him close, kissing him as lazily as she could while trying to taste him. He held at her hips, slipping her off the counter, and carrying her back to her room.

The bed, still with ruffled blankets and sheets from the night before, surrounded Anna. With John above her there were few better feelings in the world. But, with a push at his shoulder, Anna decided it was not enough.

John lay back, grinning at her as Anna unbuttoned his shirt slowly. She kissed at each new patch of skin with the same care he lavished over her the night before. When she covered his chest in her affections John sat up just enough to let her pull the shirt from him. However, to the raise of his eyebrows and overall confusion, Anna did not drop it off the side of the bed. Instead she removed her dressing gown before wrapped herself in his shirt and smiled at him while reaching into the drawer next to her bed to find the right package.

"You robbed me this morning John."

"Did I?" He shifted under her and Anna had to catch her breath when she felt him through his trousers, hard and ready beneath her.

"Well I couldn't wear your shirt," She only buttoned the center three buttons, to keep the fabric over her but still giving John the view he obviously enjoyed since his gaze did not return to her face. "And while I loved seeing you in my apron I'd rather that was all you wore."

"Next time I make you breakfast I'll remember that." He ran a hand up her hip, losing it under the fabric of his shirt as she ground down on him.

"Or I'll do it when I make you breakfast." Anna reached under herself, sitting up on her knees, to pull the zipper of his trousers down. "But you also robbed me last night."

"I'm the worst." John's breath hitched as Anna caressed a hand over him, feeling the pulsing and twitches of his response to her motions.

"While I enjoyed the view," Anna dipped her head to kiss at his hip, "I think I'd rather undress you next time. It'll give me a chance to really show you how I feel."

"Will it?"

"Yes. But that's next time." Anna moved John's trousers down his legs and took up position on his thighs while ripping the package open. "For now, I think there's somewhere else you want to be."

"Yes," John's eyes rolled back into his head when Anna ran a hand up him before rolling the condom down.

"Then it's my turn to spoil you." He tried to rise but Anna pushed him back, "Let me do all the heavy lifting this time."

"You're no lighter than a feather."

"Then this should be easy."

Anna raised herself, using her hands on his chest for leverage, and sunk down. He struck deeper than he did the night before and Anna had thought that was the epitome of experience. She twisted before rising up again to sink back down.

John grabbed at the tails of his shirt, his knuckles going white as Anna shifted and moved on him. After a moment he slid his hand to her waist. The point of contact burned and Anna sighed with it. That sent John into overdrive and he met her thrust for thrust, plunging in as deeply as he could.

Scrabbling at him, Anna pulled him up to attack his mouth while her other hand scratched down his chest. She tangled in the hair at the back of his head and tugged at the hair on his chest. He gripped tighter at her waist, slipping his other hand between them to rub at her center.

Anna broke from his lips to moan and he nipped and sucked at her neck in response. Her hand joined his at her core, guiding his motions while struggling to pull his shoulders as if they could get any closer. His hips pistoned into her and Anna gyrated to counter him.

Finally he broke, calling out her name as he held her close. Anna only took a minute more, accepting his final thrusts and his insistent hand, to peak with him. She slumped over his shoulders and felt them falling back to the bed. His chest lifted her up and down as he tried to breathe and she matched him breath for breath.

After a moment John raised his head to kiss her, running a hand through her hair. She sighed, holding him close before sitting up. He smiled, unbuttoning the shirt to run his hands over her chest unimpeded.

"Next time I might ask that we're both fully exposed for this."

"Will you?" Anna pulled her wrists from the cuffs and let the shirt drop over the side. "And why's that?"

"Because seeing you in my clothes might be too much for me next time and I'll not be in control of myself."

"And who wanted that?" Anna kissed along his jaw, bending her torso above his again, "The whole point is that we're free, isn't it?"

"I guess," He rubbed over her back, "Can I ask you something?"

"Didn't you just?" She grinned at him and squealed when he tickled her side.

"Cheeky," John kissed her quickly, "But I wanted to know if it'd be too much to ask if I can call you my girlfriend."

"Oh?" Anna sat up, "And what do you get from that?"

"Except to say that I'm yours and you're mine?" John's voice was quiet, any of the joking gone.

"Except that." Anna swallowed, "What else do you get John?"

"I get you, Anna." John sat up, slipping out of her and quickly managing the condom while Anna sat cross-legged on her bed. "That's all I want."

"You said something like that last night."

"And I meant it," John put his hand to her face, "I've never met anyone like you and I've never loved like I love you."

Anna took his hand from her face and kissed it. She kept her focus on his hand, stroking over it before smiling up at him. Her vision distorted a little as she felt the tears there. "No one's ever said anything that beautiful to me."

"Well, as I once heard, beautiful things deserve beautiful things." John pulled his hand back, taking hers with it. "I think beautiful people deserve beautiful things and beautiful words too."

"Do we?" Anna giggled as John dragged her back over to him, "I think I could get used to that."

"Good," John set Anna back on his lap and she gasped slightly when she felt him between them. "Because I intend to show you that it's not changing. Ever."

* * *

Anna felt all eyes on her when she finally arrived at work. Talbot waited outside her office, playing with something on his phone, but stuffed it quickly in his pocket when she approached. She watched the way he looked her up and down before grinning. She ignored him, unlocking her office door and pushing inside as he followed.

"Well, if that's not the after glow then I've never had sex." Talbot took his seat as Anna removed her coat and placed it over the back of her chair. "I wasn't the only one who saw you and Mr. Bates escape the opening early."

"It's only escape if someone was holding you hostage." Anna sat, holding her chin high, "We snuck out, there's a difference."

"And I'm sure it made a difference to him." Talbot leaned forward. "How was it?"

"Are we really going to gossip about how good it was? We're not in secondary school." Anna turned on her computer and pulled a few things out of her bag before locking it in the bottom drawer of her desk. "Because if that's why you're here the door's behind you."

"No," Talbot held up his hands, "I'm here to say congratulations on a successful reopening. We're the headline for three of the major five papers and, thanks to Mary's performance, we've had four calls just this morning for bookings."

"Run those by Gwen."

"You're putting the DJ in charge of bookings?"

"She's the one who has to work around the live acts and it's only fair," Anna sat back, "Besides, I think she's got a handle on the aesthetic we're looking for. She signed Ethel for the Scarlet and I think that deserves a bit of recognition."

"Alright," Talbot made a note on a pad, "I'll tell Mrs. Hughes to have Gwen come talk to you."

"No," Anna shook her head, "I'll do it. You're not the assistant manager here. You've got your own place to run."

"Speaking of," Talbot smiled at her, "Thank you for what you said last night. It was the loveliest thing I think anyone's ever said about me in public."

"Henry," Anna took his hand, "It's no more than you deserve."

"Still, my gratitude."

"I'm sure you can show your gratitude better when we're reading all about your success with the Scarlet."

"Speaking of reading," Talbot pulled out his phone again and tapped at something, "I think there's something you need to read."

Anna took the phone and scrolled through the article, raising an eyebrow before looking back at Talbot, "Explains why he was spitting blood the last time he was here."

"Yeah, I'd think a visit by the Fraud Squad's enough to knock anyone off kilter." Talbot took his phone back, "But it could come back to us. My friend over there, Charlie, tells me it's a full investigation and that means all his business dealings for at least the last seven years."

"Lovely." Anna ran a hand over her face, "Just what we need. Another headline for the Cerulean."

"I think the fact you kicked his ass to the curb when you did should stand in our favor but I'd suggest we get a numbers man on it, just to make sure our accounts are in order."

"Who're you using at the Scarlet these days?"

"His name's Drewe. Very dependable."

"Good. We'll have him do it."

"Alright," Talbot stood, "Anything else you need from me?"

"Just your continued support." Anna shook his hand, "And I stand by what I said last night Henry. I couldn't have done this without you."

Talbot put his other hand over hers before breaking grip. "And you won't ever have to. Always a pleasure Anna."

When Talbot left Anna got to work. She called Drewe and the man really was as good as Talbot claimed. He came within the hour and immediately set to work looking over their books to certify everything. By the time he finished, shirtsleeves rolled to his elbows, he confirmed Anna's books were all in order and offered to provide a statement should the Fraud Squad take an interest in it later. Anna thanked him and offered him a retainer for their franchise. He politely refused the request for the time being.

Mrs. Hughes came later and Anna discussed the decision to move musical selections to Gwen's hands, which Mrs. Hughes hardily agreed was the best decision, and they drew up an expanded contract Gwen signed within minutes. They discussed their live performances and both Gwen and Mrs. Hughes agreed to contact the interested parties to create a set list appropriate for the days they wanted and work on related advertisements.

The day had gone so well Anna almost believed it a dream. Especially the moment John arrived at her office with a single rose. He held it out to her and Anna kissed him on the cheek before taking it.

"You spoil me, Mr. Bates." She slipped it into the slim glass vase on her desk.

"I'd like to spoil you on that desk," John wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and Anna closed her eyes as he kissed her neck.

"You did promise me that once."

"I did." His hand slid up to brush against her breast through her shirt.

Anna sighed but pulled away, "Unfortunately I need to be down on the floor. It's the first official night since we reopened and I'd hate to leave my guests waiting."

"Well, if you must." John pouted but kissed the back of her hand. "Should I wait for you here?"

"If you want I think you could make the rounds with me." Anna pulled him toward the door, "You are my boyfriend after all and I think you should answer any questions about the drinks."

"Sounds like a plan." John put his hands on either side of her face, kissing her softly, "I'd go anywhere with you."

"Then downstairs should be easy."

They took the back stairs, Anna wanting to confirm a few things with Phyllis and Mrs. Patmore before she took to the main floor. Mrs. Hughes nodded over at them from where she was explaining an allergen issue with a table and Anna stopped at the bar. Tom waved John to help him and Anna nudged him over.

"I think you'll do well helping him a minute."

John kissed her forehead and ducked behind the bar, helping Tom suggest drinks to a party of what looked like a bachelorette hoping to get smashed before a wedding. Anna shook her head and walked to Carson, standing vigil at the door.

"Anyone interesting Mr. Carson?"

"There is a party of two that wanted to pay their compliments to the owner if it was possible. They complimented the decor and wanted to discuss possible rental for a wedding party."

"Where are they?" Anna eyed the group and Carson pointed to a table for two in the middle of the floor. "Better go and see if I can get us good business."

Anna weaved through the chairs, thanking the few who recognized her and congratulated her on the reopening. She spent a few minutes with them, waving down Moseley to get them complimentary drinks before stopping at the table Carson pointed to. The man sat with his back to her across from a lovely looking woman, all smiles and bright teeth.

When Anna moved to face both of them she felt the bottom of her stomach drop out. Her hands shook and she had to wrap them into fists until her knuckles whitened and she felt her nails dig into her palms before she could speak. She cleared her throat, choking on the dryness, and tried to smile but just felt like someone was pulling her face to the side.

"My door manager indicated you wanted to ask about wedding planning."

"Yes," The man smiled, beaming at the woman across from him, "My name's Larry Merton and this is my fiancé, Amelia. We're planning our wedding for three months from now and we'd been at a loss for a venue until we heard about your reopening and thought, 'This place looks perfect.' Didn't we Amelia?"

"Oh," Amelia put a hand to her chest, "I almost died when I saw the pictures. How did you ever create this place? It's a masterpiece."

"It is, isn't it?" Anna cleared her throat, "So you're getting married?"

"Yes," Amelia grabbed Larry's hand, "We've been engaged a month now and I don't know how I could love him more."

"I'm sure I know how you could love him less." Anna heard the words slip out of her mouth before she could stop herself and saw their faces fall.

"Excuse me?" Amelia shook her head, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean I hope you know that this man is a predator." Anna turned back to Larry, "Do you even remember?"

"Remember what?" Larry looked between Anna and Amelia, "Honestly darling I've no idea what she's on about. But if it's a joke it's in pretty poor taste."

"No joke. However I'm actually glad you like this place," Anna pointed to the scenery around them, "It was built with your money."

"My money? What do you mean I never gave money to-" Larry scrunched his face but then paled. His jaw gaped like a fish sucking for air before he spluttered in response, "You?"

"That's right, me." Anna motioned for Carson, "And I think it's time you both left, before this whole thing gets worse."

"Larry, what's going on?" Amelia reached for Larry's hand but he pulled away from her. "Larry, who's this woman to you?"

"Your fiancé is the man who raped me when I was at Uni," Anna turned to Amelia, "And every year he pays me a part of a lifetime settlement so he doesn't have to take his miserable ass to prison."

"Settlement?"

"For rape." Anna stepped back as Carson came to the table, "These two've changed their minds. They're taking their business elsewhere, unfortunately."

"Larry?" Amelia's voice rose to a shrill shriek, bringing glares from those around them, "Is what she's saying true?"

"You can read about it in the paper if you want." Anna kept her focus on Larry, "Yorkshire post from fifteen years ago. It's there in a headline about how a local boy spent a night in jail for attacking a junkie in an alley."

"It wasn't what it looked like," Larry defended as Carson put a heavy hand on the man's shoulder, "It was a misunderstanding."

"Then why pay her Larry?" Amelia put a hand on her chest as Mrs. Hughes hurried over, "When were you going to tell me that we'd be taking an expense like that every year?"

"Amelia I-"

Amelia slapped him loud enough to bring everyone's attention to them before storming out of the restaurant. Carson patted Larry's shoulder, "I'd suggest you make your way to the door before I grab you by collar and britches and toss you out myself."

Larry stumbled sideways, digging in his billfold for a few bills before tossing them on the table. He only met Anna's eyes for a second before ducking his head and leaving the restaurant. Anna took a deep breath and turned to Mrs. Hughes, "Please make sure neither Larry Merton nor his fiancé, Amelia whatever her last name is, are allowed in the Cerulean again. And please put them on a no-entrance list with the Scarlet."

"Of course." Mrs. Hughes disappeared and Anna turned to Carson.

"I think I'll be off early. Don't hesitate to tell me if there are any other problems."

"I'll let you know Ms. Smith."

Anna went back up to her office, dumping her things into her bag and grabbing her coat. She was almost to the door when it opened and John stood there. They faced one another, John with open hands and Anna with one arm in her coat. She worked the other arm in, refusing to look at him, and went to push past him for the door.

"Anna," John stepped in front of her. "What was that?"

"Get out of my way John."

"I just want to know how I can help."

"You can't help this John." Anna tried to move for the door, "Get out of the way now please."

"Who was that man?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does or you wouldn't be leaving right now." John pointed to her, "You're shaking, Anna."

"I'm fine. I just need to go home."

"Then let me take you."

"I don't need your help." Anna brushed off his attempt to touch her.

"I'm just offering to drive you home."

"I have my own car, thank you. I drove myself here and I can drive home." Anna made for the door again but John stopped her. She glared at him, "Move or I'll make you."

John shook his head and stepped to the side, "Anna I'm on your side."

"Then stay on that side." Anna pushed through the door. "I know how to manage this and I intend to manage it on my own."

"But you don't have to manage it alone, Anna," John followed her down the back stairs.

"You're not involved in this John and it's none of your concern." Anna shoved at the exit door, making for her car in the carpark.

"I'm your boyfriend Anna," John slipped in front of her, and Anna could barely contain her snort of rage. "Those aren't just words I say to you in the heat of the moment. They mean that I'm here for everything. Every tear, every frustration, every bad moment."

"I don't need that."

"Then what do you need?"

"I-" Anna growled, "I don't know what I need but it's not you right now."

"So that's it?" John threw up his hands, "You'll go home to your empty apartment and open a bottle of wine to drown your sorrows?"

"Better than when I used to snort cocaine to do it so rest easy knowing I'm not falling off that wagon."

"Anna I don't worry about you falling off the wagon. I worry about how you're feeling and I know you don't need to drown your sorrows. Not if you can tell me what's wrong."

"What's wrong is that you're still in my way when I want to leave."

"Anna-" John came toward her but Anna batted his arm away.

"Leave me alone John."

"So you only want me for sex and to make good business deals with you but you don't want me when you need someone most?" John nodded, stepping to the side, "If that's how you want it then I don't think we want the same things."

"Excuse me?"

"I told you this morning and last night that I'm here for the long haul. That includes all your worst moments, not just the ones where I send you to orgasm. I'm here for when you run into the man who raped you, Anna."

Anna gaped at him, "How'd you know?"

"You don't think I did my research on you?" John scoffed, "I looked up everything I could find on you before I went into business with you. And after you told me what happened when we ate at the Beast I looked deeper. I wanted to know everything there was to know about you because I cared about you. I wanted to be there for you if the moment ever came that you needed me."

"This isn't that moment."

"Obviously not." John waved toward her car. "Go then. Drive yourself back to your flat, wallow in your misery instead of realizing you're not the same person you were in that alley. You're better than he is Anna. You always were and always will be. What he is or what's happening to him now don't matter anymore."

"He's getting married, John."

"So?"

"He doesn't deserve to be happy!"

"It's not about deserve, Anna!" John raked hands through his hair, "The world's not fair and never will be. So what if he's getting married? It's got nothing to do with you."

"You'd side with him? After what he did to me?"

"I'm siding with you, Anna." John threw his arms into the air, "What happened to you was horrible and I wanted to find that man and punch him until either he stopped breathing or I ran out of energy. I wanted it so badly I saw red. But then I realized it doesn't matter. Nothing I do to him will change what happened to you. All that mattered was being there for you now, helping you move forward, supporting you for the future."

"Well, thanks for that."

"He doesn't matter, Anna."

"Then why did I feel like I was back in that alley the moment I laid eyes on him?" Anna tried to control her emotions, feeling them well up inside her. "Why did I feel like my world was crashing down all over again?"

"Because it hurts Anna. It'll always hurt because it was traumatic, because it was life changing, because it was evil. But you can't change that. All you can change is you, right now."

"You don't understand." Anna hung her head, "You'll never understand."

"Then help me understand Anna." John came toward her, taking her hands in his but she yanked them away. "Tell me how to understand."

"Go the lowest point you've ever been and live there until you claw out. Then you'll understand." Anna opened her car door, "I'm going home and I don't want you to follow me."

"Anna, please don't do this."

"Goodbye John." Anna slammed the door shut and peeled out of the carpark.


	12. Edges of Sanity

It might have been a gentle knock but with the pounding in Anna's head it felt like someone decided to take a battering ram to her skull. She lifted herself off the couch, trying to suck enough spit to counter the cottonmouth feeling, and blinked at the bright light streaming through her window. Standing had her swaying a moment and she reached for the back of the couch for balance before making for the door.

Anna peeked through the door and groaned before opening it to see Mary there. Mary held her purse in the crook of her arm and removed her sunglasses slowly, raking Anna up and down with pursed lips. Anna stepped back, waving Mary into her apartment.

"Not sure if I want to enter the Pit of Despair."

"Either you come in or I shut the door and go back to sleep. There's no in-between Mary."

"Fine, but I reserve the right to Febreeze anything that smells even remotely like fetid alcohol." Mary stepped into the hallway and scrunched her nose, "Did you even make it through a whole bottle."

"Before of after I vomited in the toilet?" Anna pulled her dressing gown from where it slipped down her shoulder, "Because the answer, in general terms, is that I made it through two."

"I hope the second bottle was the cheap stuff," Mary dusted at the edge of a chair cushion before sitting just on the edge. "I'd hate to think you wasted two good bottles on this nose dive."

"If you're here to insult me then-"

"The door's behind me and all that," Mary waved off the retort as Anna sank back into her couch, putting her head back and closing her eyes. "What happened Anna?"

"That depends," Anna cracked one eye open at her, "What day is it?"

"Well, it's Sunday morning but in," Mary checked her phone, "Ten minutes it'll be Sunday afternoon. Don't you work today?"

"I work everyday," Anna blinked, leaning forward to hang her head between her knees and run her fingers through her hair. She wrapped them at the back of her neck, trying to clear her head, "I need to get ready."

"You're hung over."

"No shit, Mary." Anna sat up, "That's what happens when you drink two bottles of wine."

"Hm," Mary picked the bottles off the table and checked the labels. "Both cheap… must've been quite the night for you."

"Don't joke."

"I'm not." Mary put them back, "I asked Mrs. Hughes and she said you got into a argument of sorts with some of your patrons. When I asked Carson he described them to me and when I checked the register I found the name."

"And now you've come to see if I'm clean?" Anna pushed up her sleeves, "No nosebleeds, no needle marks, I only drown my sorrows with alcohol now."

"That wasn't what brought me here."

"Then what?"

"That would be the ten calls I got, twice an hour, mind you, until one am when I finally told him to sod off so I could sleep. He wouldn't hang up until I promised to see how you were." Mary smiled to herself, "I didn't tell him what time but that's not really important."

Anna pinched the bridge of her nose, "I need to get ready Mary."

"I know you do." Mary played with something on her phone before holding it out to Anna. "Talk to him."

"No," Anna pushed the phone away, hearing the ringing."

"You'll talk to him if I have to wrestle you to the floor and hold the phone to your ear."

"No," Anna grabbed the phone and hit 'end'. "I don't want to talk to him."

"Because he had the temerity to actually try and comfort you?" Mary stood, "You always were such an abysmal martyr Anna."

"Don't bring that up now."

"Why not? You haven't listened any other time I've told you." Mary rolled her eyes, "I'd call a service because I don't think you should drive in your condition."

"Mary-"

"No, Anna," Mary faced her from the hallway, "I'm not going to stand by and pretend that what you're doing to yourself is alright. It's not. Either you call John and apologize for being a right twat to him last night or we never see one another again."

"You'd hold out on our friendship because I won't see my boyfriend?"

"I don't think you have the right to call him that after how you treated him." Mary pulled her purse to her shoulder. "And yes, I would. He's the best you're ever going to find and he's mad about you. But he's not so mad he'd be kicked around by you when you say you don't need him around and crawl back at your convenience."

"Neither of you understand."

"No, and you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you won't let anyone understand Anna. You'd rather wallow in your misery alone than let anyone help you." Mary shook her head, "I'm done with it."

"Mary-"

The door slammed and Anna threw herself back to her couch.

* * *

Anna squinted at the lights and downed four aspirin with a glass of water Tom pushed toward her. He cringed as she motioned toward the tomato juice and he topped off her water glass with it. "Rough night?"

"I don't know," Anna drank the glass down and grimaced, "How bad is two bottles of wine Tom?"

"Depends on the brand."

"Cheap."

"Bad."

Anna groaned, "How were the tabs last night?"

"Fantastic. That bachelorette party almost drank our red wine dry." Tom pointed to the bar, "I've got to admit, Mr. Bates is a real charmer. He convinced them to really invest."

"No kidding." Anna pushed off the stool, "Could you bring me a jug of Fruit Medley and more water?"

"Sure thing." Tom pointed at her, "I'll take it to your office."

"Yeah, I need to go over last night's receipts with Mrs. Hughes." Anna walked to her office and nodded at Mrs. Hughes.

"Sorry to pull you in on your day off."

"It's alright. Last night seemed a bit stressful for you and I thought it best not to press." Mrs. Hughes took her chair, different from the one Talbot always took. "But all in all I think last night' receipts were promising."

"Think we're riding a bubble?"

"Of course we are but the numbers are comparable to where we were before the fire." Mrs. Hughes consulted her list, "Other than a allergy complaint everyone spoke well of the service. Tips were good too."

"That's always good to hear." Anna smiled as Tom entered the office, dropping the jug of Fruit Medley and a large bottle of water on her desk. "Thanks Tom."

"I also informed the Scarlet about the individuals to be refused from the premise." Mrs. Hughes paused, "Though I'm curious if it's a personal reason."

"Entirely personal, Mrs. Hughes."

"Then I won't press. It's your business and I respect the decision was made with the best intentions in mind."

"Not sure if I'd say that." Anna went to say something else when she heard something from the main floor.

Both she and Mrs. Hughes walked to the window and looked down. Anna closed her eyes, shaking her head and taking a deep breath before pushing from the window. She almost yanked her door off its hinges when she opened it, taking the main stairs down to where Tom and Carson argued with the couple at the door.

"Look, if you'll just tell her who we are-" The woman simpered but Carson shook his head.

"We're not open yet but if you want to make an appointment-"

"We're her parents we don't need an appointment." The man tried to push forward. "We'll see her now."

"Mr. Smith I don't think-"

"Mr. Carson," Anna stopped just short, holding her head high when she saw her mother and stepfather. "I think I should take this to my office."

"Aren't you in a meeting."

"I was but I think Mrs. Hughes and I were finished." Anna gestured, "Please escort them to my office Mr. Carson."

"If that's what you want Ms. Smith."

"It's not but it's what has to happen." Anna walked back up the stairs to see Mrs. Hughes still in her office. "I'm sorry Mrs. Hughes but I think I need to take another meeting."

"Would you like me to wait?"

Anna wanted nothing more than to have Mrs. Hughes there but shook her head, "Another private conversation I'm afraid."

"If you insist," Mrs. Hughes walked to the door, "I'll be just outside if you need me or Mr. Carson."

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes." Anna went behind her desk, pressing her fingers on the top, as if to remind herself where she stood. A knock at the door drew her attention to where Carson stood with the couple. Anna motioned for them to enter and they took the seats Talbot and Mrs. Hughes occupied.

Anna remained standing, pressing her fingers down another minute before folding her arms, "What do you want?"

"Can't a mother come to congratulate her daughter?"

"You had that opportunity when I opened the Cerulean the first time, mother." Anna sucked the inside of her cheek, "Ten years ago."

"But you never told us."

"Maybe because I didn't want you to come." Anna stopped herself a moment, taking a breath to try and stop her heart beating out of her chest, "Why now?"

"We saw the advert in the paper about the place you opened in York, with Charles Blake. We even ate there Anna."

"Did you?" Anna risked a look at her stepfather, "I hope you enjoyed it."

"It was delicious," Her mother put her hand on her husband's chair, "Wasn't it wonderful dear?"

"The wine selection was lovely."

"We only buy the best." Anna shifted her feet, "Well, thank you for the compliments but I think you should leave now."

"But we wanted to eat here tonight." Her mother's voice sounded almost frantic. "We came all the way to have dinner with you Anna, spend time with you."

"I thought you made it clear you didn't want anything to do with me when I went to rehab." Anna turned to her stepfather, "How's the leg?"

"Twinges when it rains."

"Good."

"Anna," Her mother sighed, "What happened then was a result of you being on that horrible poison."

"I wasn't high when he tried to attack me mother." Anna seethed, "I was fully sober. I only started using when you kicked me out and didn't defend me to the police."

"It was a misunderstanding."

"Ha!" Anna brought a hand to her forehead, utterly blown away, "That's the second time in two days someone's accused me of misunderstanding what happened with they violated me."

"Your father-"

"That man's not my father." Anna pointed at him, "I understand if he's got you twisted around so much you can't get away but I won't stand here and have you tell me that man's my father. My father was a good man who never would've touched and certainly wouldn't have abandoned me when I needed him most."

"Anna when you went to rehab I thought visiting you would just distract from your recovery."

"That's why you sent me a series of emails telling me where I could pick up my stuff and how soon you wanted anything of mine moved out of your house before informing me, in no uncertain terms, I wasn't ever to come back?"

"It was all so-"

"Embarrassing? Awkward? Distressing?"

"Yes, honey it-"

"How do you think I felt?" Anna almost shouted, taking her whole hand to point it at herself. "How do you think it was for me? I needed you and every time I came to you for help, begging and pleading for it, you spat in my face."

"I don't think-"

"Get out." Anna pointed to the door and when her mother tried to argue Anna screamed, "Get out!"

Her mother grabbed her bag, looking ruffled, "Well, if you don't want us here then we won't impose."

"I don't want you here. Never come back."

"Then we'll leave."

Anna watched them go, shutting the door behind them, before she knocked everything off her desk. The vase holding the rose John gave her smashed against the wall and Anna stopped for only a moment before she threw her mug at the same wall. It smashed to pieces as Anna collapsed into her chair, sobbing in her arms.


	13. Peak of Performance

Anna glanced at the clock and rubbed at her eyes. She squinted at the computer before sighing and pushing away. A short walk around would clear her head.

The Cerulean Swan was dark inside but the windows, done in the stained glass she insisted had to be only shades of blue, leaked the light from outside. Anna frowned and went to check her phone but realized she left it in her office. A noise from the back drew her attention and she turned to see Mrs. Hughes standing there.

"I thought you went home." Anna ducked under the bar, searching in one of the mini fridges for a bottle of water.

"I did. Nine hours ago." Mrs. Hughes folded her arms as Anna unscrewed the cap to her water. "Have you been here since three?"

"If you're asking whether or not I went home, the answer's no, I didn't." Anna sipped at the water, wincing as the cold hit her mouth. "There's a lot to do."

"When was the last time you slept Anna?"

"How many days are we passed Tuesday?"

"Anna," Mrs. Hughes put both hands on the bar, "I don't want to nag since I'm not your mother-"

"Thank whatever gods you believe in for that."

"But this is ridiculous. You haven't spent more than three hours outside this building for the past month."

"What's the problem with that?"

"It's not healthy."

"I'm running a business, Mrs. Hughes." Anna came out from behind the bar. "It needs my care."

"But not your life or your soul." Mrs. Hughes closed her eyes, putting her hands together and bringing them to her mouth before shaking them in Anna's direction, "I think you need to take a vacation."

"And go where, Mrs. Hughes? Do what?"

"Whatever it is you do outside this place."

"I don't do anything outside this place, Mrs. Hughes." Anna nodded to her, "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going back to work."

"Anna when did you last eat?"

"What day did you say it was again?"

Mrs. Hughes crossed her arms over her chest, "Sunday."

"Then I know I nibbled at a cheese cube… yesterday... morning… I think."

"Anna!"

"What do you want from me Mrs. Hughes?" Anna held her arms out, "What do you want me to say?"

"That you're not destroying yourself for this business because it's not worth it." Mrs. Hughes put a hand on her arm, "It's not worth giving up everything that really matters."

"Like what?"

"Like Mr. Bates."

Anna groaned, "I'm not discussing my lack of love life with you, Mrs. Hughes. We're not those kind of friends."

"I'm not saying I want you to gossip with me about your love life but you have a man who cares deeply for you and yet you keep him at arms length like you do everyone else."

"It's better that way."

"Better for whom?" Mrs. Hughes pointed at Anna, "For you? Because you're skin and bones, you're gaunt and flaccid, you snap at everyone with the least provocation and bury yourself in your office."

"So?"

"So you're strangling this company, not helping it." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "Either you take a vacation, starting now, or we don't open today."

Anna held Mrs. Hughes in a staring contest for another minute but lost. Shaking her head Anna dropped the water bottle in the recycling bin and held up her hands in surrender. "Fine. But only a week."

"It's more than enough."

Anna collected her things and drove home, squinting in the sunlight. Though she would never admit it to Mrs. Hughes she had not seen real daylight in weeks. Even catching a view of herself in the mirror had Anna doing a double-take because she barely recognized the woman staring back. Sunken cheeks and eyes, skin and bones, with a watery gaze to match the flat and lifeless hair hanging around her. Barely managing the essentials like a shower or food were all Anna did besides work and her body showed it.

Maybe that was why she unconsciously avoided mirrors.

The girl at the desk- Edith? Edna? Etta? Whatever- said something but Anna did not hear… or even care to listen frankly.

The elevator ride to her apartment passed in a similar haze. For a second Anna remembered being kissed in the corner but her mind moved past it. Just like the inside of her apartment almost felt too foreign to her. Like a stranger had happier times being taken over the edge on her island. Or an alternate version of herself had sex in her bed once with a man she loved.

Or thought she did.

Anna showered and dragged a blanket to her couch. She slept in her office lately and only came home for the shower. A layer of dust blew over the countertops and her television but Anna paid it no mind. She bundled herself into the blanket, after drawing the curtains on her sitting room, and lay on the couch.

Within moments her eyes fluttered, drooping in the quiet. Not a comfortable quiet of a home that offers refuge but the kind of quiet an abandoned house or a museum has. In the last thoughts before Anna finally let her body rest, the basic needs taking over her mental marathon, she wondered if there were live people who felt more like exhibits than actually human beings.

She wondered if there was anyone else like her.

* * *

In the foggy distance something clicked. Anna dug her way out of the blanket and pushed her hair from her face to squint across her sitting room. For a moment she thought maybe her dream had bled into reality but there it was again, that clicking noise. She sat up, swaying a bit, and pushed herself to stand as the front door opened.

Anna blinked and stood face-to-face with John. She held up a finger, pointing at him as she struggled past the sluggish synapses in her brain to form words. "You can't be here."

"Mary told me I should come because Mrs. Hughes finally got you out of the Cerulean." John twisted to point at the door before holding up a key, his other arm balancing a number of bags. "She gave me a key."

"No," Anna shook her head, running her hands through her hair, "This is an elaborate dream. Like one from _Inception_ where you think you're awake but you're really just dreaming. This is that. You're not here, you're a figment of my imagination."

"No dream, just me. Can I?" John squeezed past her to put the bags on the counter, pulling items to tuck into her refrigerator.

"Why are you here, John?"

He paused, carton of milk in one hand and a package of biscuits in the other. "To make sure you eat, Anna."

She crossed her arms over her chest, pulling up the edge of her jumper as it fell off her shoulder, "Who said I wasn't eating?"

"Mrs. Hughes, when she called me."

"Why'd she call you?"

"Because…" John closed the refrigerator and came around the island to take Anna's hand. "She thought I should know what happened so she told me about your parents dropping by to visit."

"Then she was wrong," Anna jerked out of his grip, "It wasn't her story to tell because it's not your concern."

"It wasn't like I gave her a choice, Anna." John put a hand to his hip, "I came by the Cerulean today, delivering the order-"

"Is it Monday?" Anna dug around the blanket on the couch to find her phone. She checked it right before the battery died. "I can't be here."

"Anna you're supposed to be taking a break."

"To do what?" Anna threw her arms into the air, "To sit around on my ass for a week doing nothing?"

"To recover. To maybe sleep a little so you're body doesn't give out. To eat, for crying out loud." John swept his arms toward the bags. "Your fridge is empty and I know you haven't eaten at the Cerulean because the only thing in your bin there were water bottles."

"You went through my office?"

"Mrs. Hughes showed it to me and told me I was the only one who could talk to you." John tried to approach Anna but she stepped back, holding up her hands, "I guess she was mistaken."

"Yes, she was." Anna folded her arms again, her chest constricting painfully. "Leave John."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter why. Just leave." Anna stared him in the eye, "I don't need you here and I'm not going to be here myself in a minute. I need to get back to work and-"

"And do what Anna? Pour over perfect spreadsheets? Hassle your kitchen staff? Harry your DJ? What else is there to do, Anna?"

Anna swallowed, clenching her jaw without answering. "You've driven most of them half mad because you're looking for ways to bury yourself in your work but you've done such a fantastic job there's nothing else for you to do."

"I'll take the compliment."

"It wasn't a compliment Anna."

"I'll take it bloody anyway." Anna paced her sitting room, yanking her falling jumper back into place before ripping it over her head and throwing it on the couch. She rubbed at her exposed arms, the vest insufficient since she had not even turned on her heating. Anna took some deep breaths and turned to John, "What do you want John?"

"To be here for you, Anna." John made as if to step forward but stopped himself. "When I told you I loved you, that I wouldn't leave you, those weren't just words to me."

"They've been words to other people."

"I'm not other people."

"Obviously. Other people would've left when I asked them to."

"If you want to be alone," John held up his hands, "Then fine. But don't you dare sit here, wallowing in your misery, and blame everyone else for why you're so unhappy."

"Blame? _Blame!_ " Anna picked up the stack of magazines she subscribed to but never read and threw them across the room. The thicker ones struck her television, sending it wobbling on its stand, while the others fluttered. "They hurt me!"

"I'm not saying they didn't, Anna, but it's in the past. You're drinking poison and hoping they get sick. You can't let it ruin you forever. They win every day you let it destroy you all over again." John moved toward her but Anna flipped her coffee table. It hit the TV stand and the television crashed to the floor. "Anna stop or you'll hurt yourself."

But Anna could not hear him. She tore through her sitting room, throwing her decorative pictures frames with the stock photos still inside across the room and send the lamp spinning. John only just caught it as Anna knocked all the books off her small bookshelf before turning it to the floor. The blanket ripped from the couch and Anna hurled her phone across the room to hit the fridge and crack on the stainless steel.

Heaving in breaths, Anna fell to the floor in the middle of the chaos and tried to breathe normally. That was when the tears came. Not the wracking sobs she had in her office but deep, soul-cleansing tears as she finally let it all go.

Arms wrapped around her and Anna leaned into John's embrace. He ran his hand over her back, speaking softly so she could not hear him over her tears. But she did not need to hear him. The sound of his voice, rumbling from his protective chest, lulled her to continue crying as he rocked her.

When her tears were all gone, and her face was a sticky mess, she tried to push away. John held her close, standing with her in his arms as he carried her to the bathroom. She was at his mercy as he stripped her clothes and turned on the water. When steam leaked from the showerhead he helped her into the shower and left her there.

When the water spurted cold at her Anna turned the shower off. Pushing back the curtain there he was. He wrapped a warm towel around her and dried her hair as carefully as he could before brushing it out. He removed the towel and helped her into pajamas before escorting her down the hall to her bedroom. Without a word he pulled the covers down and helped her get comfortable.

Anna took deep breaths, her eyes struggling to stay open. A brush of fingers on her forehead had John moving the hair from her eyes before stepped toward the door. She lifted herself on weak limbs and called out to him.

"Wait," John turned in the doorway and Anna clutched at the duvet, "Please don't leave."

John slipped off his shoes and walked back over to the bed. He moved behind her, on top of the duvet, and Anna crawled to get closer to him. She reached to pull his arm around her and rested her head on his chest.

Once again his hand rubbed up and down her back, muttering to her so low she could not hear. The cadence of his voice, combine with the soothing motions of his hands, and her own exhaustion tipped Anna's eyes closed. The last thing she did, before all consciousness was lost to her, was move her arm around him. As sleep took her again Anna rested peacefully while holding him as close as she could.

* * *

Anna opened her eyes and saw no one there. She sat up in bed, looking around for signs of John but there were none. Throwing herself back on her pillows a moment Anna wanted to berate herself.

"You were so tired you hallucinated. Nice job, Anna, giving yourself a mirage of your ex-boyfriend." She muttered before working herself out of bed, stumbling along the hallway to the bathroom.

Before she could reach the door she heard the sound of her vacuum running. Anna stopped, frowning to herself, and walked to see her sitting room. There, using the stick extension, John maneuvered under the TV stand to get any last bits of broken glass sucked safely into the vacuum.

She watched him, gawking from her position in the doorway. He finished and turned off the machine. As John turned he almost dropped the wand but caught it just in time. He rested it on the corrected coffee table, fixed the artistic placement of the magazines, and tried to smile.

"Sorry, I thought you could use the rest and that maybe you'd like this place all cleaned up." John pointed to the door, "I'll just-"

Anna strode toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist, and clung there. His hands did not move as quickly to enfold her and while part of Anna bemoaned it she knew why. She hid in her corner, lashed out at him, and chased him away every time he got close. Now he was hiding a little of himself. If possible she pulled tighter.

He put a hand on her shoulder and pushed back a minute, "Anna, we need to talk."

Anna nodded and took a seat in the chair as he sat on the edge of the couch. She pulled her legs to her chest, holding tightly as John ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath and looked Anna in the eye.

"I can't pretend to have any idea what you've been through. I won't do either of us the disservice to try. But I do know a few things." Anna nodded and John continued. "I know that I love you. More than I've loved anyone or anything. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no holds barred."

"But?"

"But," John conceded, "Whenever we get close you shut me out. Whenever something happens you push me away. You've convinced yourself I'm not here for the long haul when I am. I'm here for you, Anna. That means I see your happiness and your tears. I'm not just here to buy you roses and biscuits but also vegetables and milk if you need it."

"I know," Anna cleared her throat, her voice too small. "I know you are."

"Then please Anna," John reached across the space between then, taking her hand and this time she did not move away. "Stop shutting me out. I'm not here to rush you. I don't want you to tell me everything you're feeling right this moment but I thought that night when you told me everything you trusted me."

"I do. John I-"

"You don't, Anna." John interrupted her, sending Anna to surprised silence by the force of his words. He sighed, "You don't, Anna. What you told me that night wasn't about you being open with me. It was a resume. You were telling me how much you'd overcome on your own. You were showing me your attack side, like a swan protecting its nest because you've had to. You fooled me, and I suspect yourself, when you used what you'd been through as your armor instead of your vulnerability."

Anna nodded, brushing at the tears that gathered at the edges of her eyes. John stroked over the back of her hand. "You don't need that armor with me Anna. You don't need to pretend with me."

"Where does that leave us?" Anna stared at John, the tears tracking down both of their cheeks.

"Together, I hope." John kissed the back of her hand in his grip. "I want us to fight this together Anna. I want you to trust me to be there for you when you cry, when you rage, and when you're unbelievably happy. I want you to feel like you can trust me with anything. With confronting your rapist again or seeing your parents or even managing your housecleaning."

Anna laughed and John joined her, "I'm here for you, Anna."

"I want you to be."

"Then let me." John slid to the floor in front of Anna, "Let me be there for you Anna. Let me love you forever and I promise I won't spend a day that's not devoted to your happiness."

"On one condition," Anna held his face in hers, her thumbs brushing over his cheekbones, "That you'll let me do the same?"

"Of course."

Anna slid to the floor and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him to her. They stayed like that for another minute until John grunted. Anna moved back as John winced.

"Sorry, it's just, you're floors are wood and my knees aren't all that great with that kind of exposure for long term."

Anna helped haul him to his feet, "Then I don't plan for you to be down there for long."

"Perfect," John moved his hands to her waist and Anna shivered. "Because there's somewhere else I'd like to take you where I can go down on you in comfort."

"Please do."


	14. Cusp of Greatness

She grinned as John shifted behind her. Feigning sleep Anna moved closer to him, rubbing her ass over his erection. He groaned and wrapped a hand over her stomach, kissing from her neck up to her ear.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to wake you up." Anna ran a foot up the back of his leg, changing her position on his body so his arousal rested in the cress of her ass. She looked over her shoulder at him as he grunted, "Is it working?"

"You're very devious when you want to be, Ms. Smith."

"I try," She ran a hand over his leg and slipped over to squeeze his ass. "Are you going to move or do I have to do all the work?"

"I wouldn't want you to have to work too hard on your day off." John smoothed his hands down Anna's side before edging to the juncture between her legs. He massaged his fingers between her legs and Anna moaned. "That would be unkind, don't you think?"

"Very unkind." She pouted as he trailed kisses over her shoulder blades. "What can you do about it?"

"I'll find some way to relax you." His fingers pinched her folds, "Is this in the right direction?"

Anna could barely breathe as John snuck his middle finger inside her, running his index and ringer fingers along the outside edge of her from top to bottom before retracing his path. She shivered and slid her hand along his leg, dipping under to run her fingers over his sack. John bucked away from her, pushing his fingers deeper and Anna cried out.

"This is about you, Anna." John moved from behind her, pushing on her shoulder so her back was to the bed. "Don't distract me yet."

She could only nod, too lost when his three fingers worked in sync inside her. John kissed over her neck, taking her mouth with his while flicking his wrist to strike that spot inside her that left Anna writing on the bed. He pulled at her tongue as his fingers curled inside her. When John moved his lips to her chin Anna's chest fought the constriction of her inner muscles to get air to her starved lungs as her body worked in a frenzy of pleasure.

Anna looked at John as he grinned, pressing down on the bundle of nerves that now vibrated with the blood rushing through her body, and she broke. Her head back on the pillow left her neck exposed and John wasted no time kissing his way down it to cover her collarbone in kisses. In fact, it was the sensation of his lips on her skin that had Anna fighting to regain control of her senses.

His fingers were still inside her, massaging her down while locked in the stranglehold of her vaginal walls, but John only seemed concerned with giving her breasts adequate attention. He licked over them, sucking red spots in a crude outline of a bra, and balanced the labors of his mouth with the motions of his free hand on her other breast.

He twisted and kneaded one side while he pulled the nipple of the other breast into his mouth to suck at her. Anna's fingers tangled in his hair, holding him to her as her body moved of its own accord. When he switched sides she moaned.

Satisfied Anna's chest was sufficiently loved, John glided lower. No patch of skin was left unmarked. He brushed over her sides, nipped at her hipbones, and trailed his tongue in her bellybutton, always working downward. John's body forced Anna's legs apart and he settled his shoulders between them as he bit at the top of her sex.

Anna sobbed, scrunching her eyes closed so as not to be overwhelmed by the sensations. When she finally opened her eyes she saw him, licking his lips, before he kissed the top of her folds. She tried to lift herself up but he put a hand on her stomach, keeping her in place as he pulled her folds to his mouth like he had with her lips.

His fingers moved out of her, tracing up to her bellybutton and Anna shivered at the wet trail they left. She saw John follow the path with his tongue, licking a stripe up to her bellybutton before kissing up to her chin. He took her mouth and Anna raked her fingers through his hair as she clung to him, unwilling to release him from her hold.

But she had to when he dug a finger inside her and she gasped. He kissed over her cheek to her ear, moving his three fingers over her before plunging them back to her core. "Just lie back and let me do the work."

It was all Anna could do to nod when John left her to draw his lips over her breasts again. His hands massaged up her sides and Anna thought she felt him, hot and hard, rest close to her thigh. Her leg moved, trying to find him, but dropped back to the bed when John suckled at her breasts. She groaned, clawing at him to keep his lips on her as her lower body writhed under the masterful work of his fingers.

The rumble of the laugh in his chest rolled down her body when he kissed over her stomach and dragged his tongue down the wet path he left earlier. Anna drew haggard breaths when his unoccupied hand wrapped from her hip to her ass, drawing him closer to his mouth as he kissed her folds.

She whimpered as he sucked over her, drawing her folds into his mouth and worrying them with his tongue. His fingers spread her wide and he drank from her, pulling her wet heat to his mouth. Anna shrieked in time with his motions, throwing her hips in his direction as he thrust with his tongue before sweeping over her like someone trying to get the last of the ice cream from a cone. Her hands held his head in place to prevent him leaving her unfinished but she knew he would not have stopped anyway. He was singularly devoted to his task.

Wet, sucking sounds filled Anna's ears and she lost her own voice keening in appreciation of the attentions of his fingers and tongue. When he curled inside her again Anna stopped breathing. When he bit down on her she shattered.

She was barely aware of him laying her carefully back on the bed. All she knew was the struggle to find breath and the glide of a body over hers. Anna blinked through dazed eyes at John, holding himself above her, as he dipped to kiss her.

It was like Sleeping Beauty waking from a dream when his lips met hers. Her hands held his face to hers and her tongue moved in his mouth as his hand undulated in her. Anna sought her taste, that sweet saltiness, and pulled it from him anywhere she could find it. He returned the kiss, giving over to her demands like it was all he wanted to do. Like her desires were all that mattered.

Anna twisted under him, surprising John, and he bounced back against the bed. She straddled his chest, holding herself just off him while continuing to own his mouth. His hands tangled in her hair while hers cupped his neck. The massage of his fingers in her hair almost distracted Anna but she broke away long enough to reach over him to the drawer beside her bed.

With her hand searching via tactile sensation for the right package, John seized his chance. Her breasts dangled within his reach and he lifted himself enough to kiss over them, stroking with his free hands. Anna moaned, almost losing her focus, but as her hand flexed in the drawer she found the right package and pulled it out.

Sitting up on his chest, to prevent John rising, Anna grinned at him. She held the package up, tearing it with her teeth, and watched his eyes roll back into his head. Anna flipped her legs up and twisted to leave her back facing him and bent over to kiss around the base of his arousal.

He jerked and Anna giggled before licking from base to tip as she would an ice cream. She used one hand to hold herself up and the other wrapped around his base, gripping him tightly before slowly working her way up. As her hand reversed action she took just his tip into her mouth. John tried to work himself deeper but Anna kept her distance, sliding her tongue over his tip and slipping into the weeping slit as she did.

Anna hollowed out her cheeks and took him deeper, answering the urge of his hips. She used his grunts of pleasure as her cues to drag her teeth over him or to suck harder. When she wrapped her tongue around him she felt him bite her ass. Anna pulled off, turning over her shoulder to see John leering at her.

She moved, spinning on his stomach to face him again. Anna pushed herself backward, moving over his arousal so slowly John's eyes scrunched closed and he clutched at the blankets. Anna brought the condom up, fitting it over him just as slowly before smoothing her hands over his hips.

Anna watched him as she lifted herself to sink down, stopping when just the tip of him graced her folds. "Should I finish John?"

Instead of answering her with words, John grabbed her hips and pulled her to him as his hips thrust upward. The force of their joining drove the air from Anna's lungs and she gasped. Their eyes met and Anna moved over him, rolling her hips to meet his insistent and persistent plunges. Her hands went to his chest, smoothing over it and digging her nails in when he hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her.

She lost herself in the feel of him and the sound of them coming together over and over again. Anna moaned, the point of pleasure growing in her as she met each determined drive with all the energy she could. In all her motions she wanted to wring as much ecstasy from it as she could and forced her eyes open to watch John take all he could as well.

One of her hands moved behind her, fingering his sack and John's hips lost their rhythm. His frenzied pace turned frenetic and one of his hands slipped on her sweaty skin to grab her ass. Anna gasped with it, her other hand snaking between them to press at her center.

His hand joined hers, sending her over the edge for the third time. John arched under Anna as she cried out, spilling himself inside her with two final thrusts, and Anna could swear she heard him call out her name. Their bodies stuttered for a moment in the aftershocks before they stilled completely.

Her arms lost their strength and she sank to his chest, breathing in time with him as they both fought to fill their starved lungs. Anna rested her head in the crook between his chin and neck, sighing there, and held a hand to back of his neck to feel more connected to him. John laughed, kissing from her temple to her shoulder and then to her chin as she turned to look at him.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing." He kissed her lips quickly, "Just a wonderful way to wake up Ms. Smith, that's all."

"Yes," Anna dragged a finger down his jaw before putting her lips an inch from his, "Yes it was."

She kissed him as deeply as she could before pushing herself upright. Her arms still wobbled slightly but she managed to move herself off him and to the side. John rolled to the edge of the bed and removed the condom before facing her.

"What'll you do with your day off?"

"Maybe I should go to work with you." Anna lay back over the bed, resting her hand on his leg. "I'd like to use your desk."

"I'd like to use you on my desk," John bent down to kiss her before standing, "But I've actually got work to do."

"And I don't?"

"Not on your day off." John crossed the room to dig in the bottom drawer of the dresser, "What ever happened to that meeting you had with Talbot?"

"You mean about that location he found?" Anna sat up, running a hand through her hair while pulling her legs up to lean over her knees while staring at John's ass across the room as he hunted from something in his drawer. "He wants to build a third Swan."

"But you just opened the Scarlet." John did not look up from what he was doing, "Isn't that a little too ambitious, even for him?"

"We opened the Scarlet a year and a half ago, John." Anna beamed at him as John turned around. He raised an eyebrow and she looked him over up and down. He stalked over to her, his hands behind his back.

"You're incorrigible."

"You're irresistible. Especially when you walk around our bedroom naked." Anna draped her arms over his shoulders, "I've been thinking that to myself every day for a year."

"Just a year?" John pushed out his lower lip to pout, "I thought I impressed you long before that."

"But you've only shared my room for a year."

"So you didn't think about me naked before that?"

"I did," Anna shrugged, "I've been thinking that for almost two years."

"Even in the times when you wouldn't speak to me or were mad at me?"

"Especially then. My fantasies were all I had," Anna laid back on the bed as John started kissing her neck again, "You're fishing for compliments."

"No," He drew back, "I needed to make sure you were in the right mood."

"Right mood?" Anna raised an eyebrow and then covered her mouth with her hands as John knelt down in front of her. "John?"

"I want you to marry me Anna. I've wanted it since I met you, I just couldn't put it in words like that then. But ever since you let me in, ever since you let me share your troubles… and then your flat, I knew I wanted nothing than for the whole world to know that it's my most important job in life to keep you undeniably happy." John pulled the small box from behind his back and opened it to show a plain band. "Will you marry me, Anna?"

Anna flung herself at him, kissing all over his face with breaths of "yes" punctuating each touch of her lips to him. "A thousand times yes."

* * *

Anna rubbed at her eyes and blinked away from the computer as the knock at her door rang out over the room. "Come in."

Her chair helped her turn easily to see Talbot striding across the room toward her. All his teeth showed in his smile as he slapped a folder on Anna's desk. "The Ebony."

"The what?" Anna opened the folder, looking over the specs and the photos of the property.

"The Ebony Swan. I figured if we wanted to continue with the color theme then we should pick something a little edgier, for the night club crowd."

"You want another Scarlet?" Anna folded the file in slightly to see Talbot in his normal chair.

"No because the Scarlet offers food. I'm talking about a 'drinks and dancing' only place. Ethel's been talking about how she wants to work a little more techno with her music and that's not really the sound for the Scarlet so I thought, why not make a place just for drinks and dancing? We've built great relationships with a couple cab companies that we'd have constant ferrying services and then we'd get the younger crowd that just wants to party until dawn."

"Because we're too old for that?"

"The Cerulean's a high class place where some of the finest come to wine and dine with music they recognize from a nostalgic age. Up and coming couples visit the Scarlet to convince themselves they're young and then, five dances in, realize they want to tuck themselves into bed by nine with an internet streaming service." Talbot tapped the top of the folder as Anna spread it on her desk, "This place is going younger than that."

"Uni students who don't eat because they spend all their cash on booze and then throw up in the bathroom stalls?" Anna raised an eyebrow, "I don't think that's wise. The cost of cleaning alone…"

"There's money to be had here and I think we could get Blake to invest on part of it. He's got edgy down to an art without seeming like your child might shoot up in the bathroom."

Anna leaned back in her chair, resting her chin in her palm, "You really think it's not too soon?"

"I thought you were a risk taker Anna." Talbot leaned forward, as if examining Anna at a doctor's visit, "Is this John talking?"

"It's me." Anna took the folder and swatted Talbot with it, "Just because he's my boyfriend and we live together doesn't mean we have the same thoughts yet."

"More than just your boyfriend by the looks of it," Talbot pointed to the ring on Anna's finger. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Anna admired it, "He proposed yesterday."

"Going to tell the staff?"

"When we have a date. Until 'mum's' the word yeah?" Anna handed the folder to Talbot, "If you think Blake will go for it then draw up the specs for possible investment. We need someone to operate it. Someone we trust and a good group of bouncers for the doors. Any place with that much fun might be trouble for us later, speaking from experience."

"I'll get on it." Talbot pushed himself out of his seat, "Though I might suggest Mrs. Crawley for this."

"Cora?"

"Mary."

"Mary? She's got no interest in this business."

"Maybe she didn't have interest in the restaurant or the low-key night club scene but she's all about the dance club idea. She was the one who actually gave me the idea for the Ebony theme." Talbot shrugged, "I'd like to invite her to the next meeting about it if that's alright with you."

"If you think she really wants it then be my guest. Get Blake and Mary in here by the end of the week to talk about it then we'll see about funding." Anna waved Talbot away, "Now get back to the Scarlet, that's what I pay you for."

"I thought I paid you?"

Anna scowled at him as Talbot left the room, nodding to John as he entered. Anna smiled at him, walking around her desk to kiss him. "How are you?"

"I'm wonderful." John hugged her about the waist, "You called?"

"I just wondered if you wanted to eat lunch with me."

"I'd love to eat lunch with you." John broke from her embrace and walked to the door, closing it slowly and locking it before going to the windows of her office and lowering the shades. Anna frowned, confused until John came back to her, holding her in his arms again, "But I don't know how much time we'll have."

"John?"

"We didn't get time this morning since you were up early to get here," John kissed over Anna's neck, steering her carefully backward until she bumped the edge of her desk, "And since I had to leave you yesterday for work we didn't get to properly celebrate how you said yes to my proposal."

"And how'd you plan to do that?" Anna thought her heart would beat so fast it might break through her rib cage as John lifted Anna to sit on the edge of her desk and laid her down on top of it.

"By fulfilling a promise I made to you in a carpark on our second date." John ran his fingers along the edge of her trousers to unbutton them, "Do you mind if I make it up to you now?"

"Not at all." Anna lifted her hips as John slid the trousers down her legs, dropping them and her heels to the floor before running his hands over her skin to dance over her knickers. "I do wish you wouldn't tease so much."

"I thought you liked my teasing." John grinned and took the edge of the elastic in his teeth, pulling down slowly until both of her legs were free, and tucked her knickers in his pocket.

"I do," Anna sat up and grabbed his face to kiss him, "But I'm at work and if that door stays closed too long everyone'll know why."

"Is that bad?" John ran a finger over her and Anna shivered.

"Only because they'll never let me live it down and then if they start shagging at work I'll have no leg to stand on about professionalism. I almost walked in on Tom and Sybil in the store closet yesterday."

"Then I'll do my best to make sure no one knows." John dragged Anna to the edge of the desk and she leaned forward to unbuckle his belt. Her hands grabbed there for support when John entered her with a finger. She stared him down as he taunted her. "First to finish loses Anna."

"I don't lose, John." Anna bit her lip when he used a second finger and shoved his trousers and pants down his legs before grabbing him in a punishing grip. "Loser has dishes for a week."

"Why not make it interesting?" John added a third finger, scraping down her while Anna rubbed her thumb over his tip to spread the moisture there over him. "Rubbish bins and toilet."

"Then I'll definitely win," Anna yanked his hand away and used her legs wrapped around his waist to pull him into her.

Both of them took a moment, groaning softly so no one could hear them, before John pumped into her. Anna held at the back of his neck, kissing him as deeply as she could as her other hand ran down to sink her nails into his ass. John bucked into her, stuttering and coming close to the edge.

He broke the kiss, glaring at her while she only grinned back. John's hand at her back held her to him while his hand on her ass lifted her just enough to change his angle. He hit just the right spot inside her and Anna let her head fall back, moaning louder than she intended.

John kissed up her neck. Anna turned to meet his lips as their bodies collided, the sweat sliding her ever so slightly on the edge of her desk. But it also helped the hand she snuck between them to brush at him.

He released then, Anna following just after him with a satisfied smile. John leaned over her, his arms trembling as Anna rubbed over him. She kissed his cheek before tilting back to look at him.

"Good think you like cleaning."

"Good thing I love you." John kissed her, nipping at her bottom lips as he drew back. Anna dug in her drawer for some wipes and handed them to him as she got of her desk, cleaning the surface and then offering John the rubbish bin for the used cloths. He handed her trousers but Anna held out her hand.

"I think I need something else first."

"No you don't." John tapped his pocket as he finished buckling his pants in place. "Because later I might want to bend you over my desk when you come by to pick me up after work."

"Really?" Anna leaned on the edge of her desk, crossing her arms.

"Really," John winked at her, "They'd just get in the way."

"Who says I want to pick you up after work?"

"How else would we have dinner together?" John went to stand by the window shades, "You're choice. But if I raise these your employees will see more of you than you want them to."

"You're incorrigible John Bates." Anna pulled her trousers up, buttoning them before slipping her feet into her heels.

"Only for you." He lifted the shades ad Anna waited for him by the door. They kissed quickly before she unlocked the door to let him out. "I'll see you later Anna."

"Only if you're good John."

"You haven't complained yet."


	15. Altar

Anna got out of her car as Mrs. Bates unlocked hers. "How are you today?"

"Just fine." She winked at Anna, "He was so nervous you'd say no."

"Guess I don't have a great habit of being the most reliable of people in that department." Anna cringed, turning the ring on her hand where it still felt strange but so familiar. "He had a right to be nervous."

"All men should when they propose to women who are their equals."

"Not their superiors?" Anna walked toward the front doors as Mrs. Bates shook her head.

"If a woman is a man's superior and he wants to take the boat out that far then good luck to him because she'd have to be a damned fool to say yes."

"Some people are romantic."

"I don't care how romantic someone is. Common sense is the most attractive trait I've ever found in anyone." Mrs. Bates opened her door, "It's a good thing for the two of you that there seems to be enough between you to make this work."

"Yes it is."

Anna waved Mrs. Bates off and walked inside the building. All the lights were off, most of the staff already gone for the day, but Anna could hear shuffling coming from John's office. She smiled to herself and locked the front door before taking the stairs. She caught a glimpse of him, focused and frowning at a sheet, before knocking on the railing to alert him she was there.

The smile that engulfed his face swelled Anna's heart. She grinned back at him, leaving her bag on a chair as he went to stand. "Don't get up. You're not finished and I can wait."

"I should've finished an hour ago."

"What kept you?" Anna sat on the edge of his desk, crossing her legs. She bit her tongue to keep from giving herself away when she saw John shift in his seat. He coughed and continued but his eyes kept darting toward her.

"These reports."

"What for?" Anna leaned sideways, moving her hair just out her face and noting how John could not tear himself away from the view her slightly open shirt provided of her breasts at this angle."

"I had a few tasters attend some conferences, looking for new product to try and for new flavors but so far all indications are the market's not promising."

"That's a shame." Anna reached over to put a hand on his cheek, "I wish there was something I could do."

"There is." John pushed back his chair and motioned for her, "Sit with me a minute."

"We've got to get back for the dinner rush John." Anna chided but took his offered seat on his lap. She leaned her head back against his shoulder when his arms wrapped around her waist. "But I can spare a few minutes."

"Only a few minutes?" John nipped at her ear and Anna moved on his lap, purposefully brushing his arousal.

"Don't tease Mr. Bates, it's unprofessional."

"What we did on your desk this afternoon was unprofessional." John trailed a hand down the buttons of her shirt, popping them one by one as his other hand smoothed over her stomach. "But I enjoyed that."

"So did I." Anna wrapped her arm back to hold his neck as John sucked close to where her pulse beat a tattoo against her skin. "I've been thinking about it all day."

"As have I." He purred on her skin, sending tingles down her from the vibrations of his mouth and chest working in tandem with his fingers kneading at her breasts and those stroking the top of her sex under her trousers. "I've also been thinking of something else."

"Would it have anything to do with my knickers in your pocket?" Anna ground down on his fingers as one ran through her folds, only just entering her.

"Might." John ran his other hand to her back, popping the clasp on her bra before running his hand under the cups to better touch her breasts. "If you're amenable to the idea."

"Two desks in one day," Anna wrapped her hand over his wrist and pressed him more firmly to her, sending his fingers deeper. The shift of her hips sent her trousers down her legs and opened her up to him. "I like the sound of that."

"Do you?"

"With one condition," Anna turned to see John's face, "You take me."

"Anna?"

"Let go John." Anna pulled his head toward her, whispering when their lips were just millimeters apart, "Make me fall apart and don't hold back."

John seized her mouth and drove his fingers into her with the same breath. Anna keened into the kiss as John forced his tongue past her lips, scoping out every detail before pulling back. His hand at her breasts squeezed insistently and Anna all but shoved herself into his grasp. Her hips worked with his fingers as they spread and stroked her.

The drive of John's hips struck her buzzing nerves and Anna fell back from their kiss, groaning. It was all John needed to stand them both up so fast Anna sank further onto his fingers. She dug into his shirt, holding onto him to steady herself before he pressed her forward to the desk.

His hand left her chest, pulling her shirt and bra away to fling them on top of her bag. He drew his fingers out of her to strip her trousers and heels, kicking them to the side as Anna held herself up by her hands on the desk. She risked a look behind her when she heard the sound of his belt and licked her lips as John stripped himself naked in his office.

John kissed the smile from her face, pressing his body to hers. His chest hit her back, his erection landing in the crease of her ass, and his hands at her hips. The edge of the desk hit just at the top of her hips but Anna's nerve endings already spasmed enough to leave her moaning on impact.

His lips left a wet path from her shoulder to her neck. Both of his hands eased down her arms, tangling his fingers with hers before pressing her forward onto the desk. He guided her to grip the far edge before withdrawing his hands. But he kept them on her, sliding in time to the massage of his hips against hers.

Anna hung her head, closing her eyes to feel his hands running over her skin in time with the kisses he laid over her back and shoulders. One of his hands snuck forward as his leg nudged her own apart. Hot breath over her skin left Anna shivering while teasing touches had her whining for more attention.

"Remember," John's voice near her ear made her jump, just thrusting herself more firmly at his quivering arousal. Anna convinced herself that, in that moment, she felt him swell. "I'm supposed to take you. To make you fall apart while not holding back."

"Yes." Anna's hands shook when her grip tightened to leave her knuckles white on the edge of the desk.

"I'm going to do that Anna, unless you changed your mind."

"I didn't."

"Good because now that I have you here, I don't want to stop." John wrapped a hand around her hips. "Do you want me to?"

"No."

"Then I'll continue shall I?"

"Yes," Anna heard the desperation in her voice but with John over top her, with his desk under her, and her own body begging for release, her pride was her last concern.

John answered by plunging into her. Anna groaned, her forehead resting on the desk as John struck deep inside her before pulling out. She risked a look over her shoulder and saw her ass cradled between his thighs as one of his hands caressed the skin there.

He caught her staring and held eye contact with her as he drew back, almost leaving her completely empty. He held there, on the edge, until Anna went on her tiptoes trying to throw herself toward him. John's hand at her center pressed just enough to distract her before he drove back into her.

Anna cried out. Though he started his motions slow, John soon rutted into her with enough force to shake the desk beneath her. His lips covered her back and shoulders with kisses as one hand tightened on the swell of her ass and the other fondled in counter time to his movements.

"Do you know Anna?" John's voice gasped between his struggles for air and Anna, struggling to breathe evenly herself, could only whine. "There's almost no better sight than seeing you embracing me. Then watching how your eyes go dark and hearing your voice hit those high notes."

Anna used her position on the desk to leverage against him, clenching her inner muscles to suck at him when he went to withdraw. "What might compare?"

John laughed against her neck, if even possible increasing his speed, "Seeing you impaled on me. Hearing the sound of us meeting over and over again. Watching how your body takes me in. Reveling in the feel of you around me as I'm around you. That sucking sensation when I pull out of you just to go back in. It's heaven to me. I think about it all the time and just wish I could have you with me always to show you what you do to me as I show you what I want to do to you."

Anna gave up then. In her office she wanted to win, to dominate. But here, with his desk beneath her and surrounded by him as he pushed her to her tiptoes with every strike inside her, Anna surrendered. She fell apart in his hands without remorse.

After a few more drives John finished. He remained over her, holding himself to her as she pried her hands loose from the desk. John slid free, turning Anna in his arms, and lifted her to sit on the edge.

Taking hers hands in his, John kissed over the indentations there. Anna watched his movements and waited until he dropped her hands to bring his lips to hers. They took a moment, just to enjoy one another, before John pulled back.

"We need to get you back to work."

"Must we?" She pouted and John nipped at her lower lip before pulling back.

"You insisted on it." He grinned and pulled back, finding his trousers to dig her knickers from the pocket, "As promised."

"I'm tempted to let you keep them. Maybe you could start a collection." Anna raised en eyebrow when John stuttered, "Ready again already?"

"Not as yet." John put the knickers in her hand, "But I can have any of your knickers I want. I fold them every week so I may just sneak a pair."

"They'd be a little snug on you." John laughed but paused, looking to the side as if something crossed his mind. "John?"

"In your office…" John held up a finger, pointing to something and then to his desk, his trousers hanging from one hand. "And then just now…"

"What is it John?"

John took a deep breath, "We didn't use protection."

"Is that a problem?"

"We've never forgotten before." John ran a hand through his hair, "We only got engaged yesterday and we haven't even discussed wedding plans so if you-"

"John," Anna put a hand on his shoulder, "The chances of me getting pregnant from two times on our desks is slim. And since we're not in a movie I like the odds that I'm not pregnant yet."

"Even so. If you did-"

"Then we have the baby John." Anna shrugged, "It may surprise you to know, Mr. Bates, but when I agreed to marry you, I did plan on the idea that we might have children one day. It's part and parcel of the agreement."

"But immediately?"

"Why not?" Anna slipped her legs through her knickers and grabbed her trousers from the floor, shaking them out before working her legs through the fabric. "It's not like we couldn't take care of them or like we're getting any younger."

"Then you'd want children with me?"

"John," Anna clasped her bra behind her back, "I want all of it with you. That's what one means when they say 'yes' to a proposal."

"Then I have a suggestion," John paused, "And I'm going to say something but you may not like it."

"What's that?"

"We should get married tomorrow."

"We can't get married that fast. We don't have a license."

"You're not listening," John grabbed her hands in his, "I have a friend at the registrar's office. We could be married by the end of the week. I'll go there tomorrow and arrange everything for the day. We don't have to tell anyone if you don't want me to or you can tell everyone but that's what I'll do."

"So soon?"

"With the plans for your third place and my business working on rolling out a new flavor our lives'll get so busy. With everything we've been through I think this is something we shouldn't wait to have. And I don't want a public mess when everyone gets wind of it. This is about you and me and I don't want to be apart form you any longer than I have to be."

"You've stuck with me through thin and thin," Anna wrapped her arms around John, "After everything you've endured for me I don't want you on the sidelines anymore. I want you as my next of kin. I want you to be the person everyone knows is the person I run to. I want you to be my husband, the sooner the better if that's what you suggest."

John held her tightly to him. "I love you, Anna."

"And I love you." Anna beamed up at him, "I can't wait to be your wife."

* * *

Anna paced in the tiny hallway, looking up with a relieved sigh as Mary hurried toward her with a small bouquet of flowers. "I thought you weren't coming."

"I admit it was a little difficult to get away without telling anyone why." Mary slid her purse strap up her shoulder, "Still don't know why you two are being all cloak and dagger about this. It's not like you've got anything to hide."

"We want our private lives private."

"Only some of us are made for big weddings." Mary stared into a space, a little wistfully, "Drove Matthew mad but he endured it for me."

Anna reached over to hold Mary's hand, "I wish he could be here."

"You've got Talbot standing as John's witness so I guess I'm enough to round out the party." Mary linked her arm with Anna's, "Shall we join them?"

Mary escorted Anna into the small room at the courthouse. Upon opening the door Anna felt her face break into a huge grin to see Talbot fussing with John's boutonniere while John tried to get away with claims that it was fine. As Mrs. Bates joined in the arguments to make John look more presentable, Anna dissolved into silent stiches.

When Mary cleared her throat they both stopped moving, Talbot pulling at the lapels of his now ruffled suit and John staring at Anna. He walked over to her, putting out a hand but did not touch her as though he thought she might be a mirage. Instead, Anna took his hand, assuring him she was real.

"Hi." He finally breathed, his hand shaking in hers.

"Hi," Anna giggled and went to say something else but an older woman at the front of the room cleared her throat.

"If you'd like to begin?"

"Yes," Mary marched Anna forward, depositing her in front of the little podium. "They'd very much like to begin."

"Do you have all the forms?"

"Right here," Talbot pulled out the paperwork, slapping it down with a grin, "All signed and ready."

"Marvelous." The woman kept her monotonous tone but Anna could barely hear her, lost in looking at the man minutes from being her husband. "Shall we begin?"

The ceremony itself was nothing out of the ordinary for the woman behind the podium. She said the words she said hundreds of times a year with the drone she developed after her third year of watching couples unite in swiftest matrimony. But to Anna this small room, the three people who meant the most to them standing so close, and the man who loved her as she loved him (though she might never admit it to herself, perhaps even a little more than she loved him… but she was working on losing herself in him the way he seemed lost in her) glowing with unabashed joy right next to her made the room a palace and the whole situation grander than any royal wedding.

John slid the new band on her finger and Anna stared at it. The iridescent cerulean matched the gold ring already familiar on her finger. John drew her hand to his lips to kiss where the rings joined before she could fit the gold band on his finger. Anna mimicked his actions before stroking over the spot.

"With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

The slowly building bubbling inside of Anna tightened her grip on his fingers. John bent down, turning his head just so to give himself the best angle. In hindsight Anna realized she might have jumped the gun a little because instead of waiting for him to come to her she jerked him closer and took hold of his mouth. The moment of shock quickly formed into a smile on his part, kissing her with all the fervor of his soul.

They kept it socially acceptable, though Anna wanted more than anything to take him right then and there. But shagging the man of your dreams, even if you did just marry him, in front of the Registrar, your best friend, your co-worker, and your husband's mother is never an appropriate activity. Instead Anna focused her thoughts on their honeymoon. She would get him then.

Talbot insisted on a few pictures, even convincing the Registrar to take one of them and another with them. He then acted chauffer, getting them to Heathrow. Opening the boot Talbot handed John the bags before kissing Anna on the cheek.

"Don't be too good now. Remember, it's your honeymoon. Go a little crazy yeah?" Talbot winked and Anna slapped his shoulder. "And don't worry, between Charles, Mary, and I when you see you next the Ebony'll be an obnoxious shade of black and we'll have a new DJ at the Scarlet."

"Sometimes I wonder why I trust you." Anna hugged him, "Then I remember how good you are to me."

"Pleasure to serve Ms. Smith… I mean, Mrs. Bates."

Anna considered it a moment before smiling at him, "I like the ring to that."

"He already gave you a ring for that." Mary hugged Anna, "And you really needn't worry. I'll keep them in line."

"I'm just amazed you wanted any part of this business."

"After Matthew died I didn't really have anything to do. I lost the feel for my music and my fan base had stagnated anyway." Mary shrugged, "But who knows, maybe working with this business'll spark that creativity again and I'll go back to music. Nothing wrong with a little diversification in one's portfolio."

"Nothing at all." Anna put a hand on her friend's arm, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it because it's not a favor. It's a business arrangement and I feel I'm getting the better end of the deal." Mary put a hand on Talbot's shoulder, "Ready to drive us all back then?"

"I'll give John and Anna minute alone with his mother." Talbot jerked his thumb to the side, "We'll wait by the car."

Anna walked to where John and Mrs. Bates were in deep discussion. When she arrived closer Anna realized they were not discussing so much as John was nodding his head to all the marital advice his mother was giving him. She held back, biting her lip. John met her eyes and Anna tried not to burst out laughing at the long-suffering look in the devoted son's eyes.

"You've said she's not a morning person so don't go pushing your personality on her before she's ready. Men've been kicked out of bed and home for less."

"Yes mother."

"And make sure to pick up your socks. I know you had a problem with it as a boy and I won't stand to have anyone think I didn't raise you to clean up after yourself."

"I will mum."

"If she wants food from three different take aways you get it from three different places and you like it. None of this 'one and done' business." Mrs. Bates paused, "And the same goes for the bedroom too. I don't want you-"

"Alright," Anna stepped forward, "I think I can attest that he's just fine in the bedroom, Mrs. Bates, so not to worry. I know I'll be well looked after."

"Well," Mrs. Bates pursed her lips, "Can't say anything except I think he's getting the better end of this."

Anna looped her arms through John's and stared up at him, "I think I'm getting a pretty good deal."

"If you're sure." Mrs. Bates hugged John around the neck before turning to Anna. "I know you're in safe hands."

"So do I." Anna hugged her mother-in-law and stepped back to John, "We'd better go or we'll miss our flight."

"It's a private plane," Mary called but Anna waved her away.

"Just enjoy your week away and don't worry," Mrs. Bates looked over her shoulder at Mary and Talbot, "Between the three of us I'm sure we won't burn anything down."

"Make sure you don't." John kissed his mother's cheek, "See you in a week."

They left their small wedding party waving at the drop off. Anna clung to John, still in a bit of a joyful daze. The airport gave them no hassle and soon they were buckled into the Crawley's private plane, ready for take off.

"Excited?" John wrapped her left hand in his, pulling it up to kiss right where her wedding band and engagement ring glinted in the light.

"I'm not usually one for surprises," Anna shifted to kiss his cheek, "But I trust this'll be a good one so yes, I'm excited."

"In an hour you'll see what I planned for our honeymoon."

"Can't wait." Anna rested her head back and closed her eyes. She cracked one open when John started laughing. "What?"

"You just said you can't wait and now you're all settled in to fall asleep on me. Am I really so boring?"

"If I fall asleep then we get there faster and I can be well rested for anything we might have planned later." Anna leaned toward John's ear, "If I don't sleep then I'll just drag you to that bathroom and have my way with you in there."

John coughed and Anna smiled to herself when she flicked her eyes down and saw the rest of his reaction. "Unless you _want_ to join the Mile High club?"

"Not on a borrowed plane, no." John swallowed, "I'm a bit of a stickler about how I treat those things I borrow. Leave them better than you found it an all that."

"We could leave it better."

"I'm not going to restrict myself to the confines of a plane toilet." John ran a finger up her arm, "It's not nearly enough space for me to do what I want to do to you when we're alone."

"Then you'll just have to let me sleep and look forward to what we can do later." Anna smiled to herself and closed her eyes again. "Sweet dreams Mr. Bates."

The next thing Anna could say for sure she was aware of, though the doze of the flight had her hearing a number of things she immediately forgot, was John's lips on her jaw. She sighed but kept her eyes closed. The vibrations from his chuckle traveled up her cheek.

"I know you're awake."

"What if I don't want to be yet?"

"Then I'd have to leave you on this plane and go on our honeymoon alone." John bit at her ear, "You wouldn't make your new husband do that would you?"

"Depends," Anna opened her eyes and looked out the window but it gave her no better clues as to where they were than she had before, "Where have you whisked me off to?"

"Land of my forefathers," John unbuckled his belt and stood, "Welcome to Ireland Mrs. Bates."

They disembarked right into the back of a black limousine. Anna squealed at it and investigated the provided minibar while John spoke to the driver a minute. She held up a bottle of his champagne when he entered the back and closed the door.

"They've good taste."

"They should, I helped them start their company."

"What?"

"It's part of a car and cab service my cousins own. A few years ago they needed a loan to buy a few used cars. I fronted the money for them and, as a treat, I provide my brews for their mini bars when they upgraded to a higher class of service. Got me two contracts with some prestigious restaurant chains in Dublin."

"Look at you, building an international empire." Anna kissed him, running her tongue along his lower lip. John's hand came up to cup her face as she shifted from her seat to straddle his lap. She ground down, sighing as she felt him rising to the occasion.

"Anna," He warned and Anna drew back. "Same rule applies. This is borrowed space."

"You helped pay for it."

"Technically I also helped pay for Robert's plane but I still don't believe in having sex there." John moaned as Anna tightened the grip of her knees on either side of him, "Please don't try to take me here. I can't refuse you forever."

"I'm not taking you here, Mr. Bates," Anna rubbed her hand down his chest, trailing her fingers near his belt buckle, "I'm just going to enjoy making out with my husband until we get to our hotel."

"Do you have plans once you're there?" John latched his hands together behind her back to hold her to him.

"I was thinking I might want to strip you naked and strap you to the bed," Anna taunted but dissolved into squeals and giggles as John tickled at her.

"What if I told you I have plans too?" John paused and Anna caught her breath in her throat when she saw his pupils dilate. "That I already planned something very special?"

"How intensely did you plan?"

"Every detail." John kissed under her chin before settling her on the seat next to him but holding her hand in his. "Trust me."

"I do." Anna rested her head on his shoulder. "I definitely do."

They reached their destination and the driver opened the door for Anna. John nudged her out of the car and she put her hands to her mouth when she saw where they were staying. She had assumed they were staying at a hotel and because John never said differently she thought it was a given. But instead he found them a cabin on the edge of a cliff.

It was back far enough not to threaten their lives but close enough that the balcony hung toward the edge. The quaint get away sported a car in the driveway and neighbors only within visual distance if one squinted against the wind. Anna breathed the smell of the sea and basked in the silence of man while nature beat its rhythm about her.

She jumped slightly when John rested his head on her shoulder, "What do you think?"

"It's perfect."

"And you haven't seen the inside yet." John waved to the driver as he drove away. "Let me show you around."

John unlocked the front door, setting their bags just inside the entryway. The tiny hallway opened to a dark wood kitchen with granite countertops that merged with a sitting room sporting a large fireplace in the corner. John showed her up a set of stairs to a large bedroom with a matching bath. They returned to the main room for John to open the doors to the balcony so Anna could feel the sea breeze as it raced up the cliffs.

She took a deep breath and shut her eyes a moment before turning back to see John, arms cross, leaning by the door. "How'd you find this place?"

"I built it." John pointed to the cliffs, "They were selling property when I was here on a visit to open up our local brewery and I couldn't say no once I saw it. Seemed like the perfect place to bring someone I wanted to impress."

"Proud of yourself Mr. Bates?"

"Should I not be?" John shrugged, "I've just married the woman of my dreams, I've whisked her away to the middle of nowhere, and now there's a chance I get to have my way with her."

"What if I want to have my way with you?" Anna sauntered over to him, wagging her eyebrows and biting her lip.

John held at her waist, "We're here for a week."

"Then let's start now." Anna yanked John's tie and pulled his lips to hers.

He surrendered to her immediately and when she sucked at his tongue John lifted her at the waist. Anna wrapped her legs around him, to hold herself steady. But instead of going back inside the cabin John turned them on the balcony. Her back hit the wall of the cabin and Anna gasped enough to break the kiss.

John switched his attentions to attack her neck, his hips already at work thrusting toward her. Locking her ankles behind him, Anna tried to pull him closer so she could feel more of him. He responded with fervor, grunting with one of her hands squeezed his ass. One of his hands slid down her skirt and then up her leg. He brushed over her knickers before pushing his fingers into her.

Anna moaned, the force of his fingers wrapped in the lace of her knickers rubbing the textured material over her firing nerves. She raked her free hand through his hair, gaining purchase at the back of his head and forcing him back to her lips. They mixed breath as they both sought dominance over the other in their kiss with their tongues tangling.

Taking advantage of the moment, Anna snuck her hand around to flip the catch on his buckle. John scratched her lace over her folds in response to her stimulation before pinching at her nerve bundle with enough force to distract her. Her hand stuttered at pushing his trousers down and John grinned.

"This would've been harder on the plane."

"Or in the car," Anna agreed as John kissed down to the swell of her breasts through the open section of her shirt. "But it would've been fun to try."

"Yes it would." He moved her knickers to the side, leaving her weeping and ready, "But it's better here."

"Why, especially?" Anna almost bit the inside of her cheek as he graced the edge of her.

"Because here you can be as loud as you want and only I'm going to hear you." John plunged in and Anna moaned.

Given how she riled him on the plane, and again in the limo, Anna felt the force of his pent up desire. He pulled no punches as his strokes moved long and fast within her. His fingers still rapsed her knickers over her sensitized skin and she writhed in his grip.

Their chests hit one another, lungs fighting intense pleasure to inflate. Blood thundered in Anna's ears with John's hand at her center to draw her to the edge in time with the piston of his hips. Her nails dug in his hair and clung to his exposed hip before finding better purchase on his ass. It also helped draw him closer to her. Her angle changed and Anna felt him hit her deepest point.

With the crash of the waves below them Anna screamed out her end, John following her with a grunt. He rested his head on her shoulder and Anna held him to her as her own body felt like jelly. When John shifted he set her carefully to the deck, arranging the two of them so they could walk comfortably.

Anna took a deep breath, "If that's how this honeymoon is going, I think I'll rather enjoy everything else."

* * *

Anna blinked her eyes open. She pulled her face from the pillow, squinting in the lowlight, and moved her hand over the warm spot next to her. Sitting up she ran her fingers through her hair, settling it after a night that left her satisfied and sore.

She smiled to herself, pushing back the covers and gathering her dressing gown from the chair. Their cases were stowed to the side and all their clothes sorted between the bureau and the closet. John must have done it while she was asleep because after their adventure on the balcony Anna had not moved from the bed. She ran a hand down John's suit, slightly wrinkled from the day before, before padding down the stairs.

The kitchen, to her surprise, was empty. There was no noise from the bathroom upstairs or the small half-bath on the main floor and Anna turned a quick circle looking for her husband. With no note on the counter she had no idea where else he could be. A peek out the window in the kitchen showed the car still there, leaving Anna confused.

Waves hitting the cliffs below and whistling wind had Anna turning to the back doors. Her mouth twitched up to see John, wrapped in a blanket, reading while stretched out on a chair on the deck. She snuck over to the door and slipped between the provided space to walk up behind him.

John froze when she put her hands over his eyes. He closed his book and lifted his hands to hers, pulling them from his eyes to study her appendages. The investigation led to a few nonverbal responses, like a dentist makes when inspecting teeth, before he finally spoke. .

"If these hands don't belong to who I think they do, you'd best get away before my wife gets up."

"Worried she'd disapprove?"

"We haven't been married long and it's a poor way to repay that kind of dedication by having an affair so soon." He turned her hand, "With a married woman no less."

"I see," Anna slipped from his grip and pulled around the back to straddle him on the lounge chair. "My husband might not approve either. Seems a bit of the jealous type to me."

"Must be awful for you." John rested his hands on her legs. "I can't imagine a jealous man makes sure his wife is well satisfied."

"I don't know," Anna fingered the edge of the blanket, pulling it back slightly to expose John's bare chest. "He's very thorough so I may have to disagree."

"He just wants to make sure no one else'll be as good as him."

"No one is."

"Makes yon wonder why you'd ever think about leaving him." His hands slid under her dressing gown, teasing at her hips.

"Who said I was leaving him?" Anna bent forward, running her teeth along his jaw, "I came out here to wish him good morning."

"What'd you have in mind?"

Anna moved herself forward, her knees pulling the blanket away from him slightly to leave more of John's body exposed. "Perhaps something like this?"

One of her hands held the back of his neck as she took slow control over his mouth. He groaned into her kiss but then grunted when her other hand wrapped around his now exposed penis. Her hand worked around him, bringing him to life in the chill morning air.

John broke from the kiss, "I like how you say good morning."

"Only to you." Anna massaged his tip, spreading the moisture beading there over him. "I don't think I could greet other people this way."

"I should hope not." John used a hand at her ass to pull her closer, trapping her hand and his erection between them.

Anna rubbed herself on him, biting back her own responses to enjoy watching John wreck himself in front of her. His hand ran over her folds, slipping through her slickness before coming up toward his mouth. Anna grabbed his wrist to stop him and sucked herself from his fingers, never losing eye contact, until his fingers were clean again.

He lost control at that. His nostrils flared and he lifted Anna just enough to sink into her. She threw her head back, nails scratching down his chest. His hand at her ass dug in with bruising efficiency to hold her to him as he rutted his hips.

Anna matched his thrusts, digging in with her knees on the cushions of the chair, and rolled her hips into his. John groaned, throwing his head back on the headrest. Anna seized her opportunity and attacked his throat. She kissed over any of his skin she could reach, screeching a bit when his fingers played at her center.

"Tease," She gasped, trying to breathe, "Play fair."

"Never." John ground her down on him, "I can't play fair when every time I look at you I want you."

"Want me how?" Anna panted, holding at his shoulders to find some purchase so she could keep steady on him.

"Fishing for compliments?"

"Answer the question."

"Want to have children with you. To wake up with you every morning. To wash dishes with you and flick the bubbles at you until we're soaked." John's breathing sped up to match the erratic and frenzied movements of his hips. He rocked into Anna, changing her position, and she cried out as he hit the right spot inside her so she ran nearer and nearer to her release. "To lose myself in you."

"Don't stop." She begged, holding his head near her shoulder, "Please don't."

"I won't." John moved his head, "I'll never stop."

Anna kissed him with her eyes closed to see the white sparks explode before her vision. He stuttered slightly, body working out the last of his climax before he leaned back against the chair. She went with him, arms woven around his shoulders.

"Good thing we're alone here." Anna murmured and then lifted her head to look at John, "Because I don't think our neighbors at home would've approved."

"Probably not." John wrapped the blanket around them, "But I approved."

"I did too."

"Then that's all that matters."


	16. Bedside

Anna wrapped her hands around the mug and blew on it. She smiled as she watched John come over, enfolding her in a blanket before taking his own cup. He settled with her on the couch in front of the fireplace and then leaned around his shoulder to see outside.

"Just our luck that in July it decides to drop twenty degrees and storm."

"I love stormy days." Anna snuggled in the blanket and moved closer to him. "It's an excuse to wear sweatpants, sit around drinking tea and cocoa, and take a nap at any time after you wake up."

"I didn't think you needed an excuse to nap." John kissed her, "But I'll agree to all of the above as long as I get to do them with you."

"Deal." Anna stared into the fire a moment, her jaw shifting from one side to the other as she considered an idea. "John?"

"Hm?"

"There's something else," Anna set the mug on the little table next to the couch, "That I think we could do with a big fireplace."

"Roast marshmallows?" John's face lit up like a child told they are about to get a puppy. "My secret kryptonite is a proper s'more."

"Not s'mores." Anna stood up from the couch and held the blanket around her a second. "Something a little less food related."

John furrowed his brow, "Sorry, I'm not following."

"You will." Anna laid the blanket back on the couch and unzipped her sweatshirt. "I've really enjoyed this week. Touring Dublin, visiting all those scenic spots, and having some excellent food."

"But?"

"But," Anna tossed her sweatshirt on the couch and pulled her shirt over her head. John just stared at her, his mouth slightly open. She grinned. She had him. "I've enjoyed our time here more."

"Wha-" John cleared his throat, "Why's that?"

"I don't know," Anna tilted her head to the side as she undid the button on her jeans and pulled the zipper down slowly, "It could have something to do with how you wake me up in the morning."

"I wake you up like that at home." John finally put his mug to the side, his hands going to rest on his knees.

"True, but here we're not fighting a clock for you to get to work or me being so knackered just coming from work." Anna stepped out of her jeans, tossing them to the couch so she stood with her back to the fire in just her underwear. "And here we can have sex anywhere, anytime."

"Is that what you wish we could do Anna?" John leaned forward, "Leave our jobs and live here to have sex all the time?"

"No," Anna wrapped her hands around her back to unclasp her bra, "Because then that would be everyday and I wouldn't want to lose how special this is."

"No, no, definitely don't want to lose it," John shook his head so violently Anna snickered at his response.

"Good thing then we have this fire then right?" Anna slipped her arms out of her straps and tossed the bra onto the couch. "You wouldn't want me to feel cold would you?"

"Absolutely not."

Anna glided her knickers down her legs, tossing them to John when she finished, "For your collection, Mr. Bates."

John caught the knickers but left them on the table. He pulled his jumper over his head with his shirt as Anna sat down on the floor. A moment later, pushing his own trousers and pants down in a single go, John was next to her.

His hand went to the back of her neck to hold her in place as he started kissing her mouth. He pulled away, kissing up to her ear as her hand skated over his arm to his shoulder and then to his hair. The tickle of his breath near her ear had Anna sighing.

"Do you know what I've loved about being here?"

"What?" Anna tipped backward, John lowering her to the floor.

"That every kiss I get from you is mine now. That every sound I pull from you is music to my ears because they belong to me. That every time I feel your skin on mine it's because it's supposed to be there."

Anna gasped as he sucked where her jaw met her chin. Her own hand ran down his back, grabbing at his ass. He jerked toward her and Anna grinned before John kissed it away.

"Do you know what else, Anna?" John ran his tongue down the middle of her neck, slithering his body to spread her legs wider. "Every time I kiss you it's because it's yours. Every time I feel pleasure it's because you gave it to me. Every time I bury myself in you it's because you drive me there. Without you, it's all meaningless."

Anna's head went back toward the shaggy rug, her fingers clinging to his head and back as he ran his tongue over her breasts. His hands danced over her, tugging and soothing in perfect synchronization with his tongue. John sucked at her, driving Anna to arch her back and give him better access to her chest.

When Anna started reciting John's name he moved downward, kissing and massaging a trail for himself before running his fingers through her folds. Making eye contact with her John pulled her hips from the floor and put his lips on her. His fingers and tongue delved as deeply as they could go before he drew back, running through her folds to pull her nerves into his mouth. She rutted against him, seeking that release to the ecstasy building in her body.

John worked back down, using his three fingers to press and move against her insides while his tongue and mouth took to their task with the same energy he gave every kiss. He worried her folds with his mouth, plunging his tongue deep before curling as if to scoop her taste from her. Anna panted for breath, colors dancing before her eyes, and tried not to completely lose herself in the feel of John working as tirelessly as he always did to bring her over the edge.

And it came like it always did. In a rush of color and sensation and breathless joy. Anna's ride back to reality was eased by the careful ministrations of John working her down from her high.

She tilted up just enough to kiss him, groaning at the familiar and always wonderful taste of him mixed with her. The fire gave them both a sheen of sweat but Anna loved how it made John's skin glow. She also loved how it gave her the boldness she needed to flip John onto his back.

He bit the rug with a sharp release of breath but Anna used it as a distraction when she slid herself down his body. In her best imitation of John, Anna nipped and kissed at his skin. Her hands worked over him, loving the way his muscles rippled and tensed as his body responded.

With her legs straddling his Anna licked a stripe up his erection. John gave a moan of his own and Anna sucked off the top, waiting until John stared at her before licking her lips. He held his breath until Anna took him in her mouth.

That was when Anna was grateful they were far away from other people. The sounds coming from John only spurred her onward. But about the moment she could taste more of him his hands pulled at her shoulders. She lifted her head and John shifted to kiss her.

He broke the kiss, holding his forehead to hers as her hand wrapped around him. When he jerked in her grip John gritted his teeth. "Please Anna."

"Please what John?"

"Let me be inside you."

Anna moved her hands to his shoulders and used him as the leverage she needed to sink down on him. They both paused, moaning together in harmonious harmony before John moved in Anna. He wrapped an arm around her back and moved his hips to thrust himself deeply. She wrapped her legs around him, digging her heels into the rug to counter, and tilted just enough to leave John striking the perfect angle when their bodies met.

John kissed her again, pulling at her tongue as he set his bruising rhythm. Anna responded by digging her nails into his back when his hand teased her breast. His mouth joined his hand a moment later and Anna could barely breathe. She snuck her own hand between them, massaging herself to get that rise so she could peak again. But when her hand slipped and brushed John, more than once, his pace moved from controlled to frenzied to frantic to frenetic to unleashed.

He released, giving his final few thrusts as his hand joined Anna's to send her over the edge again. She cried out and only just held herself vertical while her voice tried to come back to her. John collapsed back to rug and Anna struggled to hold herself above him any longer so she just gave up and fell to his chest. His arm wrapped around her, holding her there as their breathing and heartbeats synchronized.

"I'll never be able to look at a fire the same way again." John mused and Anna giggled, lifting herself just enough to look at him. "This was one of your better ideas Mrs. Bates."

"Too bad we can't put one in my apartment."

"Maybe we could put one in a new house," John threaded their fingers together, "There's always possibilities there."

"You want a new place?"

"Not immediately but eventually. I mean," John shifted his shoulders on the rug, "Your apartment doesn't have room if we want to expand our family."

"True," Anna stood, smiling down at John, "But we'll worry about that later. For now, I think you should join me for a soak in the tub."

"I think I should too. Especially since I think you added to my collection," John craned to see his back, "How many more marks did you give me?"

"Enough so if you ever went to prison and had to show off your scars you can brag about how well satisfied you left your wife." Anna kissed his cheek, "But I'll make it worth your while."

"You already do." John kissed her back, "Go draw the bath and I'll clean up down here."

Anna was at the stairs before she stopped. She walked back to John and hugged him. He returned it, a little less free with it than she was, and stepped back.

"What was that for?"

"This has been the best vacation anyone ever took me on and the best thing anyone ever did for me."

"I think the best thing that happened to me was when I met you," John kissed Anna's hand, thumb rubbing over her rings. "Everything after that is just bonus."

"Charmer."

"I hope so," John turned her toward the stairs and swatted her ass, "Now get the bath ready or we won't have enough time to soak before we need to get to bed. We've got an early start tomorrow."

"Yes Mr. Bates."

* * *

Anna worked the earbud into her ear before sliding her phone to connect the call. "Hello gorgeous. It makes me so happy to hear your voice."

"Is this how you answer to all your gentlemen callers?" Anna smirked at the sound of jealousy on the other end of the line.

"Only the ones who sleep with me." Anna pulled to a stop and checked all directions before making a right. "What's on your mind?"

"I think I've freed up my schedule for Tuesday."

"Tuesday?"

"House hunting."

"Right," Anna shook her head, "Sorry, I almost forgot."

"Did you make plans with your secret lover?"

"After all the loving I do with you I don't think I'd have time for anyone else. I'd be a husk after all those orgasms."

"Only if your secret lover helps you orgasm."

"Why? Have you met him?"

"Well, it just so happens I-" Anna jumped when the sound from the other line burst in her ear. She pulled her car to the side of the road and took out the earbud, holding the phone to her ear instead, thinking perhaps her earbud died a rather grand death.

"John?" The line buzzed like static but then she heard distant shouting on the end of the line. "John!"

The line went dead. Anna stared at her phone for a minute before dialing 999. She checked the road and pulled back onto it, risking a U-turn and pressing down on the gas hard enough to squeal her tires slightly. Anna was so focused on the road that when the other end of the line answered she almost dropped the phone in surprise.

"Yes? Hello my name's Anna Sm- Anna Bates, it's Anna Bates. I'm calling because I was just talking to my husband on the phone and it sounded like something exploded on his end of the line. Yes, he's at his place of business. The Bubble Room. The address… off the top of my head it's… it's twenty-ten Downton Lane… it's in East Finchley. Yes, the brewery, that's the one."

Anna waited, her lungs contstricting as she forced air into them. The sounds on the other end of the line had her tapping the wheel as she drove, the needle on the speedometer edging closer and closer to unwise speeds on the roadway this time of the morning. But Anna pushed on, determined to reach John as quickly as possible. What she would do once she got there was a mystery but it did not matter. Anna needed to be by John's side.

"Yes, hello? Yes. Okay. How long do they think? I can stay on the line."

Anna took a corner sharply enough to send another car honking after her but everyone else could sod it for all she cared. Her car raced down the narrow lanes, sending her speeding along until she could see the roof of the Bubble Room in the distance. She almost dropped the phone.

Billowing black smoke pumped from the roof. The distance sound of sirens had Anna pulling her car to the side to let them pass her but she followed quickly, hanging up with the operator. They stopped in the parking lot and Anna barely put her car in park and turned the key before she was out the door.

John's employees were gathering on the grass or in the lot, all shouting to find one another between fits of coughing. Most were trembling, some were covered in dark soot, and a few appeared to have taken a minute to stop-drop-and-roll because their clothing was singed or black in places. Anna scanned the crowd and realized John was not there as a fireman came up to her.

"I need you to step back ma'am."

"I need to find my husband."

"No, we need to find your husband and you to help us do that by staying back." The fireman waited, "Alright?"

Anna nodded the fireman joined the others. She recognized the man they spoke to before three of them flipped visors and ran into the building. Anna went over to the man, coughing between gasps on an oxygen mask.

"Mr. Laing, yes?" Laing nodded and Anna pointed toward the building, "Is my husband still in there?"

Laing nodded then shrugged. He went to remove the mask but the fireman near him put a hand over it. He glared at Anna and pointed back toward her car.

Anna took a few steps backward before going to her car. As she did she saw three people emerge from the building. One of them was the fireman who insisted Anna stay put. The other man was John.

She ran to him, stopping short when she recognized the woman John carried in his arms was his mother. Even with all of Anna's medical experience being limited to the televised medical dramas she used to binge watch, she could recognize the danger in the way Mrs. Bates wheezed. Anna looked to John and then the fireman.

"She needs a hospital, soon as she can. Preferably with someone."

"I can't go with her." John ran a hand through his sooty hair as the ambulance squad ran toward them, two of them strapping Mrs. Bates to a gurney before wheeling her back to the truck. "I've got to make sure everyone here is out."

"I'll go with her," Anna put a hand on John's arm, "I'll take care of her."

John nodded and Anna followed the ambulance squad. She stopped them closing the door, "Which hospital?"

"Memorial."

"I'll follow you then." Anna ran to her car and peeled out of the lot after the whirring ambulance.

The wait, after parking in the lot that would probably cost her a small fortune when she went to leave, felt interminable. Anna paced the hallway, having already sent the texts to Mrs. Hughes, Blake, Talbot, and Mary apprising them of the situation and asking them to cover for her. The nurses moved around her and the doctors rushed around the A&E like each needed to reach a step count for the day faster than anyone else.

Eventually a nurse came out, smiling as best as could be expected, considering the job she did everyday. "Mrs. Bates?"

"Yes?" Anna wrung her hands.

"I'm Nurse Crawley."

"Crawley?"

"Yes, not a very common name I know but-"

"My friend's last name if Crawley."

"Oh," The older woman smiled, "How interesting."

"Yes, it is." Anna shook her head, "Sorry, you came out for a reason."

"I did."

"Do you have news?"

"I do." Nurse Crawley took a breath, "The doctors have put your mother on oxygen and life support."

"Life support?"

"Just a precaution," Nurse Crawley held up her hands to try and calm her. "Given the amount of smoke she inhaled and her advanced age they thought it'd give her the best fighting chance."

"Can I go see her?"

"Yes, I think she'd be grateful of the company." Nurse Crawley escorted Anna through the wards to a room with a temporary placard reading 'Bates' and opened the door. "Just take a seat there and the doctor'll be in when more of the tests come back. He doesn't want to give news before he knows it."

"Thank you." Anna took the chair and stared at Mrs. Bates.

She looked like something from a low budget science fiction movie, from all the tubes and wires sticking from her to the annoying beeping machines. Anna pulled the only chair closer to the bed and put her hand over Mrs. Bates's closest appendage. The woman did not even move, as if Anna was not there at all… or as if she could not feel anything at all.

The rhythm of the machines soon drown themselves out and Anna found herself overly preoccupied with the rise and fall of Mrs. Bates chest. When a hand came down on her shoulder Anna jumped almost out of her chair. Ready to reprimand whoever had the gall to scare her, Anna turned to see John there.

She leapt out of the chair to embrace him. Her arms clung about his neck and shoulders and she sobbed into his smoke-scented shirt. He held her close, face buried in her hair.

After a moment Anna pulled away, wiping at her eyes, "Did you find everyone?"

"Yeah. They found everyone."

"Anyone hurt?"

John hung his head, "Two apparently died on way to hospital. They'd breathed in too much smoke and their lungs couldn't take it. I have three in the burn ward getting treated but nothing more serious than a third degree on an arm but they tell me no significant nerve damage."

"Everyone else?"

"They just needed some oxygen."

Anna bit her lip, "And the Bubble Room?"

"Most of the production lines are damaged. All the cellars automatically seal themselves in case of something like this so our stores should be fine. A couple of the pipes burst and sent alcohol everywhere… which apparently only made it worse for the fire and the firemen."

"John I'm so sorry."

"It's up to the fire brigade now." John held Anna close to him, "I'm sorry, I must've sent you into a state over the phone."

"I'd rather know about it then be at home tonight wondering where you were." Anna pulled him to the chair, "Sit down a minute."

"If I do I might not get up again."

"We'll deal with that when we need to." Anna pushed him into the chair. "Take a minute and I'll be back."

She was almost to the door when she heard John speak. "I found her."

Anna stopped, "What?"

"I found my mother on the floor. I'd tried to clear everyone else out and I was coming back through the offices. I think she tripped in the commotion and hit her head on the way down. Her knee'd been acting up and I told her to get a came but she said canes are for old people." John reached out a hand to just caress the motionless one on the bed, "She wasn't moving."

Anna walked back to her husband to put her hand over his, forcing him to look at her. "It'll be alright John. It will. They've got good doctors here and great staff. She's a fighter. She wouldn't give up like that."

John nodded and pointed to the door, "You go, I'll stay."

"I'm getting you something to eat. I'm not leaving forever."

Anna left the hospital and crossed the street to the shop there. She bought sandwiches and biscuits, adding some coffee and tea to the order to make sure they had the energy they needed to at least last a night in the hospital. Within ten minutes she was back across the street, hurrying through the hallways to Mrs. Bates's room.

John was already asleep in the chair, his hand still holding his mother's. Anna set the food beside him and drank her tea in the corner by the window, leaning on the sill and even attempting to sit on it before giving up, waiting around in the beeping. Not having John there had been torture. Having him here and yet so distraught was almost worse.

Anna slipped on the wall, waking herself from the half sleep she dozed in. Risking a check to her phone Anna berated herself for leaving her charger in the car and quickly shut it back off when she saw how late it was. Or early, depending on how one looked at linear time. Nocturnal people, like herself, viewed five in the morning as late.

About the moment Anna debated drinking the cold and disgusting coffee she bought for John all those hours ago, one of the machines changed. The beeping took on a klaxon like quality and Anna saw John jerk himself awake as nurses and doctors rushed into the room. They pushed John back and stopped Anna getting over to him as they shouted what sounded like nonsense and babble to one another.

Someone read off numbers that sounded important and someone else pulled two paddles from a cart before a doctor held out a hand. The room froze as the doctor shook his head. The nurses slowly stepped back, leaving it to the doctor and one other person to make a record of what sounded to Anna like 'Todd' at the exact hour and minute.

Then it hit Anna. John, sleep deprived and slightly manic, took a second longer to understand. He started arguing with the doctor while the nurse- Nurse Crawley- tried to get John back into his chair. Anna joined in the effort but John threw them both off and walked toward the door of the room.

Anna felt her heart brake in two as John raked his fingers through his hair only to grip at the back of his head with force enough to tear out hair in tufts if he wanted. He growled at nothing before punching at the wall. It dented the material there but John only sank to his knees, sobbing. Anna went over to him, wrapping her arms over his shoulders, and held his head to her as she kissed his temple.

He turned into her embrace, burying his head between her neck and shoulder. His tears soon dampened her shoulder but she did not care. Her hands worked to rub over his back, trying to ease his pain in anyway she could.

But she knew it was not enough. It would never be enough. It was just all she had to give him and for a moment it could pretend to be enough. It could be enough for them, if for no one else.

* * *

Anna hated wearing black. It was not exactly her color. Technically, according to a long and very unnecessary conversation with Mary a long time ago, it was everyone's color in strategic amounts. Anna disagreed because unless her dress was flirty or easy to remove, black always meant something died. Fashion, taste, or- in the most serious of cases- people.

The funeral for Mrs. Bates defied all expectations and was actually a rather humid, hot August with a full sun. For a moment Anna believed it couldn't be real because weather like this did not exist. But then Anna remembered, weather like this existed for Mrs. Bates because she told it to.

The priest read the prayers and made the sign of the cross over the grave. Anna bowed her head and recited the prayer with the priest while John stayed silent at her side. She took his hand in hers and he immediately returned her grip.

They had planned the funeral together. John fronted all expenses, having insured his mother long ago at her insistence, and they bought her a lovely plot near her family in Ireland. All of John's living attended, making Anna realize that not every family was as fractured as hers. And they all complimented Anna's meticulous planning of the funeral to include all the appropriate religious aspects.

It was one thing she and Mrs. Bates had always shared, a devotion to God. Anna smiled to herself, wiping away another flow of tears, recalling the discussions she and Mrs. Bates had over dinner when they debated Catholicism versus Anglicanism. More than that, it gave them something else to tease John about when he claimed a more agnostic approach to religion. He had been more than grateful when Anna offered to handle the funeral. He was his mother's dutiful son but Anna was a dutiful daughter.

As the service finished John waited by the grave, taking the condolences from the friends and family who came before they all drove to the rented hotel conference room for the wake. Everyone wanted to have it in a pub but when no one could decide which one Mrs. Bates liked best or argued about which one everyone could be happy going to or realized they couldn't all fit in one anyway they'd agreed to Anna's suggestion of a large, rented space with a few different pub owners providing drinks.

Anna and John walked back to their car, John striding slowly and Anna keeping step with him. She rubbed up his arm and he enclosed her fingers in his. He squeezed tightly a moment before stopping.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me John."

"But I do." John pointed to the grave and the casket. "You helped plan all this and you didn't have to."

"She's family John." Anna kissed his hand, "We do what we can for family."

John nodded, "I finally got the report from the Fire Chief back so we can take care of the rest of our family."

"What'd he say?"

"Once they accounted for all the burst pipes where the alcohol enraged the flame they found traces of an accelerant."

"Someone set the fire on purpose?"

John nodded, "When I asked for them to compare it to the one someone set at the Cerulean two years ago do you know what they found?"

"It was the same, wasn't it?" John nodded again and Anna closed her eyes, "Who'd want to do something like this?"

"I think the better question is, who has it out for us?" John opened the car door for her. "I don't remember pissing anyone off enough to have them killing my mother or any of my employees."

"Or Matthew." Anna took her seat, "Whomever it is, I hope they burn in hell."

"Seems fitting."

They only spent an hour at the wake as John's relatives traded stories, then barbs, and then punches in a cyclical fashion. With John as a nondrinker and Anna only drinking socially, the abundance of imbibed alcohol sent both of them up to their room for an early night to catch their flight the next day.

Anna finished in the bathroom, listening to John's slow movements in the other room. He never moved quickly, always measuring his steps as the best possible use of his energy. The picture of efficiency.

But this was speed decreased by grief. The burden on his shoulders dragged him down until it was too much for him to bear. Anna broke with the sound just like her heart broke for him.

She left the bathroom and saw him lying on the bed. He only wore his pants, not bothering with pajamas. Moving at all for him had been difficult lately and it was all Anna could do to spur him forward for anything. But she knew the signs. She'd endured them before.

The overwhelming grief could be more than a person could handle on their own but sometimes their biggest difficulty was in knowing how to hand it off to someone else. How to share that kind of pain. How to give it to someone else when no one wanted it for themselves. The reverse psychology of the pain being easier when two people had it instead of one suffering alone. How could anyone let that go?

As Anna approached the bed she realized that John helped her let go once. Helped her bear her burdens when she finally laid them at his feet. Maybe she could do the same for him now.

Anna pulled her nightgown over her head. John turned slightly, drawn by the movement, and his eyes widened when Anna stripped herself of her knickers. He seemed too mesmerized to even think when Anna climbed onto the bed and straddled his legs.

She tugged at the bottom of his pants to pull them down his legs and John lifted his hips to help her. Anna massaged back up, avoiding his half-hard arousal, to his shoulders. She took her time, relaxing every inch of him before beginning to kiss his skin until it shined.

John tried to catch her lips when they passed his but Anna dodged out of the way. She kneaded over his chest, brushing her lips in a zigzagging pattern. The hum of his blood vibrated on her lips and his muscles flexed with the movements of her mouth.

By the time she reached his arousal it was prouder and more ready to meet her. Anna smiled and wrapped a hand over him. John responded with his body, bucking into her grip as she stroked him from root to tip and back again. Her tongue flicked out to taste over him, running patterns but never quite taking him fully inside. He moaned and murmured for her but Anna refused him, driving him to the edges of pleasure like he did to her so often before.

But the moment did come. Anna realized John needed something more than for her to suck him off. That would be easy and wonderful but he needed to feel something more than that. He needed to feel her. He needed to feel that in the worst of all griefs she was there for him.

Anna mounted him and gyrated slowly. She thought about his controlled efficiency and sought to emulate it. She considered all the times he had ever taken her over the edge with the minutest of touches and most careful of caresses. She contemplated his loving adoration with every move of his body on hers. She tried to do for him what he did for her.

It worked better than she expected. John grabbed her hips and flipped them on the bed. He wrapped her legs around him and used the new angle to control his movements. Anna watched his eyes as he chased his pleasure first. For the first time in their relationship John gave in to his desires first.

Anna used her knees to leverage herself slightly so John's pelvic bone hit right where she needed it. Her kneeing cries filled the room as harmony to the sounds their bodies made together. And when they both went over the edge Anna held John to her, refusing to let him shift away.

His tears wet her shoulder and his body shook with his racking sobs. Anna ran her hand over his back, muttering nonsense in his ear until his breathing evened and he drifted to sleep. Anna only turned them enough to put him on his side but stayed wrapped with him. As close as two people who love one another can be.

* * *

Anna took a deep breath and set the stick on the counter. Stepping toward the tub she paced, one hand covering her mouth and the other at her hip. A minute later Anna returned to the counter, studying the symbol there with mixed emotions.


	17. Ashes of Hope

Anna wrung her hands again, pacing the length of her sitting room as the front door opened. She gathered her breath, eyes darting to the stick on the coffee table, and tried to smile when John came into the room. He stopped, looking around before speaking.

"Is everything okay?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well," John draped his coat over the back of the island chair and put his bag on top of it. "You're home, in the afternoon, on a day that's not Tuesday."

"I took the day off."

"Are you sick?" John had his hand to her forehead before Anna could answer, "You do feel a little warm but maybe I should take you to the doctor just to be sure."

"I think they'd tell me what I already know since I went today."

John reached for Anna's hands, "Is it serious?"

"Pretty serious."

"Can we do anything?"

"There are some things we can do to prepare but in the end we just have to wait and hope it resolves itself."

"Anna," John pulled her to him and Anna felt his head shift. He stepped back from her and bent toward the coffee table. Anna bit her lip as John picked up the test and stared at the symbol there. "Is this- Is this yours?"

"Technically, it's ours." Anna smiled at John, "We're having a baby, John."

He did not answer for a minute, just kept staring at the test. In the next moment John lifted Anna off the ground and hugged her to him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders to return his embrace.

When he put her down, John settled Anna in a chair and then went to his knees. He put his hands on her stomach before looking up at her. Anna nodded and John rolled the edges of his jumper up before kissing at her bellybutton. His hand caressed there, touching gently.

"Hello." John whispered, "I don't think you can hear me yet but I'm already excited to meet you."

Anna brushed at her eyes as John put his hands on her cheeks, "Anna, you've no idea how happy I am right now."

"I think I do if you feel anything like I do."

"Shame on you though," John tickled at her, "Making me think you had something awful."

"I was- I was nervous," Anna fought John off, holding his arms out so he could not reach her, "Because I knew I said when you proposed that this could happen and that we should let it happen but I didn't know if I wanted it to happen just yet."

"It's been five months Anna. It's not like we made a honeymoon baby."

"Just the timing," Anna blew out, "With the Ebony opening, and Christmas, and New Year, and you rebuilding… it all just seems like the wrong time."

"It's the perfect time." John kissed her then stopped, frowning, "How far along?"

"When I went to the doctor they said probably three months or so."

"That would put it…" John ticked back on his fingers and stopped, "Ireland."

Anna nodded, "Your mother's funeral, probably."

"Well Mary Shelley lost hers on her mother's grave so I guess making ours after my mother was buried in her grave seems a little less extreme."

Anna swatted at John with a pillow and he rolled to grab another to defend himself. They battle back and forth until John trapped Anna in his arms and started laying kisses all over her neck. She tried to fight him but with how gentle he was she only melted in his grip.

"If you don't stop we'll never be able to have guests in this room." Anna groaned as John slipped a hand under her jumper, running his fingers where their child grew.

"Wouldn't that be the fun of it?" He teased, "We'd know and they wouldn't?"

"Mary would know."

"Then we don't invite Mary." John used his other hand to pop the button on Anna's jeans, "Or we just buy a new couch when we move."

"Fine," Anna twisted in his arms, pulling him toward the couch, "But I pick the design."

"You can design the whole house if you want." John pulled his shirt over his head and toed off his shoes and socks. "As long as I get to share it with you I'm content."

"So am I." Anna grabbed the back of his head and held there, "You've made me so happy John."

"I intend to make you happier." John pushed her jeans down her legs faster than Anna could register before pulling her jumper over her head.

"Is that a promise Mr. Bates?" Anna teased, running her tongue over the edges of her teeth before moaning as John kissed a line down her neck to the valley between her breasts.

"More like a habit." John unclasped her bra and dropped it to the floor to kiss over her breasts. His fingers lifted the edges of her knickers and one hand held her ass to keep her in place as he sucked one of her nipples into his mouth and the other teased at her folds. Anna's knees buckled but John stepped forward and sat her on the couch while pulling her knickers off her legs.

If Anna felt any kind of vanity she might have said it was almost like being a goddess. The way John used every moment to touch and kiss her. He listened to her sounds and followed them to the smallest of pleasures to leave Anna humming with energy. Her blood rushed in her ears and gave her body a lovely red glow as John dragged his lips to her bellybutton again.

His fingers stroked inside her. Smooth, even motions meant to give her a rise as he manipulated her breasts with his other hand. His mouth stayed near her stomach, delighting in the nonverbal communication he used with the baby. Anna moved with him, directing his hand with her fingers clutching his wrist, and a hand at the back of his head petted him in time with his kisses over her stomach.

She found her climax not long after, sighing out his name to the echo in their kitchen and sitting room. John sat up as Anna, still with dazed eyes, shifted on the couch. He removed his pants and pulled one of her legs up enough to slide in gently. She hissed at the feel of him inside her.

"We waited too long to do this again." John nipped at her ear, moving his lips and tongue over her neck. "I'm sorry I got so busy. Long days trying to build the Bubble Room better than before and still manage the business like nothing happened… it's no excuse."

"You think I haven't felt like I neglected you?" Anna gasped, raising her hips to him and following the guidance of his hand on her leg to pull higher and around his hip so he sank deeper. "Every time I look at my desk I think I need to come home and have my way with you but then I just fall into bed."

"Then," John thrust in again, sending them both into harmonious moans, "We take a vacation after New Years."

"I'd like that." Anna clenched at her core and basked in the rise inside her again. "We could go to Italy."

"For Valentine's Day?"

"Too clichéd?"

"I was thinking Germany." John grunted and increased his speed. "Then I can write it off for business. German beer and all that."

"Why not Russia? For the vodka?"

"Because, only Hitler and Napoleon were dumb enough to invade Moscow in the winter."

"But we're not invading." Anna tried to laugh but lost it when John struck his deepest inside her, sending her shrieking over the edge.

"How about Morocco?" John finished, catching himself on one arm until Anna rolled sideways enough to fit him next to her on the couch. She looped her leg over his hip, keeping him to her. "Or America?"

"At the end of the day, John," Anna ran her hand down the side of his face, "We could go to the Arctic… or Essex and it'd be wonderful to just be with you."

"I hope Essex isn't a deal breaker because I'm not taking you to Essex."

Anna worked herself closer to John, "Point is, I'd be happy with you anywhere… Except Essex, you're right about that."

* * *

Anna sucked in and grunted as she tried to pull the side zipper closed. She stomped her foot and pulled again but the zipper wouldn't budge. Resting her head on her closet door Anna called down the hall, "John?"

"Yeah?"

"I need some help."

A minute later John was at the door, his braces black against his white shirt as he did up his cuffs. "With?"

"The zipper." Anna lifted her arm and John stepped over, bending under her arm. "I think it's the angle."

"I think I risk death to say it but if I pull that I'll break it because I don't think this dress is your size anymore." John bent, addressing Anna's stomach. "You're making it so Mummy has to go shopping and Daddy hates shopping so I guess I know whose side you're already on."

"I'd take Mary with me." Anna eased her arms out of the sleeves and looked at her other dresses, "I should've seen this coming but I haven't needed a fancy dinner party dress since the Cerulean reopened so I didn't even think about it."

"And Baby Bates wasn't kicking around in there then to make such a commotion." John stepped back to use the mirror as he did up his tie. "I'd say wear whatever you want because they won't be looking at you."

"How'd you mean?"

"It's Mary's night isn't it?"

"Yes and no." Anna lifted a leg to get out of the dress and hung it over the back of a chair, "I'm still the majority owner of the Swans and so that means Mary's the face but I'm the brain."

"I always thought so."

Anna scowled at John before pulling out a dress, "This might work. I was going to take it in."

"Do you have a fat phase I didn't know about?" John gave Anna his shoulder as she stood on one leg.

"No. I inherited it from someone taller and larger than me. I was going to pull it in when I realized it was too big on me but I fixed the hemline before I knew there was a waist issue." Anna did a half turn in the mirror to see herself in the burgundy dress. "This actually fits very well."

"I'll say." John wrapped his arms around her from behind, meeting her gaze in the mirror. "Just well enough that I want to take it off you."

Anna pointed a finger at John, "Behave. We need to be on time."

"We could be a little late if I decided I wanted to have you right now."

"You had me already today," Anna ducked under his arm to hang up the other dress, "And the fact I couldn't fit into this other dress is proof that you've had me before."

"It's never enough."

"It's not supposed to be," Anna kissed him, "But we're going to be late."

"Your late is early," John called to her as Anna walked into the hall, pulling out her coat.

"There's no problem with that." She waited for John to join her, buttoning up his jacket as he did up her coat. Anna put her hands on John's chest. "Ready?"

"I am." He pulled the door open, "After you."

They took the same limo John booked the night of the Cerulean reopening and arrived just as the workers finished laying the red carpet. They exited the limo and John took a minute to talk about the pick up time as Anna joined Talbot, busy organizing the rest of the set up.

"Not that I didn't love the Cerulean reopening," Talbot did not even have to look to realize Anna stood there, "But I'm glad Mary insisted we do this inside."

"Me too. Shows off the interior."

"I didn't realize you'd come over to our side on the Venta Black paint."

Anna shrugged, "When we had those clients over for it and they went nuts I realized I shouldn't be holding back because it gives me a headache." Anna looked up at the building. "Fortunately for Mary and my head I probably won't be spending much time here."

"Maybe she'd think it's unfortunate."

"I doubt that, Mary likes to keep things in her own way."

"True but I guess-"

They turned to the street at the sound of tires squealing. She saw John walking toward her from the limo pulling away. He smiled and she returned the gesture for a moment before her face fell. The car speeding up the street lowered a window and Anna thought she saw something there.

Running toward John she yelled for him. John turned slightly just as a rattling noise echoed over the area. Anna hit John in the midriff and they fell to the pavement. She covered her head with her hands as John wrapped around her and prayed for the sound to stop.

It broke off suddenly with another screech and a crunch. Anna raised her head to see the car bent around the rear of the limo. Legs moved by her and Anna lifted herself off John's chest.

As she did her hands felt something wet and she almost screamed when she saw a red stain on his shirt. "John?"

"It's not me. I'm not hurt." John unbuttoned his shirt to show her before his face fell. "Anna!"

She narrowed her eyes at him before following the path of his gaze. Her fingers pressed lightly as the dark patch on her dress as she went to stand. Anna's legs buckled and she fell into John's arms, landing there while she tried to blink herself to full capacity.

"Anna, Anna, they've called the squad. It'll be okay."

"What?" Anna imagined the world spinning around her as her vision hazed. "I think I need to shut my eyes. I'm not seeing clearly."

"Anna!"

"Just a rest John, nothing dangerous."


	18. Limits of Capacity

Anna opened her eyes and tried to move her jaw but something between her teeth stopped her. She gagged and reached her hands up to pull out the tube sticking down her throat. Coughing she tossed it to the side and tried to sit up before a sharp pain stopped her. Anna grunted, putting a hand to her left side only to lift it away and trace the edge of a bandage through her hospital gown.

She swallowed, or tried to, before reaching to the table next to her to suck the straw of the bottle there. After a few pulls she ran her tongue through her mouth, relishing that the cotton feeling vanished and her tongue no longer felt like it was suffocating her. With a roll of her shoulders she slid herself up the bed to sit a little more comfortably and better analyze the room.

John's jacket was on the chair next to the bed and her coat was in the corner but John himself was nowhere to be seen. She adjusted in bed, gasping when she pulled at her abdominal muscles. Anna dug under the blanket to lift the gown and check the bandage.

The door opened and Anna turned, dropping the edge of the gown to see John. He rushed over to her and she hugged him close. "I woke up and didn't see you. Did you leave while I was sleeping?"

"I've a nasty habit of doing that to you." He pulled back, tracing his hands over her face. "How're you feeling?"

"Sore and I want to know what day it is." Anna looked at the doctor, "I hope you don't mind that I yanked that tube out of my throat."

"Normally we do mind," The doctor, sporting a well-groomed mustache held a tablet in his hands, "But seeing as you're up and talking I think we'll let it slide. I'm Doctor Clarkson and I'm the one overseeing your case."

"What's going on?"

"Do you remember what happened to you Mrs. Bates?"

"I remember tackling John to the ground and thinking he was hit but it was me. Then," Anna frowned, "I shut my eyes because it was like the world went all wonky. I just needed to close my eyes for a minute and clear my head."

"It was more than a minute but we're glad you opened them now." Clarkson tapped something on the tablet, "Do you remember what day it was?"

"Friday night. We just opened the Ebony Swan, the third in my line of restaurant night clubs except this one's more the latter than the former."

"I've been to the Cerulean Swan on occasion and my wife had me take her to the Scarlet Swan just last week so I'll put the Ebony Swan on our list when it opens."

"When it opens?" Anna shook her head, "That was the point of Friday. It opened that night."

"Anna," John wrapped her hand in his, "It's currently a crime scene."

"What?"

"Mary's chuffed about it since it gives the whole place an edgy factor they weren't intending and now the reservations've gone through the roof. They're hoping the police wrap up the investigation today."

"John what day is it?"

"It's Tuesday."

"Tuesday?" Anna turned to the Doctor, "What the hell happened to me?"

"You were shot, Mrs. Bates."

"Shot? By whom?!"

"I've been made to understand they caught the man." Clarkson nodded at John, "A Mr. Green yes?"

"Green shot me?" Anna put a hand to her forehead, "I'll kill him."

"Anna," John soothed, "Don't worry about him. The police'll sort it all out."

"Like they sorted out who burned down the Cerulean or the Bubble Room?"

"Green already admitted to that. He's going away for a long time."

Anna was seething, "They'll have to put him away because if I ever get hold of him I'll tear him to pieces."

"Darling-"

"Doctor why am I only waking up now?" Anna faced Clarkson. "If I was shot Friday then why did I not wake up until now?"

Clarkson took a deep breath, exchanging glances with John before clearing his throat. "It's probably a combination of factors. Could be anesthesia or just your body working itself to recovery."

"Don't bullshit me Doctor, please. I run three businesses for a living and I haven't the time to cut through the crap. Be straight or get me another doctor who will because I don't need platitudes and I haven't time for beating around bushes."

"Speaking plainly then? The gunshot sent you into shock. A shock your system, in its delicate state, wasn't equipped to handle." Clarkson checked his notes, "Your heart stopped beating in the ambulance on the way over but with successful resuscitation they delivered you immediately to our A&E. We took you into theater and where you flatlined again on the table while I operated on you."

"I died?"

"Yes, you did. I suspect it had something to do with weakened heart valves."

"Weakened valves?" Anna put a hand to her chest, rubbing right over her heart, "How'd I get those?"

"Looking at your medical history I'd suspect it had something to do with your past drug use. Some of the harder drugs are known to cause long-lasting medical problems. Heart failure and weakening among them." Clarkson bit his lip, "But due to the direction of the shooter and where the bullet lodged it wasn't only your life in danger, Mrs. Bates."

Anna paled. She struggled to breathe a minute, heaving for air. John rubbed his hand over her back, keeping his hand tight in her grip. "Is the baby- Is it alright?"

"I'm afraid the bullet pierced the placental sack and ruptured the uterine membrane. The placenta broke away from the uterine wall and your body tried to abort. The baby died inside you and we had to induce delivery on the operating table or else it could've killed you too."

Anna shut her eyes, hoping her tears could drown out the horrible words. She laid back on the pillow, shaking her head. "No, tell me I didn't lose my baby."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Bates but we had no way to save her. Given the age and the damage there was nothing more to do. She was already dead when we delivered."

"Her?" Anna turned to John, "We were going to have a girl, John."

"I know," John kissed Anna's hands, "I know."

"Where is she?" Anna ignored the tears making tracks down her cheeks. "Please tell me where our baby is."

"They cremated her yesterday Anna." John put a hand out her shoulder, "I told them too. They wouldn't bury her and the damage was too extensive for anything else."

"I didn't even see her, John." He moved forward and Anna sobbed into her shoulder, "I didn't even see our baby."

"I know." John held her close. "I know."

* * *

Anna gritted her teeth, biting down hard to ignore the pain that lanced up her side when she tried to raise her left arm too high. Mary stood by the door, shaking her head, "This is mad, you realize that yeah? Completely batshit crazy."

"I need to get out of this place. It's bringing up too many bad memories." Anna pulled her coat over her shoulders, "I can't stay here."

"Obviously seeing as you're checking out against doctor's recommendations."

"It's just soreness."

"And if you tear your stitches it's just blood right?" Mary held the door open before following Anna down the hall, "And why didn't you call John? He's your husband and this is one of his husbandly duties you know. Taking care of his wife in sickness and health."

"This isn't John's concern."

"Those two rings of your finger say otherwise." Mary stopped when Anna leaned on the wall, grimacing. "Not that I should say much when you've got your 'I'm Anna and nothing'll stop me' face on."

"Shut it Mary."

"No because you called me to drive you home and this is price of the ticket."

Anna shook her head, "I should've called a cab."

"You should've stayed in bed." Mary walked them to her car and held the door open, "Why are you checking out?"

"I told you-"

"No, you gave me the answer you think I'd be satisfied to hear and not say anything about." Mary shut the door and walked around the car to her door, turning the engine over, "I'm not satisfied because, unlike those who treat reformed drug addicts like you're made of sodding glass, I know you're stronger than that so whatever bullshit excuse you've got for yourself I'm not biting. Give me the real reason, Anna."

"Do you ever stop talking?" Anna put a hand to her forehead, the thumping pain in her side echoed by a thudding tattoo in her skull.

"Never." Mary pulled into traffic, "Now tell me before I get you home and then just take up space on your couch waiting for you to tell me."

"You're not taking me home."

"I sure as hell am because that's the only place recovering gunshot victims go. Other than right back to hospital."

"You're taking me to the train station."

"I most certainly am not."

"Mary for shitssake just take me to the bloody train station!" Mary jerked the car to break on the side of the road as Anna cringed. She panted through the pain and met Mary's eye, "You're taking me to the train station. I'm buying a ticket, you're not telling John where, and I'm going."

"Going where? Away? To toss yourself off a bridge? To a convent? A nunnery? Rehab clinic?" Mary stopped, her mouth forming an 'O', "You're going to Downton."

"It's where the mad and the dangerous go and I need to go there now."

"You're neither mad nor dangerous." Mary pulled back onto the road, "And I'm not putting your sorry ass on a train there."

"Then I'll sodding walk if I have to."

"Don't be an idiot Anna."

"Get stuffed Mary." They stopped at a light and Anna got out of the car. She slammed the door and shuffled away, pulling her coat tighter in the wind. Car horns followed her and Anna risked a look back to see Mary give them all the finger before chasing Anna down.

"I'm not letting you walk away. John'd kill me if he found out I abandoned you on a London street to walk to a train station so you could take a four hour ride to the pits of Yorkshire and check yourself into a mental home."

"It's a clinic, Mary."

"It's a nutter center, Anna. A place for the hopeless, the desperate, and the disturbed." Mary folded her arms, "You're hurt, physically and emotionally, and you're lashing out. But you're not that. You've never been that. And don't try to argue you were once because I remember you detoxing. I never did get the vomit out of that dress."

Anna shook her head, shivering in the wind. "I need somewhere where I'm not hurting him anymore."

"Have you thought about how hurt he's going to be to find you checked yourself out of hospital and then ran away? Bloody hell Anna that man loves you with his whole soul. It'll tear him to pieces." Mary put a hand to her forehead, her other firmly set on her hip before she pointed at Anna, "Do you realize how many people would kill for what you have with him and you're tossing it in the bin like it's nothing."

"It's not nothing, Mary."

"That man just lost his child too, Anna." Mary sucked her cheeks, "He lost you, twice, before you woke up. Do you know what a mess he was? Pacing up and down those sterile halls in the same suit, pulling out hair hoping you'd wake up, sobbing on my shoulder when he signed the form to cremate the daughter he didn't even know was a girl before he had to authorize to get her back as ashes in an urn? He didn't even have a name for the form, Anna. They just wrote 'Baby Bates' like a medical term."

Anna squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears to go away but they flowed anyway. "Stop it."

"No Anna because you're doing it again. You're blocking out everyone else and taking your pain on yourself because you think only you know how to handle it. But you don't. You're shit at managing your pain on your own because then you get destructive." Mary stepped forward, "Don't think I don't remember why they transferred you from the clinic to Downton."

"I thought you said I didn't belong there."

"You don't but you weren't you then were you?"

"That's not fair Mary."

"Do you remember why you went there? Why they restrained you in a coat that buttons up the back?" Mary held up her hands, "You're the one who tried to commit suicide because you couldn't forgive yourself for being a junkie or for being raped when those aren't things you even forgive yourself for."

"Then who forgives me? Huh? Who?"

"I thought you believed in God, Anna."

"You think God forgives people who poison themselves in bathroom stalls? Who pay for drugs with sexual favors? Who lose-" Anna put a hand to her forehead, digging her palm in there, "Who lose their babies because they their hearts are too weak to keep themselves alive?"

"Your baby died because of Green, no one else." Mary put her hands on Anna's shoulders. "You lost your baby because she was murdered, not because of you."

"Then why does it feel like I killed her?" Anna was sobbing now, collapsing on the pavement in tears. "Why does it feel like I failed the one person who believed in me and took everything away from him?"

"Because it's pain, Anna." Mary pulled Anna close, "Don't you think I know how that feels?"

Anna's fingers wrapped in Mary's coat as she cried on her friend's shoulder. "It hurts too much Mary and I want it gone."

"Then you work through it 'till it is, Anna." Mary rested her head on Anna's, "Isn't this one of those burdens you're supposed to lay at God's feet or something."

"I've walked too far away from God for Him to hear me."

"In the words of John Logan, 'No matter how far you've walked from God, He is still waiting ahead'."

Anna sniffed, "That's beautiful."

"I thought so. One of my favorite lines from _Penny Dreadful_." Mary pulled back, "Anna, we're all a mess of the mistakes we've made. There's nothing we can do but move forward and try to change."

"I can't Mary."

"Only if you say so." Mary helped Anna to her feet, "Stop being trapped by the past. It doesn't need you anymore. The future does."

Anna nodded and Mary held her close. They stayed embraced until they heard a police siren. Both looked up as the officer approached them and Mary rolled her eyes.

"Shit." Mary put on a fake smile, "Hello officer how can I help you?"

"Is this your car?"

"Most days." Mary folded her arms, "Is there a problem?"

"It's blocking traffic."

"I'm trying to talk a friend off the ledge here, officer, so I think it means a little more that I prevent her doing something incredibly stupid than worry about moving my car out of the way of traffic."

"Ledge?" The man looked confused, "What ledge?"

Mary rolled her eyes, "My friend, here on the pavement, just suffered a tragic loss and is on the edge of a mental breakdown. I'm helping her not resort to the most extreme of responses to mental stress. Do you understand?"

The man shook his head. "No."

"Idiot," Mary got in his face, "She's thinking about killing herself. I'm stopping her ergo I'm saving a life. Now sod off."

The officer, visibly startled, stepped back, "Right I'll give you a minute then."

"How gracious of you." Mary bent down to help Anna to her feet, "If you really need a place to stay then you'll stay with me."

"I can't-" Anna wiped at her eyes.

"Hush, yes you can." Mary helped her back to the car and got in. "Now we better go before the idiot wets himself."


	19. Beginning of the End

Anna looked up from the files spread out on the bed in Mary's spare room and smiled when the blonde-headed boy snuck a look in. "Hello George."

"Hello."

He bit his finger and ran in, pulling at Anna's arm. She turned on the bed, "What? What is it George? Are there monsters under your bed again?"

George shook his head and pointed to the door. Anna glanced at the space and her breath caught in her throat. John stood in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. He nodded toward George, "His mother won't forgive me but I promised him a fiver if he brought me back to see you while Mary popped to the loo."

"No, she won't forgive you." Anna brought her legs up on the bed, moving the files out of the way, "Want to sit down?"

"Sure."

John dug a fiver out of his pocket and slipped it into George's hand before the boy bounded from the room. "Rambunctious little guy isn't he?"

"He's something." Anna pulled the borrowed dressing gown closer around her as John sat on the end of the bed, both just out of reach of one another. "How are you?"

"Not well." John stared at Anna, "You look a lot healthier."

"Mary's been insisting on bringing me Mrs. Patmore's food and it's hard not to get your strength back eating that." Anna shrugged, "I'm almost back at weight."

"Good." John nodded, running his palms up and down the thighs of his jeans. "That's good."

"What about you? You're looking a bit peaky."

"I haven't had Mary as my jailer so my food's been a little less regulated."

"John," Anna put out a hand but stopped herself, "I don't want you to get ill."

"I wouldn't have thought I mattered that much."

"Why would you ever think that?"

John raised his eyebrows, "You're really asking that question? After you checked out of hospital without telling me and then barricaded yourself in your friend's house to get away from me?"

"I wasn't getting away from you John."

"Then what do you call it?' John stood, raking a hand through his hair, "Because I don't have a logical reason for why my wife would run away from me unless she was worried I might hurt her."

"It's nothing like that."

"Then explain it to me Anna," John got on his knees and took her hands in his grip. "Explain to me why you ran."

Anna stared at the bedspread, unable to meet his eyes. "Because I thought it would be easier than making you look at me everyday just to remember I lost your child."

"What?" John jerked on Anna's hands until she turned back to him, her gaze blurring with tears. "Why would you think that's how I see you?"

"Because it's how I see myself, John. I'm broken and spoiled and damaged. I'm not what you need."

"Anna you're exactly what I need." John climbed back on the bed, "I've been sitting alone in the dark for weeks praying you'd come home. Praying I could wrap myself in your arms and cry about everything that's happened but I've been alone. You won't answer my calls or texts or even emails. I went through Talbot and Mary but both came back with shit about you being fine but how you didn't want to see me. Why would you shut me out like that? Why leave me?"

"I'd only bring you more pain."

"You being gone hasn't brought me any less, Anna."

"It's better like this."

"Better for whom?" John's voice rose, "Better for whom, Anna?"

"For both of us," She spluttered. "I've brought you nothing but misery since I came into your life. I lost Mary her husband, I lost you your mother and your business, I lost- I lost-"

"We lost our baby, Anna. She was ours and we lost her, not just you." John shook his head, "Stop thinking you're the only one in pain."

"But you wouldn't be if not for me."

"That's a lie and you know it. But if it gives you bitter comfort at night you keep telling yourself that." John stood, "If you want out so badly, if you want to leave me, then you need to file for divorce because that's the only way I'd leave you. You'd need the sodding law to keep me from you but even that might not be enough."

Anna shook her head, "I'm not worth it John."

"That's not for you to decide, Anna." John leaned on the end on the bed, "I didn't marry you because I thought you were perfect or because I thought everything would be roses. I'm not an idiot. I knew who you were when I married you."

"Then why bother John?"

"Because I loved the person I was with you. Because I loved the person you were with me. Because I thought, after you destroyed your living room in a tirade, that you'd be okay but you're not okay Anna. You've been pretending at okay so long you fooled yourself and everyone around you. I'm sorry to say you fooled me."

Anna only snorted. "I'll never be okay."

"Not yet, no. But you need to actually start being okay and that only starts when you actually want to be okay." John leaned forward, "Do you want to be okay Anna?"

Anna brought her knees to her chest and sobbed into her arms. She felt John's wrap around her as her whole body shook. When she managed enough air to attempt words all she could do was whisper. "I can't do it anymore John. I can't go on like this. I'm shattered and I don't even know where to begin picking up the pieces. I can't make it all right again."

"You don't have to make it right Anna. You can let it all go."

She turned to him, "How?"

"I don't know but there's got to be a way."

"What way?"

"Maybe with God." John waited a moment, "I admit I didn't pay attention much in church. I thought Mass was boring but I remember one story. The one about the woman taken in adultery."

"What about it?"

"Jesus told the woman to go and sin no more. He didn't condemn her for her sins like everyone wanted Him to. He told her to go and be better."

"You don't believe in God John."

"But you do and I think God believes in you Anna." John took a breath, "I may not believe much in God but if there was one that I did believe in He'd be the kind of person to give you a chance to try again and be better the next time. He wouldn't condemn you your sins if you really wanted to make then right. He wants you well and He'd want you to stop raking yourself over the coals for fifteen years worth of pain."

"I don't know how to get rid of it."

"Then we get rid of it together. One day at a time." John reached into his pocket and extracted his phone. He tapped on the photos app and held it up for Anna to see. "Here, in our new home."

Anna flicked through the pictures, slowly. It was lovely, warm, and quaint; the same style as his office at the Bubble Room with a fireplace in the front room. She reached the last picture and saw the small urn on the mantle. Her fingers brushed over the photo as John held her closer.

"Little Jean's just keeping watch for us."

"Jean?" Anna bit her lip, still touching the picture.

"After my mother. I thought it was appropriate."

"Very." Anna nodded and handed the phone back. "It's beautiful John."

"Mary helped me since you were incommunicado and I wanted it settled for when you came home… if," John paused, "If you ever came home."

"I want to."

John stopped, "What?"

Anna took a deep breath, "I'm want to come home John."


	20. Start of Forever

Anna waved Blake, Talbot, Mary, and Mrs. Hughes out of her office and shut the door. She sighed and leaned against it a moment before running a hand up her neck. Letting out a breath she walked back to her desk to sit down when the door opened. She smiled and held out her arms as John walked over to her.

"How was he this morning?" Anna took the little boy from John, smiling at him before holding him close.

"Doctor says his cough's just a little congestion. It'll clear up in a few days with the medicine he gave us."

"I hope it helps him sleep through the night. Breaks my heart to hear him coughing himself awake in the middle of the night." Anna raised an eyebrow, "And I think he doesn't like my office."

"Maybe you should move your office in with mine." John sat on the edge of his desk, "There's more than enough room over at the Bubble Room."

"You know as well as I do, John Bates, that we would never work well in the same room together." Anna rocked the boy in her arms, "Besides, we're expanding the premises next quarter and we could add a playroom for JJ."

"Or we could just leave him home with a sitter."

"That's only for special occasions," Anna kissed JJ's forehead, the boy sleeping in her arms. "I don't want him thinking we don't love him."

"I had sitters until my mother thought I could be trusted to watch myself." John shrugged, "Didn't do me any harm."

"How about when he can actually speak we'll think about a sitter?" Anna walked JJ over to his playpen in her office and laid him down. "We need one for the Midnight opening tonight."

"Robert says that Sybil's more than willing to watch him with Sybbie and Mary's kids love to coo over him. He'll have a ball."

"I don't know if I want them watching him. Mary's children are terrors unto themselves."

"Like their mother." Anna glared at John and he held up his hands, "Hey, Talbot knew the risks when he married her."

"And they're happy together." Anna walked back to John, "They've done a marvelous job helping me build this little empire of ours and I won't hear anything negative said against them."

"You were telling me yesterday how you think Mary's a little too drunk on her own power for her own good."

"That was professional, not personal." Anna sat in her chair, using her toe to turn it slightly from side to side. "But she does love what she's done with this business."

"How about you?" John nodded down at Anna, "How does it feel running an empire?"

"Exhausting." Anna pushed out of her chair, "You'd think it'd get easier when you expand but when we opened the Tyrian I think we just let the ball keep rolling."

"I blame Blake. He's the one who thought expansion to Ireland and Scotland was a good idea."

"It was. We got the Emerald, the Sapphire, and the Ruby solvent in a year." Anna pointed to the map on her wall, "Then Gillingham helped us with the Rose, Lavender, and Indigo up north."

"Then that American guy, what's his name…Russ?"

"Ross."

"Right," John snapped his fingers, "He built your Gold and Silver in New York. That was a good move."

Anna sighed, "And a lovely vacation."

"The proof's right over there," John pointed to the playpen.

"Yes it is." Anna grinned at John, "And then we opened the Diamond in Paris last year. That was fun."

"JJ got sick eating snails."

"JJ got sick sneaking pastries when we weren't looking." Anna shrugged, "The crimes of the young I guess. Live and learn."

"Live and learn." John agreed, walking over to Anna, "So tell me, Mrs. Bates, now that you're opening your fourteenth restaurant slash night club, what are you going to do next?"

"Are you working for the BBC now?"

"I might be." John squeezed her, "Are you going to answer the question?"

"Yes. First thing I'm going to do," Anna dragged John to the corner of the office and pulled a sheet off a model. "Is show you that we're building a second Bubble Room."

"What?" John bent, examining the model in detail.

"I was thinking we maybe call it, the Bubble Two but the choice is yours." Anna smiled when John turned back to her, "Ross wants in on the Bubble Room business after he came for a visit last year and you told me years ago you wanted to work with California vineyards so…"

"So you're building me another Bubble?"

Anna cringed, "Do you like it?"

John picked her up, "I love it. Best gift anyone ever gave me."

"That's the best?"

"After JJ of course." John kissed her and set her down, "I think there was more to your list?"

"Hm?"

"You said 'first' and the showed me the Bubble Two," John chewed the inside of his cheek, "Is there a second thing you're going to do?"

Anna grinned and dragged John over to her desk. She pulled the window shades shut and locked the door before coming back to him. "I'm going to take you on the desk."

John coughed, "What?"

"The second thing I'm going to do," Anna unbuttoned John's shirt and pulled it off him to drop onto her chair, "Is take you on my desk."

"It won't hold me." John barely moved as Anna undid his belt and dropped his trousers to the floor, forcing him backward out of his socks and shoes.

"You'd be surprised. It's solid." Anna removed her sweater and unfastened her jeans. "If you keep standing still we won't have enough time John."

He hopped backward, sliding until his head rested at the far edge and Anna left her clothes on the floor, climbing up after him. She straddled his waist with his legs bent behind her, running her hands up his chest. "I still remember the first time you took me on this desk."

"I stole your knickers."

"Temporary loan," Anna bit his ear, "You gave them back later."

"After I had you on my desk." John's hands were at her back, playing over the clasp to her bra, "Is this a domination thing or can I remove this?"

"Go right ahead Mr. Bates." Anna sat up and tossed the unclipped bra to the side. "Just remember, JJ's sleeping so we need to be quiet."

"Did you just make this a competition Mrs. Bates?"

"Maybe?" Anna bent her head to kiss at his neck, "Afraid of a little competition?"

"No," John ran a hand under Anna's knickers to draw patterns on her ass, "I think we need to up the stakes."

"Suggestions?" Anna worked her way down his chest, tangling her fingers in the hair there before scratching down to the line of his pants.

"Week of nappy duty."

Anna snapped the elastic to send John groaning, "You're on."

"Don't play with fire Anna."

She slid his pants down his legs and massaged her way back up. "I won last time. I like my odds."

"No indicator you'll win this time." John reached out to touch her breast and Anna sighed, "I'm better than I was then."

"You're very confident." Anna leaned forward, her hand grasping at his erection while her lips took his mouth.

John broke away, "I've never heard you complain."

"Probably never will."

"Way to set a high bar."

"You started it."

John slipped his fingers through her knickers, tracing them along her folds. "A man always likes to hear his work is appreciated."

"I'm sure you and the neighbors heard it last night."

"Technically that was this morning." John slid a finger inside her, "You work long hours Mrs. Bates."

"Do I?" Anna caught her breath in her throat when a second finger joined the first. "Maybe it's because I'm actually seeing someone behind your back."

"I doubt it," John licked to the tops of her breasts.

"That sure of yourself?"

"You'd never have time for anyone else." John sucked at the skin there and Anna tensed around his fingers when he worked a third past her clenching muscles. Her hand on his paused as if too frozen to move.

"I could manage."

"Then maybe I should confess something to you," John waited until Anna looked down at him, her hand paused on his arousal, "I found this wonderful woman who has sex with me in the office of the restaurant she owns."

"Did you?" Anna pushed John back, leaning herself into his touches as her hips ground on his fingers. "Is she gorgeous?"

"Beautiful blonde with these eyes that just pull you in." John gasped when Anna tightened her grip, "She's absolutely wonderful."

"Then I should confess something to you," Anna bit her lip, stopping a full moan as John pulled one of her nipples into his mouth. "I've been seeing someone. He keeps me up all night, needs constant care, and he's got this mop of hair that just keeps falling in his eyes so I can't help but fall in love with him. We're running away together."

"Really?" John moved to the other side as Anna keened.

"To the park on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"Sounds serious."

"I've gave him a room in the house."

"Good thing we have a second room."

"What?" Anna blinked, not sure what John was saying. A moment later his fingers found her spot and she cried out, burying her head in John's shoulder.

"I said we've got a second room." John shifted under Anna, taking her hand from his arousal to kiss it before he removed his fingers from her. "We can use it for whoever new is coming to stay."

"There's no one new."

"You're more sensitive lately." John traced his fingers over her breasts before sucking them into his mouth again. "That means someone's coming."

"Maybe you're just getting better at this." Anna took her hand back to tug at his erection, "Practice makes perfect."

John grunted and bucked in her grip, "Maybe but I think there's something else. I think you've got a secrete Mrs. Bates."

"What?" Anna bent her head to lick a swirling pattern to his tip. She sucked there a moment before releasing. "You were saying something John."

"I think you might be pregnant again." John waited and smiled as Anna nodded, "I knew it."

"It was the week in Germany."

"Really?" John sat up slightly, leaving his own trail of kisses over Anna's shoulder. "The vacation we took when you finished therapy?"

"Yep."

"I thought there was something different about you on that trip."

"There was." Anna sat up enough to remove her knickers and held herself over John, "I'm in complete control now Mr. Bates, and it's all thanks to you."

His hips jerked toward her as she teased his tip at her entrance, "Anything I can do to help, Mrs. Bates, I'm at your service."

"Just," Anna sank down and braced herself on his chest, "Don't stop."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Anna rode John as he put his hands at her hips to hold her in place. She stared down at her husband and almost thought she felt something else move inside her. But when John's fingers increased pressure at her center in time with the piston of his hips she could only think about how she crested the wave again. Or how a few moments later John finished.

"I won." He flashed a smile at her before Anna bent down to kiss him. "You've got a week of nappy duty."

"Well worth it." Anna knocked on the desk, "And I told you it'd hold."

She slid off, digging in her drawers for the wipes she kept there and offered some to John, "Why is it he stays asleep here and then never sleeps at home?"

"Right now I'm just glad he stayed asleep and didn't wake up to see what we were doing." John nudged Anna as he got back into his pants and trousers, "We could've scared him for life."

"He'd get over it." Anna clasped her bra and buttoned her jeans, "So you'll get him a sitter for this evening?"

"All taken care of," John finished buttoning his shirt, "And I got your dress from the cleaners and my suit's all pressed."

Anna raised a hand to his cheek, "How would I ever live without you?"

"You never have to know." John kissed Anna, tucking in his shirt as he walked over the crib, "That's the best part."

"Isn't it just?" Anna sat down in her chair, watching her husband hold their son in his arms. After a minute she got up and pulled the blinds back up in her office. She turned and smiled at John until he looked up and noticed.

"What is it?"

"Just looking." Anna turned back to the window with the etched cerulean swan and folded her arms. Below her the room glowed gold and blue as the waiters and staff prepped all the tables for another night of service. He eyes went to the artistically drawn swan in attack mode on the far wall with the words painted underneath declaring 'The Cerulean Swan'.

John joined her, whispering in her ear. "Ready for it all to start all over again? The nightly grind to take over for the next few hours?"

"No," She shook her head, "I'm ready for something else."

"What?"

"Forever, Mr. Bates." Anna kissed his cheek and turned back to the dining room, "I'm ready for forever to start. Because forever starts now."


End file.
